Im the dumper, I broke up with an ex a while back. I was thinking about her the other day when she contacted me a few weeks ago, and apologized for everything and said she wanted me back, but that she was finishing her last semester of college and will be back in town in February if I wanted to talk and get back together. I still missed her, so I kind of gave a "Well see when you get back, but Im open to getting back together" type of response, and she was excited. I usually never do this, but it is a life circumstance issue where its not possible: her being in college in another state, me living in the city we met.
I heard its bad to let an ex know they can "get you back" anytime they want, but this is a little different? Im still dating around, and will continue to do so. Shes not asking for my exclusivity or long distance. Shes not asking for attention (texting every day). Im not really investing anything here, besides keeping the door open in February. I can continue being single and hooking up with my plates I have now. If she doesnt come, its as if nothing happened.
In a way, Im treating her as my back up-plan. But if everything goes according to plan, and we get back together in February, Im OK with that. If i meet a better girl until then, Ill probably flake out on the ex. Im also open to the possibility that she will flake out on me, but thats why im not emotionally investing or getting any hopes up.
Thoughts? I feel like mature daters keep good terms with ex's and these are the ones who usually have access to them. Its inexperienced daters that want to burn every bridge.
Problematic_Browser 1 3y ago
No.
You never get back with an ex, even the "good" ones
No-Stress-Cat 1 3y ago
No. There's a reason she's your ex. That reason is still there. That's why women try to change men, because women don't change. They only get worse. There's no such thing as a (good) ex, so stop oneitising.
gr8bollos 3y ago
We broke up because she went to school and I didnt want long distance.
No-Stress-Cat 1 3y ago
What's she apologizing for? Did she do something while you were apart? And stop oneitising. This chick is going to be your downfall, brother. Plate at best. And fuck other women for crying out loud.
gr8bollos 3y ago
Bc we were in a 2 year relationship and we both agreed that school wasnt necessary. She has a bachelors already for nursing but she changed careers into a 1 year cosmetic degree. I told her not to do it, you are wasting your college degree and that you can just do the 2-year cosmetic course in our city and stay together. She eventually sided with her mom who told her to do the school and relationship 2nd.
She chose to be a "career wymen"... other then that a good girlfriend whos parents got involved in her life, told her put the relationship second if im not supporting her or whatever. But it wasnt that, i just thought she shouldve done it locally, instead of expedited in an other state
She said she regrets not staying home and doing the course locally, and for choosing her career and moms decision over "us"
If you read my OP I am fucking other girls. Weve been separated for almost a year now.
Einsamer 3y ago
What else should she say. You can contact her again and spin her as a plate, but that's it. The same problems will happen again if you get together. How do I know? I made the same mistake...
gr8bollos 3y ago
I mean, maybe not? Its kind of a unicorn situation. You only go to college or some accredited school once or twice in life, usually. And we have a hardline on what happened last time...
But if you meant her mom, then sure. Its possible she can listen to her moms advice in the future. But cant think of any circumstances where that would break us up. Her mom likes me, but she is just a career wymen.
LL369 3y ago
You were clearly not her top priority, now that she done what she wanted to, and she's coming back home, she can acommodate you in as well. But how long untill she finds something else that's more worthy of her attention than you?