Hello everyone, I was in the early stages of dating a girl I really liked her from what I’d seen, yet I never pedestalised her, literally smashed every single shit test she was so into me messaging me all day trying to get my attention the dynamic was perfect, though she was a bit insecure and would always say stuff akin to me not being open enough and basically implying that I didn’t text her enough etc but still everything was perfect.
Then one night I fucked up, did something really fucking stupid and I think I killed whatever comfort there was. The next day she’s all over me msging me but then when night comes messages me feeling like I only want her for sex and I just replied something like ‘we can talk about it in person, of course I care about you’, she responds ‘ok’
When I see her at work the day after she’s just different and we never got the chance to talk about it she rushed off without saying much. Saw her again the next day at work and she’s still sending me silly msgs and shit and I kept frame we talk a bit at work but she still felt different and not as keen now, after I left she msgs something akin to ‘I won’t be around forever if u don’t open up to me’’ we msg a bit and she says stuff like ‘I know nothing about u anytime I ask it’s always sarcastic etc’ ‘I’m not some fuck toy for you’.
It’s like is this a shit test or comfort test, I wanted to be caring giving that I fucked up pretty bad so just showed some comfort, then she’s like ‘oh feels like you got a crush on me’ I just said some cocky shit and then the following couple weeks things were just never the same between us, she’d text me stupid shit I didn’t reply as much anymore she wasn’t keen to meet up for 2 weeks. But there were a couple days where I tried being just a tiny bit sweeter cause I wanted to given that I felt guilty. She detaches more and more then sees a post on social media of me with another girl alone, then get upset and weird about it keeps bringing it up, I gave her a hug at work and told her everything’s ok, then that night tells me she wants to be friends and I just basically said ok I agree. We don’t talk as much now and I don’t see her around much but she occasionally messages me I don’t give as much attention and she’s expressed how she feels as though we don’t talk anymore and seems a bit upset about it.
Man it’s like fuck I really liked her and feel like everything was great until I was too much of an asshole on accident then she was getting different ever since day by day, did she wanna be friends from the lack of comfort or failing shit tests that I thought were comfort test. Can you recover from something like this? How?
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
This is pure oneitis.
Do not shit where you eat.
One woman, ignore what happens.
Same thing happens to 50 women, ask us what's going on.
hatefatwomen23 2y ago
When you have problems with a girl, ask yourself this question. 'What would I do if I had 10 other beautiful women lined up?'. It all comes down to a lack of options. Even though she didn't do anything wrong, just basic shit tests (which you recognized, but failed). Seems like you have a basic understanding of TRP, but like I said, what would you do if you had 10 other plates lined up?
It's fine, seems like you failed some basic shit tests, it happens, don't dwell on it. The fact that she saw you with another girl is a good thing. It makes her hamster spin, and that's why she randomly started texting you again.
For me, personally, I would soft next this girl, way too many shit tests/drama. I'd meet new girls, and slowly fade from this one. From what I've read, you're not getting much from her. You tried to set up a date for 2 weeks, but she just wanted to use you as a texting buddy.
If you want to recover from this, the best thing you can do is disappear, make her miss you. Doesn't sound like she did anything horrible, you just failed some basic shit tests. If she's into you, she'll be back. If not, who cares, you should always be meeting new girls anyway. Not sure why you're spending so much time on this one girl.
Blahhalbchoo 2y ago
Thanks. Yeah lol I got with another girl and felt nothing didn’t even really wanna touch her after. Got another showing interest but still think of her. Gotta admit though, she was distant before all these ‘shit tests’ I supposedly failed, maybe they were comfort tests? I accidentally fucking destroyed a lot of the comfort she felt with me. Man I like her and I just feel guilt don’t know whether I was too much of an asshole, or compensated to much and what I did wasn’t as bad as I felt. Think she met another guy and is trying to get into a relationship with him. She said she wants nothing anymore and wants to be friends. Don’t know what to make of it all whether to go more distant since I may have failed shit tests, or just see her around and sorta reframe a bit and make up for me accidentally being an asshole. Also she started medication for mental health around this time do you think this has any effect on how she felt for me?
hatefatwomen23 2y ago
You're overthinking this. There could be a million reasons why she's acting like this, you'll never know the real reason. Don't focus on the things that are out of your control. The only thing you can control is your emotions, and the way you react to these kinds of things.
I've had this happen too. Girls who have gone cold on me out of nowhere. Like I said, it could be a million reasons. Maybe you were too available, maybe there's another guy in the picture, maybe she's mentally ill, …. Who knows?
If anything, she's playing dumb games, and wasting your time. It's obvious that you caught oneitis for this girl. Will take time to get over her, and like everyone will tell you on here. The best way to get over a girl, is by sleeping with 10 other girls. Like I said before, don't dwell on things out of your control, keep working hard and just next this girl if you care so much about her.
Lionsmane8 2y ago
"You're only using me for sex"
Haha, I got that from my last girl. I'll tell you what that is. You are showing too much comfort.
Time to pull back and let her chase.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
chatGPT4: It sounds like there were some miscommunications and misunderstandings between you and this girl, and unfortunately, it led to a breakdown in the relationship. It's possible that she was testing you to see if you were really interested in her and willing to open up, but it's also possible that she was genuinely hurt by your actions and words.
If you want to try to recover the relationship, the first step is to have an honest conversation with her about what happened and how you both feel. It's important to listen to her perspective and acknowledge any mistakes you made. You can apologize for any hurt you caused and express your genuine interest in her.
However, it's also important to respect her boundaries and wishes. If she only wants to be friends, it's important to accept that and not try to pressure her into anything more. You can still maintain a friendly relationship and see where things go from there.
Ultimately, the success of any relationship depends on open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through challenges together. If you both are willing to put in the effort, it's possible to recover from a difficult situation like this.