Stopped into my girlfriend's place of work for dinner. Retail environment, good shit there but expensive.
She comes around the corner and sees me talking with her coworker. 20yo college kid with a nice ass, this girl is infatuated with me and has made it overtly clear that she is DTF. I haven't taken bait, though.
She does that face where she stares daggers as if to say she's pissed. She knows the girl digs me so I definitely have that hamster going a bit.
I go up to her and ask her about the ice cream she left in my freezer. It's only 300 calories a pint! "It's for you, I left it there for you" how nice of her.
I picked up on her mood quick as we stood briefly talking, I had my hand on her arm and waist while I was talking to her.
I let a silence build where we just looked at each other and I told right away she didn't want to give me a kiss as I was leaving
All she said was Okay, have a good night. No "baby" or anything. I said alright, text me later to let me know you got home safe and left.
She texted me an hour or so later apologizing, "I'm sorry I didn't give you a kiss. I'm in a bad mood and I wasn't feeling very affectionate. I love you."
Now maybe my hamster is spun a little but to me this is some behavior I don't like, and it's sending me a message about her emotions about how she views our current standing. Pulling away affection and being colder to me because she got a whiff of jealousy. She spends all day with all sorts of people, peers her age.
Initially I had this idea like "Just tell her it's okay and to let me know when she feels better" but I realized.. this isn't cool with me. I don't want her thinking it's okay to act up when she's mad like that. I'm thinking about ignoring her text, ignoring her tomorrow and maybe the day after that.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
Just ignore her text. Don't text her back. Let her make the next move. Be strict with yourself on this. She needs to text you 2x to 3x the amount you text her.
I don't really see what the problem is. She saw you chattting to a younger hotter chick that is into you - that makes her jealous / wet. That's fine. That means that she views you as a sexual being. She realises that you could pull that younger woman and smash, so this makes your girlfriend want to smash you.
This is all normal and good. You have to realise that golden rule - women and men are not the same and the rules are different.
If your GF sees you talking to a younger hotter girl that want to smash you, and she realises that you could easily smash her, then that is good FOR THE RELATIONSHIP. This makes your GF more aroused and loyal to you.
If you saw your GF talking to hotter, buffer more chadly guy that wanted to smash her, and she clearly wanted to smash him, then this is not good FOR THE RELATIONSHIP. This makes you less aroused and less loyal to the your gf, because you realise that there is less of a relationship than you thought.
The key to navigating a successful relationship is to realise that men and women are not the same.
As a married man, I can tell you the kiss of death to a relationship is when your wife sees you and thinks, he is so beta that no woman would every want him. That's when a wife looses all interest in a man. If your wife doesn't believe that you could have an affair, she will not have sex with you, or only have starfish sex with you. Reluctant, eye rolling, clock watching sex.
It's not that she WANTS you to have an affair, she wants to believe that you COULD have an affair, but chose not to.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
sorry bro for replying twice .... you say 'now this is some behaviour that I don't like' ....honestly, you're stressing about nothing. This is behaviour that I would like very much. If a woman gets a whiff of jealousy, this is exactly what keeps her keen. It's basically the magic ingredient called 'dread' that means she will continue to behave.
The only thing you have to watch out for is this: if she tries to retaliate in any way shape or form (tries to make you jealous) you have to clamp down on that shit really hard and fast. Let her know that her first offence will be her last - she gets one warning and then shes fired.
Female jealousy is a compliment to the male and a glue that holds a relationship together and makes the female aroused. Male jealousy is poison to a relationship, it makes the male hostile to his partner and gives the woman the dry. There are few relationships that can survive male jealousy.
We are not the same.
No-Stress-Cat 2y ago
She realized her mistake and she apologized. I presume this has never happened before, so I'd let it go THIS TIME.
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coolsocks00 1 2y ago
Sounds a lot like DEFEND and RATIONALISE to me ;)
"I saw X / I understand Y. It's okay. Dont do it again."
Dxmx99 2y ago
That's to the point I'll probably just say that
This is a snippet from the DARE thread, as something to say. Made me raise a brow when I read it too.
Diabs 2y ago
Probably good thing she's so invested in you tbh if she turns into a jealous crazy bitch then maybe do something but she was over it quick enough. Allot of things can trigger a girl you find this out in an ltr it how she deals with it that's most important if you start soft nesting her everytime she get emotional it won't work better off to just ignore her or laugh it off and not let her affect you with her woman shit. If she can drag you down with her little moods you won't enjoy being in an ltr it's just the reality of it and may as well go back to having plates.