Title. I knew her years before we started dating, and she was much more fit. Lately the pounds have been starting to add up. She's not morbid yet, and she's still quite attractive in my eyes. I want to help her rectify this issue before it becomes major. She exhibits tons of green flags otherwise.
Her meals are fine. But she snacks on tons of sweet food (cookies, candy, cupcakes, etc). This is the biggest culprit of her weight gain. I, on the hand, rarely eat those types of food.
She gets moderate exercise. She wears a FitBit to track her steps, heart rate, etc. I ask her about her physical activity often and encourage her to keep it up.
I haven't directly confronted her about her weight yet. I feel like in general, that's a big no-no. I realize that I need to be more subtle, and lead her to making better decisions.
How do I help her lose weight and develop healthier habits?
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
By putting the fear of god in her, in other words: passive dread. Keep on your grind and get fitter, and she will see what she has to lose. It could also be that she's depressed/complacent for some reason. Do you think that's possible?
jefferson 2y ago
If you love your girlfriend, then just share your opinion, really, she will try to be following some weight loss steps. Better to avoid some sugar food items and doing some simple workouts will surely help to lose body weight.
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
Dread game. Make her feel like she has to be sexy again in order to keep you. Because this behaviour is a result of too much comfort plus a sugar addiction.
Thinking you can lose the weight for her is a bloop fantasy. Tell her the sweets stay out of the house for both of your sakes. Cant outrun a bad diet.
Durek_The_Bald 2y ago
Do you maintain a fit lifestyle yourself, and lead by example? Do you go to the gym at least three times a week, and regularly say no when offered snacks etc?
If she isn't dumb as shit, she'll understand what she has to do in order for her SMV not to mismatch yours. And if she feels like you're her best hypergamous option, she'll want to do it too.
Start with the covert stuff / passive dread. Give her a couple of months to get her act together by her own accord. If that doesn't do it, you can try going overt. But honestly, it's probably better to just dump her then, if you don't have a lot invested (house, kids etc). Active dread really shouldn't be necessary towards someone who's just a GF. If it is, that's a huge red flag.
Lionsmane8 2y ago
Honestly i would be direct about it. But that's just me.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I like being direct too, to avoid the bullshit but in this context, that's how you get labelled "abusive" when a relationship ends.
"He said I should lose a few pounds and made me feel terrible about myself."
Lionsmane8 2y ago
If a relationship ends (especially if you are the one that did the dumping), you are automatically labelled with vague terms that paint you as the villain to whomever she'll speak to.
Remember, it is never the women's fault, even when it is her fault.
She is forever the victim even if she is the chief instigator or the accomplice.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Hit the gym..... take her along....
Eat healthy.... take her along.....
Encourage her as much as you can.
But ultimately she may believe it's ok to be fat when you have a bf, and you might need to move on.
You can only do so much...... SHE has to decide.
You can't say she's fat, but you can say other women are hot and slim..... if that doesn't work, you can add "like you used to be". She'll explode, and you say NOTHING MORE, just weather it out and wait for rational to return.
Lionsmane8 2y ago
I once had a girl that thought it was ok not to shave her legs because she now had a bf.
Well, not only i was not her bf (in her dreams) but that "situationship" did not last much longer.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Would you PLEASE stop stealing my words before I get a chance to post? lol
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Type faster ;)
whytehorse2021 2y ago
F$cking laptop keyboard
Lone_Ranger 2 2y ago
You're going to have to be cruel to be kind. It sounds like sugar is the culprit here. I would watch 'That sugar movie' together with her. Its an eye opener. If she learnt how to cut sugar totally out of her life, and alcohol, she would be thin again. Sugar is poison.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
(how do I help her lose weight and develop healthier habits)?
Like others are pointing out here, you can only lead, you can't make her or change her. that's up to her.
do you live together? If yes, I'd say, I don't want to have this crap food (cookies/candy/cupcakes) in the house. That's a reasonable request. If you don't live together, that's a bit tougher.
Look, a lot of girls, once they land a guy and get comfortable, they well, get comfortable, and fat. Be honest with her if you haven't already. Tell her you want to have a healthy lifestyle. don't know your age, but the older you are the more important it is. Fitness and healthy eating/living. Is she on board with that. it's a roundabout way of saying you aren't attracted to fat chicks.
A lot of people don't like to work out and like to eat crap. Lot of young women can get away with this when young but then, in mid/late 20's start packing on pounds and start getting marshmellow like tone. It gets worse quickly.
Honestly, dread is really the option, you pay less attention to her, you go out with guys more,etc. She either corrects it or doesn't care.
Note: even if she corrects this, what's to keep her from falling back into that trap if you both get more serious? I consider this a red flag.