Title enough? Other Players meaning men out to get my girl.
To be precise, I've been chilled asf through out the FWB period. Never even worried about other dudes. These problems come following upgrade.
Edit: This would be my first "upgrade" given in 3 or 4 years as a Solo rider and a few chicks in between periods of focused self improvement
Problematic_Browser 1 3y ago
She isn't yours.
It's just your turn.
geometrydash 3y ago
I spend way too much time playing video games. Only in this way am I able to unwind after a hard day's work. I want to lose myself in the game and revel in the enchanted environment it takes place. Therefore, I would want to extend my gratitude to you for the game that can be found at https://monkeymartgame.com You advocated for it.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
This is the problem with investing in women: suddenly you need to know it's worthwhile.
Let me turn this around.
It is up to HER to prove to YOU that she is worth investing in. If she's talking to other men, maybe she isn't.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
Read these
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/83ah8u/ltr_the_bare_minimum_you_need_to_know/ https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/8dqf35/indifference_and_control_why_you_dont_wanna_be/ https://www.trp.red/p/humansockpuppet/754
Dxmx99 3y ago
These are good articles, thanks for showing. I'm not sure how they relate to the aforementioned external influences?
Do I say "I expect my girl to reject mens advances"? And then pat her on the head if she complies?
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
You would have to read them and understand the content first of all. Doubt you've done that in sub 20 min. If you provide more info we might be able to give you more specific advice.
Once you're in a monogamous LTR this boundary does not need introducing. If she is emotionally invested in the relationship and sees you as a high value guy, she will mate guard herself. If she doesn't do that, then she's for the streets and you have to let her go either way.
Some women have a history of having male orbiters, or generally just not being very clear with men who hit on them. They might give you excuses as to why it's okay for her to talk to guys and be friends with them. That's when this boundary needs to be clarified and enforced.
Whenever you can, you want to use covert communication in ways that demonstrate boundaries in a non needy way. This can be sometimes be impossible to come up with on the spot, and so overtly stating boundaries is better than not doing so at all.
I wouldnt say "i expect my girl to reject men's advances" as that's a given. Much less reward her for doing something trivial. Watch her actions and see what "level" of commitment she is at; her understanding of how to deal with these men. Think about how to deal with it from there.
Dxmx99 3y ago
Truth be told I skimmed it. A lot of it is actually things I already practice, as I learned most from here and by being a manipulative BP guy for years. Some of the control game is similar to BP control - neg, reward, etc.
I already have her submitting and complying 90% of the time, sometimes I have to be more stern with her. I do the whole reward system as well.
My problem as the article states is that I still try to be indifferent, so that's a great point I'm picking up and applying.
Dxmx99 3y ago
I'm paraphrasing as I'm currently lifting but when she has male orbiters and doesn't be clear to them, do you have a suggestion on how I can suggest to her that Im not putting up with it?
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
Enforcing a boundary you've never bothered to introduce is rough. You just have to introduce it and not in a butthurt fashion.
Next time i observed it i would probably just say i've never dated girls with guy friends and prefer it stays that way. She'll ask about it and you casually reaffirm your stance without budging. Say that you expect her to excuse herself in such scenarios and not engage.
It's up to her to comply.
Dxmx99 3y ago
I addressed male friends in the beginning when she got to FWB status, when she was priming to try and lock me down. Told her that we're on a good track because she doesn't have guy friends, or party without me etc. So she knows and doesn't text with guys.
It's when we're out and about that I start to get into a defensive state where I'm priming myself to deal with other men. Nothing has really come up in this case yet but I worry about losing my edge over others by being too worried about it in the first place.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
I mean, it's just an aspect of being in an LTR you have to deal with. Nothing to get worked up about. Only time it's a big deal is when you make it one.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
It's called passive dread. Only you've got it backwards. You have dread. Should be she has dread. She should dread that you can easily replace her.
Dxmx99 3y ago
Her SMV is lower than mine. She feels dread, dread over my own co workers. I'm at near model status, she could lose a few lbs but shed still has Lower self esteem. Has cried once or twice before in the midsts of a "I'm not good enough". Shes started hitting the gym more because of me.
She doesn't talk to these men I'm mentioning, with the exception of her own co workers. She'll sometimes mention them ( one of them does give me a sense of something, she's been really into a game on her Switch that he told her about. It's her style of game, mostly. Artsy, cute-ish, kind of violent. She wants me to get into it but Im not going to. )
If she does bring up any guys, I don't react or I say "sounds like a nice kid" or similar to that affect.
When we met I was spinning her and she found out that I was fucking someone else too which really helped in raising my value.
All this week she's been wanting to make plans with me, spends cash on me, treats me very good. It's been more consistent since upgrading to the point I want to say no.
I don't think it's dread from her, I think I'm relapsing into an old mindset from my last relationship in which I would be overtly mate-guarding. That happened almost 4 years ago, I was pre-TRP.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
OK so when a man mates his biology takes over and changes his brain to mate-guard and be territorial. Helpful for keeping the species going but devastating in today's dating world. Just recognize it for what it is and maybe even talk to your woman about dressing modestly so you don't have to mate-guard. My wife mate-guards herself because that's part of Islam so I never really worry.