Due to my circumstances, I've decided to move with my gf around 3 years ago, so I would pay less for rent while full time studying at uni. I know it is advised against. but only other option would be to rent a room with some strangers and I really hated that, because before I lived like that (23m, family ded).
At around 3 month mark at living together, blowjobs dropped to 1 every 3 weeks, now it is more like 1 per 5 months, she says she doesn't like it, doesn't like the taste (I tested diets specifically meant to make semen taste better).
I can get sex every time I want it from her, she almost never denies (only if sick or have to get up early), but the problem is she stopped initiating whatsoever. I did run a test couple of months ago, and would never initiate, guess what, I fucked her only 1 time in that month (I did it next month and same thing happened). At the hooneymoon stage my dick would be too sore, and she was the one initiating 70% of the time, even waking me up for midnight blowjob. She started getting BC pills couple of months ago and says her libido is very low because of that, but it started to decline way before that.
How do I fix this? If not for current situation (I have to finish uni) I would next her long time ago. She is very affectionate in other areas, very loyal etc. but sex is shit. She compliments my appearance, I look slim fit so I don't think she is not attracted but watch her actions right...
So what are my options? Dread game? Wait untill I finish uni and next her? I would like to have some satisfaction from sex till then, I don't like fucking just for the sake of it, if she isn't into it I would rather wank.
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
melosgallium 3y ago
What about women who are just sex craved? I've had experiences with nymphs, and they do not discriminate. Kind of mentally unhealthy as they're always pretty much physically affectionate women.
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
dongking 3y ago
As a man it's your job to initiate sex. So that's expected. And yes, she "faked" how horny she was in the beginning to get you addicted and pussywhipped. It's normal female modus to get commitment.
If you're living together and she never denies you sex, that's still better than like 99% of men living with their LTR.
Not saying it's great still, but seems that your expectations vs reality is slightly off.
Also start tracking her ovulation. When she's ovulating you can rest assured she'll crave cock, domination and masculinity. So make good use of it. Dom her hard, fuck her throat, tie her up and spank her etc. Treat her like she's a fuckhole made to pleasure your cock during those days. Just don't nut inside her lol.
You can also apply some dread to get her going by herself again. Gym harder, improve yourself etc so women starts flirting with you when you're out together. Your gf will start throating your cock real quick.
sacred_juice 3y ago
,,As a man it's your job to initiate sex.'' - that's unfortunate, but it is what it is. So how should I initiate it properly?
,,Not saying it's great still, but seems that your expectations vs reality is slightly off.'' - so you're saying that I might have skewed view? That I should wait for her to initiate, but lead every time? I get it should supposed to be like that, but I would like to be in the opposite (receiving) end of that sometimes too.
dongking 3y ago
You should never wait for her to initiate sex. When you want to fuck her, take her like a man. Grab her, kiss and grope her however you want. Take dong out and put it in her.
If you want her to suck it, then grab her hair and put your dong in her mouth.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
this is sage advice. listen to the dong king.
Durek_The_Bald 3y ago
This is due to loss of attraction/arousal/alphafux. She no longer gets off on servicing your dick.
Women initiating less than men is normal. You have to game your girlfriend like how you would game any random stranger. Women don't come sit on your dick out of nowhere. A GF usually doesn't either. You being the initiator most of the time is just something you have to accept. As long as she responds, it's not a problem.
Stop with the tests. It's beta and only serves to instill more beta in you (resentment, score keeping, covert contracts etc.) Lead, initiate, escalate, be cocky, be funny etc. That goes for relationships too. Don't be a whino, just take charge.
That's because, in her mind (and probably actually), you were more alpha in the beginning. Less controllable, more fun etc. Now you're the kind of guy who doesn't initiate for a month just to prove a point. And that's indicative of your general mindset having become more unattractive.
Preferably you don't. Preferably you next her and move out. "Have to finish uni" is just an excuse. If you went in for it, you could find a collective to move into. It's not that you can't, it's that you don't want the hassle.
Alternatively, which I don't think is worth it if you don't have kids and own shit together, you increase the passive dread by becoming more attractive, and less unattractive. That means being physically fit, having less of a pussy mentality, and not being as available.
It's probably not worth it though. The attraction/arousal/alphafux in this relationship took a nosedive far, far sooner than it should be expected to.
Edit: Sorry, I thought you'd been with her for 7 months. 3 years since you moved in together sounds just about right for betaization to be taking a real toll on the quality of sex.
sacred_juice 3y ago
,,Women initiating less than men is normal. You have to game your girlfriend like how you would game any random stranger.''
Any tips on that? How should I initiate when we live in one bedroom apartment, and how does exactly gaming gf looks like? I make fun of her sometimes, I tell her she looks good and sometimes I don't even talk to her because I'm busy or something, but when you said that I think now that I forgot how to realy game a girl.
,, It's not that you can't, it's that you don't want the hassle.''
Exactly, and it's very convienient for me now to live with her.
,, Now you're the kind of guy who doesn't initiate for a month just to prove a point.''
I've never told her about it, I try to stfu in stuff like that (contrary to r/relationship_advice) because I read somewhere, maybe sidebar, that you don't negotiate desire.
Also, how do you cite somebody on this site?
dongking 3y ago
You use this before the text you want to quote >
Durek_The_Bald 3y ago
Negotiating desire is one thing, building desire is another. You have to build up sexual tension to get their tingles going, especially within the not-so-very-mysterius-or-exiting constraints of a relationship. And it's just as much mental as it is physical, if not more. You're warming her up, and you're not in a rush.
Think of it like you're picking her up. If you're picking a girl up, or dating someone, one of the things you do is you establish physical contact. You do the same with your girlfriend, only you can be more direct and immediately sexualised, because the rapport is already there.
What I do with my wife is I build sexual tension over a bit of time. I'll walk by her when she's in the kitchen or something, give her a kiss /w tounge that lasts for several seconds, feel her ass up real good, grab her by the waist and pull her towards me, feel her tits etc. I might tell her I'm going to tap that later, and then get back to whatever I'm doing. Planting little seeds like that. The more I do it, the more nasty shit she's going to be up for. Because now she's horny, her mind is on sex, and her hamster is working to my advantage.
Telling her she looks good is fine and all, but it's not really sexualising anything. It's more of a compliment, building comfort, not building tension and desire. It's not wrong to do that, but it's pretty unrelated to what you're trying to achieve (awesome, enthusiastic, no holes barred sex). You wanna be more sexualised than that, more brave. Worst thing that happens, you get shot down. You get shot down a lot, you fuck someone else. Point is, it's never a big deal. Women are always replaceable, so just dare to do it.
STFU, ignoring, games like that, are only to stop guys from saying and doing unattractive things. It's meant for guys who are already heavily betatized, and just can't help themselves being unattractive. But you're not going to get your girlfriend to suck your dick enthusiastically by simply STFU, and ignoring the shit out of her. "Don't be unattractive" is just half of the puzzle. The other half is "be attractive". And that means doing and saying attractive things. So escalate, build tension, sexualise, and do so confidently.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
@sacred_juice Getting a girl mentally ready to get fucked - and love it - is a big deal. The readiness of her body is dependant on her mental frame of mind.
Once you've taken the above steps and have a highly compliant girl again, you can get her in state faster and faster. Come home, enter the door, take off your shirt, go and tear her pants off, lift her up and fuck her then and there. That's how it's meant to be.
Cant pick your girl up and fuck her standing? Time to pack on some muscle or get that bitch on a diet.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
OK, I've been married 18 years. I just got my dick sucked last night. For the longest time sex kinda sucked. Then I read The Rational Male and started gaming my wife. Her interest came back but the sex still sucked so I read The Sex God Method. Now she fucks the shit out of me as much as I let her. She doesn't like it but I can fuck her ass if I want. She doesn't like it but I can get a blow job if I want and I can even grab her hair and force her to deep throat me. I do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. And she loves it. Finally I read TRM - Positive Mascilinity and learned about ovulatory shift. You should switch birth control methods to non-hormonal and fuck the shit out of her during peak ovulation.
sacred_juice 3y ago
You see, the thing is I want her to like it when she is doing it, otherwise it's just meh af for me mentally.
Also, you mentioned The Sex God Method, I've never read it fully but I've read some of it, and he puts the very pressure on words that you say while having sex, if I'm not mistaken. I'm not american, nor live in english speaking country and you have to believe me on that - in my native language sexualised words or phrases, especially during sex are very cringy and off putting. At first I thought it was only me, but I've dive deepen into the issue and it's the language and cultural thing.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Women want passion during sex. Like you're really getting into it. You can adapt that to your local culture. You might be able to get her into giving blowjobs if she thinks it's something you really enjoy. Maybe drop little hints about how much you enjoy it.