I'll try to keep it as short as possible, and make it as easy to read as possible;
Current limitations;
- Logistics (no car for I'm guessing around 6-9 months, passing exams now for license)
- Location, UK, living next to a shitty city
- Not on any dating apps
Now the question - how do I go about meeting more women in my life? The best way currently is through dancing, but even then you're looking at predominantly 30-40 year old women, and I'm 22 (yes yes MILFS, but the older ones are typically more 'established' in the community, and if things go sour, she could probably easily damage my rep and I really enjoy this hobby). I have met a few through this, actually got a few dates, make outs etc, but nothing beyond that.
My other problem is not being able to gauge how quickly to escalate - first few rejections taught me that I was too slow, the next one taught me that I was too quick (the girl was genuinely less of a typical modern day woman, a lot more traditional, but still got essentially rejected as she is very tempted to move back and didn't want to 'waste time' on a relationship that would have to end, which is probably half bullshit excuse and half reality, now that she's back she was somewhat interested again and engaging in conversations over text as well, then went on to leaving me on delivered for a week now lol), so the lesson learnt is that I was too quick here.
Another girl is, as one user told me before in a different post, a 'cock tease', where she will appear every few weeks for the hobby, be really flirty and needy over text, but then disappears - how should I handle her next time she does that (which will probably happen knowing her, this has happened at least 3-4 times) - should I be direct and if so how direct, and how quickly should I try to escalate?
Any advice? Maybe someone was in the same shoes as me and got out of this weird period of making progress but at the same time still not reaching the target?
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Don't worry about shit that's unlikely that you can't control. Take the milfs dude, take the milfs. Yes she could damage your rep, but at least you'd be getting laid. It'll probably be fine.
Ok, let me tell you the secret here.
Girls who reject you for "being too forward" were never interested in you, and you just saved yourself a fuckload of time.
Girls respect men who are very, very forward but don't go further than she is comfortable with. Push, pull back, push, pull back. Small increments. Grabbing her tits isn't the first move, but it's possible to get that far with a stranger, in public, in a few hours if you get good.
"Escalate to find out" should be your motto...... you can escalate, tease, pull back and be forward in a way that is exciting and comfortable for her. It's not even that hard.
"Too fast" means either "not interested" or "you missed some steps out". You should be taking small steps and that gets you through to the end goal quickly. You lead, you push, you pull back. It's very rapid (a few hours) when you get good.
See, she liked it.
But she's a timewaster, so she's back for more attention. That's fine, but it's your choice to ditch her and not waste your time.
Timewaster.
If she likes you she'll be available to you and respond to your texts.
If she's a timewaster or attention seeker she'll do whatever.
This one sounds like "flirt to get involvement while doing hobby, then move on to next thing". She's flirting to get social credit / safety/ someone to talk to.
What to do: simple - just be nice, but don't get sucked in to her games.
TRPPRT2021 3y ago
Thank you once again - fountain of knowledge hahah.
Yeah the time waster analysis is accurate. I decided to grab my balls and actually use them and I just started to be more cocky with my responses, not being scared to tred or cross the line sometimes, i.e. "Back to playing with me now?" with a smirk, which obviously flusters her given that I wasn't like this before. One thing I've read/heard was that in order to attract women you gotta push multiple buttons, i.e. emotions, so before it was just me being friendly and some light flirting, now its calling her out, ignoring her/dry responses, more overt flirting/innuendos, etc, but now I don't give a shit if she isn't interested - something I didn't possess before.
Any advice on push and pull/teasing/escalation? I'm aware of the escalation ladder, but I'm wondering how and what I should be thinking/having in mind when I'm between the 'accidental' touch to before kissing and between making out and escalating further beyond that. I like to kinda change it up a little to see what they're more responsive to, i.e. gentler caressing during kissing, to more aggressive making out/grabbing behind her neck etc, but before this and after that I struggle.
Escalate to find out is really an eye opener, but same as above, how do I progress it, I dont want to catch a charge hahah
Once again, thank you :) You are really helping me and other readers out with this info
Edit - and for the MILFS, is there any different 'approach'? I kinda feel like a kid due to the lack of a car
[deleted] 3y ago
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Lone_Ranger 3 3y ago
Please, for the love of god, write shorter sentences. Each one is a paragraph.
[deleted] 3y ago
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TRPPRT2021 3y ago
Moving out - Unfortunately that would be difficult for me. I probably could but my finances would be absolutely and utterly ruined, and my relationship with my parents is really good anyways right now, plus I contribute to the living costs, not much, but around 500 gbp a month which I hope at least helps out or covers me.
Point 3 - Where would that be? I don't really go many places besides gym, few pool/bowling sessions with friends, dancing sessions and that's it really. I guess I could go out to the city centre and game there? If so, does it differ being in the UK or should I just approach, and any recommended sources?
4 - Yeah doing that, but I'm getting so fucking unbelievably close that it's annoying to not just have at least a FWB or a single hook up.
5- Yeah, thought about doing that, well, in theory I did do that, but it didn't really reap any rewards. If she is flirty again, should I try to escalate somehow? I imagine I would have to play it safer though and push with "my turn to be played by you" with a smir.
And yeah I know, she's a leech for the currency we poses - attention. I've become better at controlling how much I give out, but I do break sometimes, but it's fine considering I quickly 'readjust' and don't get too emotional especially with her.
How should I wok on my social muscles btw? I've definitely mentioned this a number of times in my previous posts, but essentially I pin pointed the problems that mainly arise in my situations; breaking the ice, moving on from boring/platonic conversations to more playful and potentially flirty conversations, getting the girl to actually become more flirty/give me something to work with, and then closing.
Issue I noticed is I'll get a girl to flirt with me, even fucking kiss me/make out, but then the close doesn't work out, am I beingslow?
Thank you :)
Bulba 3y ago
In my experience it’s much easier to simply move than to try to thrive in a bad location. Think about your hunter-gatherer ancestors. It’s part of male nature to move away from a place where things don’t work out.
I’d say that for most people having a hard time with women on this forum, their location is the main reason. Especially if you’re disadvantaged from a blackpilled perspective ( short, not white, ugly face, etc. ).
TRPPRT2021 3y ago
Well the location is more of a hinderance due to the lack of logistics - town of 50k people, the nearest shit-ties are only a 20-30 min drive, decent cities, but its a decent city in the UK, aka fuck all compared to a decent city abroad. 45-60 mins is Nottingham, arguably one of the better cities nearby, but cost of living is gonna fuck me in the ass, especially given that I'm only 22 on 24k.
Eh well I don't think I'm disadvantaged at all from BP perspective - white, 6'4, although I used to be a shy timid kid was told I was attractive but never believed it, only real issue was acne, at least from physical reasons, mental would just be lack of conidence, which I now have developed, and acne is pretty much gone, game isnt the greatest but I manage to get dances with the fitter girls at clubs, few kisses/make outs here and there when I do go out, and so on, haven't managed to secure a hook up yet tho, only been out a few times so I'm warming up lol
Bulba 3y ago
It seems you're doing fine and just need more money. It would definitely help to have a car and also to live on your own at a nice apartment.
Figure out a way to make more money, that's my only advice for you. Don't worry about game, your game skills are already enough.
TRPPRT2021 3y ago
Thanks :) unfortunately I'm struggling with figuring out the ways to make money, my contacts are limited, I don't really have many influential people in my vicinity of any sort
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Start by friend-zoning the older women. Use them for pre-selection, social proof, and networking. Next thing you know they're introducing you to women they know. Maybe some of those 40yr olds have 18yr old daughters or their friend has a daughter. When I was 22 I was banging a 44yr old and her daughter was smokin hot.