Therapy.

The thing is I got totally knocked out emotionally. It's like I got paralysed I can not live with myself if I don't do anything but no matter how hard I try, I freeze.

You are sexually attracted to a peak SMV girl. However you're you are mis-attributing your sexual arousal for fear, causing a fight or flight reaction. This also happens to victims of trauma (who want to have sex with their kidnapper) and is known scientifically: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misattribution_of_arousal

To you it probably happens because of autism, means the part of the brain handling voluntary motor control, social interactions and sexual arousal isn't functioning properly. But the good news is: That can be fixed.

The first thing to do for you is hitting the gym. This is where you start with basic motor control, which will benefit everything including circulation. Better circulation means better brain function. Then you need to eat properly, because eating shit won't make it work properly.

Next stage is to get into the actual brain gym. That doesn't mean sitting in front of a screen studying shit, like it means:

MOTOR SKILLS

Coordinating complex motor control with different parts of brain to train the shit out of the things your brain is lacking in: social skills, and arousal. But the access is through motor control. You have various ways to get there: You can pick up a sport like shooting guns, billiard or golf, you can get into practicing musical instruments, or get into a trade. Anything that requires challenging motor control is helpful training the part of the brain, that makes you function socially. Yes, that's right, once you improve there, your processing of social cues will improve as well, including sexual arousal.

Only being glued to a screen and and hacking a keyboard all day is counterproductive. At this point you probably realized, that the career path society chose for you isn't the one that will make you happy and is even healthy for you. You need to get into doing stuff with your hands.

Get her number. I like to just walk up to women and say "Hey I know we just met and this is kinda awkward but I was wondering if you wanna run away together, get married, and have a bunch of kids?".

Youre fucked bro. Not going anywhere. Youre already "in love" and shes only a crush im assuming you havent even went on a proper date or had sex.

Youre still fucked even if you only had sex a few times and shes "the one".. Your levels behind that.

It takes so much more than just sex for a girl to properly qualify as wifey. Like, years of top tier behavior, is the ideal. It sounds like a reach, but there are guys dating girls for a long time and they are good girls who display this consistently over time.

You need to ask her out ASAP. Make her a fwb and promote from there, keep her there for at minimum a year, which is arguably still too short, but acceptable, before you throw the wife card around.

First, I get that you wanted to remove women from your view until your were done with your grind (school), that is your goal to complete your masters.

but, look, you have to get experience with women along the way. there has to be low effort periods during your school where you have time to go have fun. I don't mean get a real girlfriend, i'm talking about plates, having fun flirting with girls, experiencing girls. Maybe you were doing this, it's not clear. But, I hope so.

you are 27, you need GF experience also, If for only, not falling into Looove, the first time a girl love bombs you. You have to get experience in this to see through that. Especially since you seem to want a family at some point, so you need to practice your picker (selection process). IMO, of course, others may disagree.

If you have interest in this girl, make a move. Don't be afraid or whatever, just be cool, calm and make a move.

Did or has she shown interest in you? Signs of interest? If yes, make a move dude. If no, give it a shot, worst thing is she say's no? right?

Now, don't think about marriage and blah blah. Have fun with her. The only thing you are doing is having fun, and getting to know her. You should have a list of items for vetting, if this girls fun, you like, start going through the list and see if she's passing. Take your time, months and months of it. There's no rush, if she's in a rush, let her find someone else. There's always more.

So, get experience, make a move, have fun (that's the goal right now), that's it for now.