So I got trapped into dating a single mom. At the beginning, I thought she was great. Witty with great humour. A six but with excellent sex and quite feminine.
Over the course of our relationship, she slowly revealed that she has a son and that she is depressed. Honestly, she has a shit family and had some bad things happen to her that was not entirely her fault. Because of her family history, she is also bad with money.
I don't know if anyone of you has ever dated a depressed person but the main thing that bothers me is that it starts to affect myself. I have been going through some stuff lately but it's always about her and her problems. So I am coming home from a stressful day and I am getting more stress and worry from her (we do not live together tho). I know that a man needs to live with his problems and not bother someone else or vent, but it would be great not to have to deal with another person's problems on top.
Obviously, I have the usual concerns that she will harm herself or something like that if I leave her.
Bonus points because I gave her an STD that I did not know I had at that time (100% certain it was me). I offered to pay the treatment (pretty affordable) for the rest of her life as I DO feel bad about this sort of slip. (wrap it up gents, they are extremely common).
Lone_Ranger 3 3y ago
Every guy I know would say 'get out while the going is good'.
The earlier you eject the better for you and for her.
Her not telling you that she had a son is all we need to know. That is not something you forget about.
[deleted] 3y ago
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TheAurora 3y ago
nah, "just" an infection
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Do you have a kid with her or any kind of legally binding obligations? If no how are you trapped?
Dxmx99 3y ago
I'm guessing feelings
whytehorse2021 3y ago
He didn't know she was a single mom until after he LTR'd her probably.
TheAurora 3y ago
yes, she revealed it after "being exclusive". Unfortunately many girls are a bit manipulative like that
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Bait and switch. Demote to plate. Recreational use only.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
You're not her therapist. She needs to be going to a therapist if she's depressed. As soon as I saw "single mother" my immediate instinct is to say GET OUT. There really is no upside here for you. You're essentially being cucked into raising another man's child. You can give her the suicide hotline number if you're worried about that.
MrSupreme 3y ago
Problem with depressed women is that the only way they deal with it is by making everyone else just as miserable as them, instead of rationally working her way out of the vicious cycle (workout,pray,meditate,read,enjoy a hobby)
dongking 3y ago
Depressed, lied about being a single mom and using you as an emotional tampoon?
Sounds like a catch man. Why haven't you put a ring on it yet?
TheAurora 3y ago
Honestly, the drama is definitely the worst thing. She wouldn't even stop when I had an important client meeting or when I was saying my day didn't go well. Should add it's a Latina, so she needs drama to survive.
I will aim for demotion and then a soft exit. I definitely wasn't the best person in this relationship either (feel bad about giving her an STD).
dongking 3y ago
Sounds like a solid exit strategy. Even the beta-exit can be a good choice for the more crazy chicks.
[deleted] 3y ago
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Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
Depressed people, people with mental health problems , especially ones that are (external = visible, impact those around them), are huge red flags.
They'll bring you down.
You can't fix them, only they can.
WTF, you got exclusive and she didn't tell you she had a kid prior to that conversation? How does that happen , without her being manipulating the relationship?
TheAurora 3y ago
She actually only told me she had a kid a couple of weeks after we got exclusive lol
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
she's a real honest up front type of girl , sarc
immediate demotion to plate at best, if she's taking care of you. tough to gain that trust back, she's shown the opposite.