So I train at this BJJ gym and have this sort of "friend group" consisting of me, this girl, and another guy. We ride back and forth from training together and also hang out frequently on the weekends. Anyways, I asked her out last week and got friendzoned. I reassured her that we would be friends and things would go back to normal, and they have for the most part. Now normally I would cut her off and ignore her if I ever see her but the thing is that the guy in the friend group gives us rides, so I can't exactly ignore her. I've been a little cold and distant to her ever since, but I dont know if this is the right move. How should I conduct myself around her?
Also she invited me and the guy friend to go bar hopping with her and one of her friends, I'm trying to decide if going would be the best move. I can probably use her and her friend as social proof to pick up some girls, but at the same time, I don't want to give her free attention after getting friendzoned.
Vermillion-Rx about a month ago
Live your life. Treat her like any friendly stranger that's being polite to you
Pursue other women
This whole thing doesn't need to be complicated, a girl rejecting you shouldn't shift your life around
You're reacting like a girl you dated for a year just broke up with you and now you have to act different in public
Lone_Ranger about a month ago
Perfect response by Vermillion. You don't need to feel 'rejected' by her and have a hissy fit (men do not behave like toddlers when they don't get what they want, that's what women do). You gave it a shot, just play on as if nothing had happened.
re. the question of whether to go bar hopping with her and some friends - 100% do that. You don't need to be cold to her or ignore her.
The one caveat I would add to this is that it can be quite tricky to have a girl as a 'friend' because women tend to want all sorts of priveledges just for being female . So try and ignore her gender when you are being her friend - does she expect you to pick her up and never pick you up? Does she expect you to pay for shit? You'd never tolerate that in a guy friend, so don't tolerate it from a friend that is a girl. If a girl wants to 'friends' she's going to have to do the things that friends do, which is not be a leech.
But women find that really hard. They see a guy, friend or boyfriend, and they think 'Oh great, there's somebody to pay for everything, solve all my problems, do things for me ....and I won't have to do anything in return"
Friend does not equal servant.
Lionsmane8 about a month ago
Ignoring is one thing you can do. You have to be decisive with girls. Walowing in the middle is what gets you friendzoned. Be polarizing and pursue other women.
whytehorse2021 about a month ago
Use her for pre-selection. Take her to a bar and all the other women will think you are alpha because you're already with a chick. Then hit on other women.
JCantell about a month ago
Treat her like an associate.