There’s this girl I was briefly involved (nothing serious) with and have known for a while, our relationship was fading out and I said I wanted to end it she wants it too. I will have to see her every now and then at work and I’m just wondering what the optimal thing to do is as I would like to get with her again in the future.
I told her that I wanted to keep our relationship as co workers and nothing much more (which honestly felt abrupt and wrong but so be it) and this seems to have shocked her as she wants to be close friends and she’s texting me asking if thats definitely all I want and she seems upset by this.
I was sorta a dickhead and can’t tell whether everything fizzled out due to me being an asshole or me losing frame briefly. Don’t know what to do cause I really like this chick but I’ll keep contact minimal if that’s what I must do. I just don’t want to overreact and completely burn the bridge when there may be a chance to get together down the line one day because things feel somewhat recoverable to me. Thanks
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT
Just be friendly and cordial and normal with her.
THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT
You handled "the talk" terribly.
So why tell her "coworkers and nothing more".
I don't understand....... you told her you want to be just coworkers, but you're telling us that you want to see her again in future. I think everyone (me, you, this poor girl) are utterly confused about what you want.
Joetv1235 3y ago
Thanks for the reply. Hoping you could help me here. We were very briefly involved with each other but known each other for a while.
I was an asshole accidentally and then I felt like shit so I went nice for a few days trying to show her I care, but I think this loss of frame hurt our relationship, she doesn’t want to continue it and I said I agree.
I thought the common knowledge around here was to move on after something is over with a girl rather than stick around orbiting and just keep it cordial when you see her around?
I do want to see her again in the future but not sure how to play this I feel like shit after fucking it up. I won’t see her very frequently at work. There’s other factors at play I won’t mention online but I thought when it was her idea to not continue on this was the best move. I haven’t gotten mad at her or snything was quite an amicable end.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Ideally yes.
Ok, fair enough.
Do work on getting more options though!
Whisper Moderator 3y ago
You've got the wrong notion of TRP. TRP isn't here to tell you how to get THAT GIRL. It is here to tell you how to be more attractive, in general, to girls.
One of the key pieces of advice we give for this is "don't overfocus on THAT ONE GIRL".
hatefatwomen23 3y ago
If you had more options, you wouldn't care about this girl. And she's a co-worker... I think it's obvious what you should do.
Joetv1235 3y ago
I got options sometimes you just prefer some and like them. Anyway you think I should even answer texts and stuff or is it all a trap, is there anyway to tell whether she left changed cause I was a dickhead or lost frame?
Axlerod9999 3y ago
To be honest people here tend to be too hardcore. This shit is nuanced. The only thing you should remember is abundance mindset.
So you want to fuck your coworker? See if she's the type who would make a big deal if you lose interest. Also is she the hottest you can land? Or you have hotter prospects? If it's the latter then leave her alone.
Remember you only live once. Until this will cause you to get fired you should definitely fuck her. You must realise that life is fleeting. Live it right now, but within limits.
If i were you id remain cordial so you can have a chance to fuck her later or atleast use her for social proof. But remember to not get attached. If you feel attached or outcome dependent then you block her for as long as you need to get over her. Believe me after a while you don't care. And even if you fuck her again you won't care she'd just be a lay.
Men get clarity as time passes. Women become alpha widowed.
I couldn't look at my ex's pics. Now a year later i can fuck her and feel nothing. While she cries her eyes out to be with me. A year before i would have probably become a simp to her just to keep her.