2 days ago

Counselling department had a small stand with plates. You write something on a plate then break it for a cathartic release. I wrote "fear" all over my plate many times. That's what's been stopping me from doing anything with women and is why I put up so many buffers to avoid rejection. Fucking fear. I smashed the plate. Then I see two girls (not students) and call em over to the table to smash some plates. I can feel my own charisma flowing when I meet em. They broke their plates and one asked for my number so she can invite me to church events. One's a 7.5

Last night

Met with this Latter Day Saints for a bible study. There were a few women in their late 20s and thirties plus missionary girls, but mostly single young dudes (lol). After study the missionary girls pulled me aside for a 1 on 1 and teach me about their faith and answer questions I had. They were asking me deep questions, about faith. They were starting to get emotional when they shared their testimony and were saying things like how "it was meant to be that they met me on my campus" and "it’s all part of a plan." A lot more was said, stuff about Jesus loving me and how they "saw the look on my face" when they mentioned something and I "knew it to be true."

About a month ago my brain changed overnight where I now usually have lots of buffers when I meet new people where as I didn’t have them before.

I'd just met these people and they were so passionate about all of it, even getting teary eyed right in front of me. I was taking the opportunity to socialize and meet some girls. I had fewer buffers walking out with them last night, like they'd weakened my armor. It's like this weird combination of authenticity from their religious convictions and sincerity to convert me. So I looked into it.

Turns out it’s love bombing and a tactic used my Latter Day Saints to get investigators or convert. There may be sexual attraction involved in this, idk. This was my first ever feeling love bombed. Man it must be effective if their church keeps doing that. https://recoveringagency.com/articles/the-methods-of-thought-reform/love-bombing/

I’m better now because it’s the next day, but whew. They already wanna meet up again. I told em I'd read Ch.1 of the Book of Mormon. I just don't know how much attention I'm getting is because of attraction or the fact I'm an investigator. I think you guys would say, treat em as if they're any other girl, and that makes sense.