Me (26) and ltr (22) have been having small problems majorly because of I am having a rough patch. I have been dealing with legal issues which led to financial drought for almost 6 months on top of getting my bank accounts frozen. Ltr never complained about it, but naturally I got withdrawn. The last two months got so bad that I couldn’t even pay rent. I got a storage unit, packed my furniture up and started moving through different cities. I never told ltr this was because I was broke. She took me bowling and fucked me in a hotel room before I left town. I have been back for two weeks but never met her (good thing she was on her period). I can tell she’s grumpy because of this. I knew she expected something for valentines but I didn’t reach out. She only said it would have been good if we had spent the day together. As it is, my main focus is to get my life back on track. I understand that an ltr is not something I can put on pause and get back to when the waters are calm. She has posted WhatsApp stories twice and I know it’s a cry for attention. First one was a meme with something like “the times when I’m on good terms with my man be the best 30 minutes of my life.” Today she posted a selfie and she knows I hate that. Stayed up for 10 minutes and then she removed it after I had viewed it. Should I address this or ignore it? She has been an almost perfect girlfriend and I wouldn’t want to ruin it. She views me as some sort of Superman and I hate having her see me when I’m not in perfect shape. And yes I know I need to keep improving myself in all aspects. I just need to know how to handle this when I’m not very fit.
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dongking 3y ago
I mean you already know the answer. Get your shit together. Start making money and it'll all be fine.
What exactly are you waiting for? Get to fucking work man. Put in 20h shifts every day if you have to. You have zero excuses not to.
Whatever you do, do not involve your girl or complain to her about your situation. Don't even mention it.
w4iks 3y ago
It’s not that easy, given that I’m in a third world country. I’m still putting in the work and doing what I can. My work involves a lot of networking and I can’t do much of that now.
dongking 3y ago
There's no excuses to be broke man. None. Change career or take a temporary job if needed. No excuses.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
you ignore your so-called ltr on v-day ???
Jesus dude...... spend some fucking time with the poor girl already
w4iks 3y ago
I did call her but that was it. Money plays a big role in relationships. Now that she’s off her period I know I have see her this week.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
No it doesn't. Money pays a big role in beta / provider relationships. Not sexual ones. Are you fucking or paying?
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
Guy's so worried about being "in perfect shape" he's not able to live his life.
OP stop being a pussy and own up to your situation. You're making this about her when it should be about you. Take a deep breath and make some plans with her and enjoy yourselves. Relax and understand that it's gonna be okay when you meet up. You dont have to tell her everything but there's no problem with letting her know you're dealing with stuff as long as you're not openly having a mental breakdown in front of her.
w4iks 3y ago
Thanks for your reply. I do agree that this is 100% about me and I’m doing everything I can to turn it around. I have the “go big or go home” mentality and it’s affecting my life (if I can’t go on the big dates why do it, if I don’t have the perfect conditions to workout why not wait) Working on changing that. Also, I used to think disappearing from women when things are going south is the best way to handle it; keeps the mystery where they think you’re out doing cool stuff while in actual sense you’re too broke to step outside. Then when things get sorted out I reappear and pick up where I left. Used to work with plates but I realize it’s not working with a ltr.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
Women dont give a fuck about big dates generally. Thats a demand they make to betas.
If you can meet up somewhere and fuck and talk that's all she wants 95% of the time. The last 5% is for date activities so she can hamster up a rationale of not just being your fuck toy.
She wants you confident more than she wants you rich.
w4iks 3y ago
100% agree. She has repeatedly told me she doesn’t care where we go as long as she’s with me. Or I take her to some expensive restaurant and she says she would rather go home and cook for me. I know this is mostly about me. I have always lived a somewhat extravagant lifestyle and loved going to nice places even before I met her. On the other hand, I think this played a role in her falling for me. Girl sees me as some sort of mafia boss and I would want to keep it that lol
whytehorse2021 3y ago
The biggest turn-off in an ltr is when she sees you defeated. The biggest turn-on is when you struggle but overcome. I got zeroed out and went on welfare but I'm looking for jobs every day, retraining, and handling things. My wife works as well. She sees me doing the best I can and so she's cool about it.
w4iks 3y ago
We’ll soldier on brother. Sounds like you have got it handled well under the circumstances. I just don’t like anyone seeing me when I’m defeated. They may not care but it’s a big deal to me. I hope things get better for the both of us soon.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
We have a saying in stock trading: It's not a loss unless you sell. Stocks go up and down but you choose when you exit. I've still got psychedelic company stocks that are down 90% but I'll take them to my grave and pass them on to my sons before I lose money on them. Eventually they'll get bought by big pharma and roll over as stocks in Pfizer or whatever.
Warren Buffet lost $28billion in 2008 and $2.7billion last year but it was all on paper. Elon Musk set the world record for losing the most money ever in human history last year($200 billion). Some Google workers who've been laid off earned as much as $1 million a year, report says.
So nobody sees me as defeated because I'm not defeated. Down but not defeated. I didn't capitulate and sell out at rock bottom. I didn't walk away from the fight. And I'm not just talking about stocks. I lost $70k on lawyers last year and $240k from my company in a hostile take-over. But you know what? Fuck that shit! IO'm fighting it all the way to the supreme court if I can.
And you know what? People have mad respect for me. They see themselves giving up in my situation. Then they see me not giving up.