My wife has been depressed for some time, mostly because of work but also because her friends are having a hard time.
I am trying to come in with some positive energy and invite her to join me in fun activities, but she seems uninterested. I am not trying to give her solutions, just trying to listen and be her oak, but that doesnt seem to help either.
She is going to a shrink, which is good, but I am feeling confused what to do. Should I just say "OK" and do the fun things anyway? The sex life is the one part that actually is working very well, but the rest is very low right now.
What are your solutions?
Thanks in advance!

Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
i like what loneliness said.
to add to it. you need to let her know when you aren't happy with her.
Yes, everyone has rough times. When it impacts your relationship, that's crossing a line.
You mention her friends are having a hard time. That's not that big of a deal. Unless they are like going through cancer treatment, death in family,etc.
If this continues, you got to talk to her and let her know it's bothering you. That's her wake up call, get on board or maybe we go different directions.
You can support her, you continue to do your thing. but there's limits. Let her know your limits and stick to them.
Einsamer 3y ago
Not much you can do. Keep sane yourself and give her time. Don't invest too much energy into her, but show her that you are there for you. If the situation doesn't get better within very few years, you'll have to decide if you are okay with her like that for the rest of your life.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 3y ago
Sometimes just being available is plenty, and all that you can do anyway.
[deleted] 3y ago
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Loneliness-inc 3y ago
Stop this.
You're trying to fix her. You can't fix her. You can't make her stop her stupidity.
If she continues to be depressed for a long time, she will deteriorate the marriage. She can do her work to get out of her depression. You cannot do the work for her.
You do this by taking a step back and not getting involved unless asked.
Give her space. Let her come to you if she needs your help. Otherwise, just back off and let her be a responsible adult. Allow her to succeed or fail at this.
SSeuSS 3y ago
Last 2 women I knew and that got very depressed for long period of time, weren't about work.
One was having a baby not with her husband.and gave it to adoption and he doesn't know. 20years.
Other one has cheated and it ate her insides.for couple of.years.
Not saying, but keep your mind open. She would have multiple or pile of reasons to.explain.depression. You being an.oak.would work in opposite direction, as you show her love, she would resent you for it or loose respect for trying with woman that doesn't deserve it anymore and maybe even get more depressed because of.it.
Whatever you do secure your finances from her and don't get caught being suspicious.
I don't know the story but her excuses sound like starter pack in case of infidelity.
Better than before depression? If yes then might be medicine.she receives or trying to make.sure she fucks you to cover her ass in case she got pregnant elesewhere. Contraception doesn't matter.its apparently innate and all women do it. Or being more experimental out of sudden.
dongking 3y ago
This. Be on your guard TS.
Have you noticed any other "new" behavioral changes or habits in your wifes life?
whytehorse2021 3y ago
You gotta find the root cause of the depression and get rid of it. Maybe she should switch jobs and find new friends.