Basically, my friends don't respect me. They never call, they never text me, they just send stupid snapchat pics and thats it. I never get invited out anywhere. It's been like this my whole life. Eventually, I started going out by myself and having fun but I havent since Halloween. It's pretty damn cold where I'm at right now.
Theres this one guy who simply stopped acknowledging my existence even when I send him memes or things to talk about. He and I share friends. One day, I decieded to block him. After a while, he and I had a lengthy phone conversation because he told one of our buddies that he wanted to be friends with me again and for me to unblock him. During the conversation, he tells me that he struggles with porn addiction. I think that was his way of blaming him ignoring me. He also went on to say that he really isn't a "social person". I took his word for it. I unblocked him, and things went BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE. He actually just sent me a pic like 15 minutes ago of him at some guys house with a bunch of dudes standing around and sitting down on their phones. Not a girl in sight. "Not a social-person" my dick. Obviously, I didn't respond.
This year, I need to make more friends. I need GOOD friends. Not the same losers and deadbeats that smoke weed daily and play video games and don't go to school. I need a social upgrade. I want to make big changes in 2023. Maybe I need some advice on making friends. But not only that, I need to know how to get them to respect me. Too often, I'm the "voice of reason" in my friend group but no one listens to me. I always feel like I'm the least cared about person.
Should I simply block all of them and grind hard in 2023?
Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago
Seems to me that you need to cut them out, find things that make you happy, and go from there.
My friends are centered around my interests, not the other way around, which is why my friends respect me - I'm a whole man without them or their approval, and my presence adds value.
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User4566 2y ago
How?
whytehorse2021 2y ago
You need to watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_KLe-q2Ivo
Yes it's 4hrs but it's worth it.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
They're not your friends if they don't respect you. Think about it.
MrSupreme 2y ago
You answered your own question stating what you want to accomplish next. Time for a social upgrade then, kick some ass
User4566 2y ago
I guess the problem is: where and how do I start? Red pill forums like this are great when discussing how to improve dating/sex life but not soo much in the man-to-man friendship department.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
That's a broad-ass statement if I've ever seen one. Not every Red Pilled male is a socially retarded outcast.
If you wanna make new friends just put yourself out there. It really is that simple. Do things that interest you - whatever they happen to be, and then you meet friends through that. Quality friends who you share interests with, and then through time you develop those friendships and make the bonds tighter becoming actual bros.
For me personally, I'm a musician/drummer. So meeting people is easy, and I've made so many friends doing this. Being good at what you're interested in helps a lot too - kind of makes you an alpha in that world, so to speak. Even if you're not quite there yet, but you're actively pursuing excellence in whatever it is you're doing, that's noble, people will notice this and naturally respect it.
Learn to veto people early though, and have the strength to walk away. The beauty of life is that you can pick and choose who your friends are.
Boosted_Arrow 2y ago
I mean he's right tho. I've the same problem and asked a few times, but the advice ... well there's not really good advice around. Or even the same depth of knowledge that we have of 'women's nature'. Having friends and a good social network are also an important part for being attractive to women.
kind of makes you an alpha in that world, so to speak. Well that doesn't work for everyone. I have a second degree blackbelt in martial arts and no one cares (people inside or outside of the club).
The beauty of life is that you can pick and choose who your friends are. They also have to 'choose' you.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I think you guys are just on the wrong forum. The Red Pill is a bit of an echo chamber anyway most of the time, but there are a few guys out there who have more of a depth knowledge and actual real world experience - they're not just acting like they know it all from their mum's basement. You guys should hit up the Red Pill subreddit and ask there. Although, it's not a typically a place to ask questions, it's becoming more acceptable to do so there since the banishment of r/asktrp.
If you can't find it, let me know and I'll link it here.
Boosted_Arrow 2y ago
Yesn't, I mean sure all the guys here have a similar mindset and push therefore similar ideas. But those are well-established points among the whole community.
I've seen similar question on the subreddit. But those people there are more or less the same as here, well actually there they are a lil bit more 'boomer-like'. Also I've already said the Red-Pill community doesn't really have any advide on this male-friendship topic, even though it's quite important. Especially for those that are struggling. I think the community has to look more at this problem and maybe analyze the guys that suffer from it.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 2y ago
tbh bro I used to be socially awkward as a kid. kind of a reject if you will and ik what this feels like. overtime I became a class clown, started making friends w the “popular” kids. Eventually they also rejected me bc I wasn’t deemed “cool” enough bc I couldn’t afford vans. hurt my feelings ngl but I said fuck em and started doing my own thing.
started getting invited to parties from the rich kid hs and I was a huge hit w the ladies. soon as the “cool” kids from my hs (who imo are a bunch of lames) started noticing I was always partying w dimes, they started blowing my shit up begging me to take em to those parties/begging me to bring girls to their shitty sausage fest parties lol.
I kept that same energy of doing my own thing in college and I met hella ppl. the ones I vibed with; I became friends with. The ones I didn’t vibe with; I dropped. joining a fraternity helped me come out of my shell a lot - up until then I never really had a lot of close friendships w ppl.
After dropping out, my second try at college I wasn’t even focused on partying or making friends; I was more focused on grades and selling as much pot as I could. befriended a lot of ultra wealthy kids from India and they’re some of my best friends to this day. But they graduated and I lived by myself so my social life went really downhill… but my Snapchat stories were always lit. I was always doing cool shit, going to nice places, buying expensive shit. One of my other best friends was actually a custie first lol but he kept trying to chill n smoke w me; eventually we started hanging out and boom we became best friends.
He got suspended from school and I was sad bc I was gonna be on my own… but nope. Frequented the bars, always was seen around hot chicks and boom cool dudes wanted to be friends w me. Hell I’m not even in a frat but all the top frat dudes at my school ALWAYS hmu to party lol. I have a very rich social life now; like ppl constantly hmu to do shit to the extent that I find myself saying nah frequently haha.
Getting back to you though… hate to break it to ya but if your “boys” aren’t hitting you up to bool they’re not your boys. they probably view you as annoying or some shit… there’s almost always a kid in every group that nobody wants to be there. Maybe you’re terrible w women, maybe you’re awkward, have shitty jokes etc etc idk. Or maybe even just the ppl you’re around suck.
My advice: focus on improving yourself. With time, you’ll find that the ppl that wanna be a part of your life will gravitate towards you… you don’t gotta look for bros; they will find you. I mean it’s damn near same w chicks too. But like ya go to gym get big. Work hard, make enough cash money to live a baller lifestyle (without going broke; always make sure you’re stacking up more than what you’re spending). Do cool shit… frequent boujee restaurants. Make yourself the fucking man and live a life that people would wanna be a part of - you’ll be surprised at how many chicks are gonna be throwing themselves at you and how many dudes are gonna wanna be your friend.
Once you do that your main problems will be learning how to read ppl… discerning which hoe to fuck, which chick it’s safe to catch feels for, and which dudes are losers that you should not associate yourself with/which dudes are winners that will continue to compound your gainz as a person. Much love king
Boosted_Arrow 2y ago
if your “boys” aren’t hitting you up to bool they’re not your boys
Happens to me constantly. The people I spend most time with at the uni or sports club don't acknowledge me that much, so they never invite me when they do stuff. I don't know why, but I really wanna know.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 2y ago
Either don’t know you well enough or there’s something off ab you.
I’ve observed this myself; both in other ppl and in myself. My roommate ie is a nice dude.. but also major “white knight” vibes, has legos in his room @ 23 years old, and *supposedly 4 or 5 girls on his body count. Has seen a single girl once the entire semester and did not fuck. He’s also kinda annoying like massive mooch… probably asked if he can borrow/use something of mine no less than 3000 times this sem…. And always asks to hit my chicks vape lol. His whole frat strongly dislikes him bc he doesn’t pick up on social cues. Nice dude… but he’s just cringe. You wouldn’t wanna show up to the bars w him in your entourage bc it’d lower your social status.
If you lack the qualities required to pull chicks (charisma/“vibes”/likeability/fitness/etc) you’re probably going to lack the qualities that garner the respect of your peers. Hard to be friends w someone ya don’t respect right?
This isn’t to put u down. Just work on yourself. Get big, get paid, and spend time going out. If you’re 21 go to bars, get drunk. If not go to parties n get drunk. If you’ve got no friends to go parties w; start asking these guys you spend time w “hey random question but do you guys know of any parties tn/this weekend/etc”. Get with girls. Show up to parties w girls. This all boosts your social status and as your social status goes up the ease with which you’ll make friends goes up. Eventually your crowd will find you. Gl king
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
This is normal. Men hang out with a very close friend group, noone else gets invited.
You need to LEAD. Only when YOU start inviting friends out, when YOU start to actively lead social situations will you understand what you have been doing wrong.
blocking is just petty
sounds like he has a shitty life, why do yo want to be invited to be part of that?
Great. BE A GREAT FRIEND........ and quietly move on from the losers.
Respect yourself, be independent. Speak loudly. Take no shit from people. Stand for something.
Noone cares about most people, get used to it.
Grind hard...... but don't block them...... that's petty weak shit. Get better options for yourself, then enjoy the best options.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
If his friends are as deadbeat as he says they are, then I honestly believe the reason for them not listening to him, nor care about him being the voice of reason is because OP represents change to them. He's here on this forum, so obviously he's looking to change. Losers don't like change.
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Einsamer 2y ago
I think here's your problem. You should NOT be the voice of reason. I hope you don't talk about TRP? If so STOP DOING THAT. And in general, people don't want to hear your advice, so spare them. If you REALLY want to give good advice to a friend, show them with actions not words.
Just do fun stuff and invite people to come with you, be easy going with them and over time that will do the job.
Durek_The_Bald 2y ago
Personally, I've never had much patience for potential male friends who act like they're my girlfriend. I'm talking about stuff like keeping score over who called when, who likes who the most, checking if you're hanging with someone else without them etc. It's very needy, very tiresome, and honestly very girly. On top of that, I can see how someone seeing themselves as "the voice of reason" towards their friends gets real old real quick.
My advice would be to be less needy, and let things flow more naturally. Also, conversation and general communication is 50% about listening, not about being right or thinking you have a monopoly on "reason". Your friends have their own lives and perspectives too, you know. If you genuinely think they're such losers, and that isn't just some form of self defence mechanism, then drop them in stead of trying to change them.
Bulba 2y ago
Here are a few ideas if you want to add high-value men to your network:
Martial arts
Join a shooting club
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 2y ago
Time for some introspection.
are you worthy of respect? Respect is earned and not something one receives by default.
are you really "the voice of reason", or are you insufferable and annoying?
Did they stop inviting you because you declined invitations too many times (this has been my problem a few times over the years; say "no" enough, and people stop asking), or did they stop inviting you because of reasons related to the previous bullet point?
keeping score of who called whom, as well as who did what with whom, is very petty and girly. Do you act this petty and girly with them?
blocking is lame, and should be reserved for psycho exes who won't leave you alone.
No-Stress-Cat 2y ago
Pick up a hobby. Get really into it. Learn everything about it. Join a club. Make new friends.
Boosted_Arrow 2y ago
I've the same problem and I've been chatting with some guys to figure out what to do about it.
Would you be down for a chat on discord? (I'll hit you up in the DMs)