(32m) been seeing this girl (33f) since July, she rushed into relationship in September (being monogamous etc). Everything have been amazing, no shit or comfort tests. Almost always made her cum. I always acted cool, masculine, not needy, but caring for her, talking to her, listening to her, understanding her. She was into me at all times, until the very last moments today (holding my hand, kissing etc).
In November she found a dating app on my phone, which really soured things. I explained to her that it was just purely swiping to relax after stressful day at work, and not even messaging matches. She understood and forgiven me. I deleted the app then and there. Things have quickly gotten back to normal. But since the new year things have started to cool down a bit. Basically she's been struggling to regain trust for me ever since that incident with dating app and got tired of feeling / suspecting that I may be talking to other girls. According to her, this due to how she's been treated in the past (betrayed) and I haven't been great at texting her (busy with side hustle, work, etc, but also don't wanna text too much to come off as too needy, beta, blue pill etc). Fast forward.... She's been crying for the last two hours and cuddlling, feeling sorry that she can't help herself to regain trust in me. I asked her how she feels about me, she said she has caring feeling, finds me very sexually attractive, I make her laugh etc. We get along well, and comfortable just chilling in a Caffe and not talking all the time.
Must mention she is on her period right now, it's been a year since she got dumped in a very nasty way, and a year since her grandad passed away. She's definitely emotional right now.
She been pretty damn honest all the time. I never caught her lying. Maybe it's oneties, but she really is a humble and kind human being, stands out by a mile compared to any other girl I met in my life. So her trust issues, and as a result, bearing that emotional suffering from suspecting me looking out there for better options, is the reason she decided to end things. I explained to her that I'm cool with her decision but it's sad, and it's silly reason to end things. We should stop texting from now on but she can reach out to me if she's in a dark place. I cried a bit after she left but generally I'm fine. I've been through much worse (before I got redpilled).
Question 1: Do you think she's made an irrational decision and will want to get back with me?
Question 2: Surely I can trust what she's saying? Or the sad and ugly realty is that she lied to me and actually she just doesn't get the tingles now?
drkb 3y ago
You got dumped. Who cares why or ehat haooens after. Shouldnt have spent a second thinking about it. Jist say ok and.move on. Beta vibes. Also beya for dating 1y older than him when youre in your 30s already.
apeman 3y ago
Whys it beta to date someone older?
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No-Stress-Cat 2 3y ago
Trust issues are the worst. Lack of trust become jealousy. Jealousy becomes accusations. If you're even looking at another woman you want to fuck her. If you say hi to the checkout girl at the grocery store you want to fuck her. If she has a mother/sister/daughter/cousin/niece you want to fuck them too. Fuck that drama. Like Lionsmane said, she did you a favor.
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Durek_The_Bald 3y ago
My guess is she lost the tingles. Here are some indicators as to why:
And you offered up no resistance.
Making her cumming the metric of your sex life. How submissive of you.
Does not compute with anything you wrote here. Everything's about her perspective, seeing things through her eyes. Lots of "she" and "her", very little "I" and "me". You're in her frame, not the other way around.
DEER.
Thank God the judge of you understood, and you immediately submitted to the sentencing.
1) tingles 2) short of other options
"Alpha widowed" is the term translated from womaneze. Simply by not doing the same thing, you'll be her Billy Beta.
Look, there's a reason why we say some women are for the streets. A telltale sign of that is that they've "been betrayed", "been emotionally abused", or have other victimhood stories from past encounters. Doesn't mean they aren't nice people, simply means they aren't LTR material.
It may sound counterintuitive at face value, but what you want is positive stories from past relationships and encounters - if at all.
Tingles. And yes, it probably sucks for her that she can't. So the crying is probably real, just not over what you think.
I thought you said you didn't act needy.
What she says is irrelevant. Look at what she does, which is dumping you.
All of them buffers to stop yourself from looking in the mirror.
Like I said, being for the streets doesn't mean they aren't good people. It only means she expects to get pumped and dumped, because that's her experience. And if you aren't doing that too, then you're not a real man in her eyes, and short of options. That's why you don't LTR women who tell you negative stories about the men in her past.
You're handling the dumping well, I'll give you that.
Rationality doesn't come into it. She might come back, but you would be better off looking forwards, not backwards. There are always better women for you out there.
You ain't from around here, are ya, boy?
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Durek_The_Bald 3y ago
"Truly evil people" are extremely rare. Usually, stories like that are just an expression of someone refusing to see their own part in how things played out. Not introducing her to friends, not texting back etc. doesn't constitute a "truly evil person". It sounds more like guy looking for sex, and her obliging because she hoped it would lead to commitment. But obliging is on her and her only.
Same thing with "dumped in a very nasty way". That's classic womaneze for having been dumped at all. It's a blow to their ego, so they'll look for ways he did it "wrongly". If it's over text, then he should've done it face-to-face. If it's face-to-face he shouldn't have met up with her just to dump her. And there may be mean things that are said and done towards the end of a "relationship" (or whatever). But a mature person moves past it, and sees it in its context in retrospect.
I don't doubt that she's a good person, but she also sounds like the typical damaged woman who avoids all responsibility for her own actions and choices, and then adopts the victimhood mindset when things don't turn out how she wanted.
It's not as simple as that. It totally depends if you are the pursuer of other options (unattractive), or if you're being pursued (attractive). You being on a dating app is you actively pursuing, acting thirsty.
It's like the old "flirting with the waitress" thing you often see popping up in the red pill sphere: It's not attractive (to your GF) if you're the one initiating the flirting, it's only attractive if the waitress is initiating it with you, and you then responding.
I don't think the thing with the dating app is really where things started to go downhill. Rather, it started from the very beginning with you going along with rushing into a relationship. Already there you gave out huge signs of thirstyness, and lacking options. Same with hanging out with her all the time.
I mean, has she ever really had to work for your time and attention? I think not. And that makes your time and attention seem less valuable (supply and demand and all that). So it seems you had already established yourself as her beta way before she saw the app on your phone. And women do not accept any shenanigans like that from their beta. They might from their alpha though.
P.S. Terms like "alpha" and "beta" used for simplicity.
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Durek_The_Bald 3y ago
I bet you they were at least half-truths.