For the uninitiated - girl was clearly very into me, making out numeous times over numerous nights we were out (bear in mind that these nights were typically a hobby event night), she was flustered/frustrated by me not asking for her number, asking her out on a date etc, making remarks about it, i.e. "oh is that gonna be after you take me out on a date after a year?", "when are you gonna ask for my number?". Ended up going on a date with her, pretty good date, really enjoyed it and had fun, conversations flowed smoothly, made out a few times again with some more escalating, didn't go back with her after I said to do XYZ at hers - "I'm not gonna bring you back on the first date", responded in an unfazed way, kissed again shortly after, etc. Next time around she was more goofy and comfortable around me, which was nice to see, fast forward to another event, she was a little quiet and I think she almost tripped over something when we were dancing, made a joke asking if she's had too much to drink, after a while she acts weird, pull her in for a dance, tell her she's acting strange, says that she doesn't like it when people think she cant take care of herself blah blah, we go to a somewhat quieter area where minimal people walk by, make out heavily, she's playing around with her blouse and bra strap, giving me the 'fuck me eyes', she then mentions that no one seemed to be walking into the mens toilets recently, which I misheard as someone walked in there and thought she didn't want to be making out like this at a public dance event, turns out I was autistic and didn't pick up on the hint, but in hindsight that's probably good, because there were literally 2 stalls in the mens toilets, cold as fuck and not really of the highest quality/cleanliness. After that, she was a little distant, turned into downright cold - minimal reaction when I said I was going, only a "see you" as opposed to the usual typical make out/hug etc. Sent her an animal meme, no reaction, tried calling her late at night another day, no response.
With that out of the way, the update - Didn't see her for two weeks, absolutely zero communication. Noticed she wasn't watching my stories on social media, so I knew she clearly got pissy about it. Saw her recently at another event and she completely avoided me, no eye contact, no 'hey', even when I tapped her at one point she didnt react, which I found fucking hilarious and a little embarassing for her. We were then walking as a group with other people to grab a bite/club, during which she was clearly over the top with her affection towards her friends, i.e. hopping around with some dude, walking up to a friend of hers and being all " I missed you been so long" etc. At the end me and my friend decided we're still going back as we live further away and we drove. Only then she muttered a sentence to me, wished me a good night and that's it, I probably said "yeah you too, see you tomorrow maybe", with good tonality and not the hopeful/simp tonality, but I should've probably avoided saying that.
Things I've learned from this;
- Escalating faster, although it sounds ironic given that I didn't do anything when she was ready to get fucked in the toilets, I still learned and improved lol.
- Being 'unusual' is good, who would've fucking thought - she kept trying to tell me that it's good to chase and she doesn't understand why I don't want to chase as well, not asking her for her number and having her put mine in instead screens for her interest level - she messages first she's clearly interested.
- Handling tantrums, I laughed at her initial 'i dont like when people blah blah', apologising didn't even come across my mind for something so fucking ridiculous.
- If you want to evidently make them bitter and probably ruin their ego, refuse, or autistically be unaware of them wanting you badly. You'll probably make her very, very emotional over it to the point where she doesn't want to see you, i.e. in my case lol.
Now my questions are how should I have maybe handled her clear interest to fuck at that time? Obviously "not here, let's go somewhere better" would've probably been miles ahead of my reaction, but what else?
Second question, is this 'salvageable'? I know what it sounds like, but as I said in other posts, I want to get the most experience out of every opportunity. She hasn't unfollowed me on insta, which is normal from what I know - they'll try to keep an eye on you and how you're improving and then try to come back sooner or later. I am obviously not going to contact her AT ALL, the only time I will talk to her is if she approaches me at another event in the future, apart from that, it's just gonna be a "hey' that's it, I'm not gonna be an emotional butt hurt bitch and I'll stay warm/friendly, but in the same way you say "hey how you doing" to any random stranger.
Another thing that I've thought about now is obviously finding other girls to talk to. Some are very friendly to me at the events, but in my eyes it's just that. One that I've known for a bit sat in my lap yesterday when I was talking to her friend, but even then there didn't seem to be an opportunity to really go beyond that (I know this sounds even more autistic). I am noticing my ice-breaking-beyond-platonic-level conversation skills being somewhat weak, at least in these settings, where I don't want to have a rep of being a desperate/thirsty guy and fucking up the event/environment, but at the same time, I don't want to be a little bitch who just sits there and doesn't pull when I'm getting some potential IOIs, just not certain if they are only doing it for attention or actually want me.
Side note - I've also muted her stories myself now
Edit - Also, for her to go ape shit/ballistic over this suggests that she was really interested, or is this thinking flawed? Surely if you didn't care you wouldn't have such an insane reaction over it
hatefatwomen23 2 months ago
Holy shit, opened this thread, and saw the length of your post about ONE girl. Didn't read a thing, not trying to be rude.
TRPPRT2021 2 months ago
I'm surprised you were expecting something short for a field report.
imtranscending 2 months ago
Yeah, I'm reading it though. It's just how I'd write my field reports (and still do), emptying my head of thoughts and including lots of detail which I think is relevant in the escalation process. Even if all the detail is relevant, I need to shorten mine so others don't have your reaction.
TRPPRT2021 2 months ago
If the details are notable/important then there's no need to cut them out. Of course don't write shit like "we met at 4 minutes past 10, but we were supposed to be there at 9:46". Going on a post just to comment "didn't read a thing" followed up by "not trying to be rude" doesn't strike me as someone who came in the first place to help out.
A "bro shorten your posts/make them more concise" would've been and sounded better.
And yeah I agree with what you're saying - emptying your head of thoughts is probably the best way to explain it.