Lets say a bar/ nightclub/ any party setting. I never know what to do and I end up standing around, smiling awkwardly like a weirdo even if she starts the conversation with complimenting me. What am I supposed to do to actually get anything out of this? The furthest I ever went was a kiss after about 25 minutes of us just awkwardly standing/ dancing around and she said "come on, lets just kiss". I'm a 21 year old handholdless virgin.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Run the same game you would a girl you approached, except easier and with less steps or shorter step than normal
If she's insanely easy when she approaches you, throw out some token game to at least show you're trying when you both know what's up anyway. I've had that happen before actually, so I'm not just saying it
asadguy 3y ago
I don't approach girls, so I wouldn't know. I also don't know what's "insanely easy". I guess i'm bad at reading the situation correctly. Usually they're initially pretty excited to talk to me, but get bored as time goes on.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
A girl once turned me down for a dance. Two hours later she came up to me, immediately hugged on me, and tried making out with me.
I said "I'm gonna close my tab" and then I came back and said "I'm ready to leave". She walked out with me. I literally didn't do shit except get rejected by her before and politely accepting her rejection.
That's how you know when it's "insanely easy". When you don't have to do anything and she's just DTF for no reason. I gave this girl token small talk but I didn't even run game. The extent of my game was literally getting turned down by her earlier in two seconds and then walking away.
[deleted] 3y ago
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asadguy 3y ago
Well, the name for someone that did absolutely nothing with a girl is generally "KHHV". And i've eliminated two letters from that. But still, getting one kiss is something that an 11 year old can maybe brag about. I did that at 18 and got nothing since.
Positive-Lifeguard80 3y ago
LOL at these American Blue Pill metrics. As a young adult I had sex long before any kissing and hand-holding happened. When a horny girl invites you to her place, you just undress her and get to business.
You don't go "hugging" or "bases". What the fuck. Who teaches this bullshit to men?
asadguy 3y ago
I'm not American.
Positive-Lifeguard80 3y ago
So who taught you this?
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
First off, stop referring to yourself as a "handholdless virgin". The way you think and speak about yourself matters, and those terms dont define you. They're unimportant.
Party settings with loud music can be a pain if you dont know how to communicate well. Most of communication will be non verbal. First try to lower your expectations. Accept that you arent great at it right now, and work to be more comfortable in your own skin. There's nothing wrong with you, so lower your guard, stop smiling all the time like you're trying to disarm a robber, and just be cool.
For most of us who werent naturally gifted with good game we improve faster when we do some reading and practicing. Mostly to rid ourselves of bad social programming stemming from blue pill society. A lot of it comes down to being more in tune with your masculinity.
The forum has a sidebar with recommended articles. Just pick and choose what seems the most relevant. If you struggle finding something, just ask.
User4566 3y ago
Don't put any pressure on yourself. I know that's going to be very tough to do, but when I was a virgin, I put A LOT of pressure on myself when it came to women and sex. I had very high expectations of what sex was because all I knew about sex was from porn and my friends who would lie about the crazy monkey sex they had with total 10/10 and how they lasted for hours blah blah blah.
I know you feel like crap because of the virginity and to be honest, a lot of people our age (I'm 23) are virgins because the dating scene is very competitive now with the integration of social media and dating apps. Best thing I can tell you is: start cold approaching on college campus if you go to college. What do you do in this situation? HAVE FUN. Get a few shots in you and do the chicken dance like a retard, as long as you're having fun.
asadguy 3y ago
Thanks for the reply. But honestly, I don't see the "men are having way less sex than before, women are more picky" etc play out in real life. I constantly see men getting with girls above their league and I don't see how dating apps have anything to do with that. I think by my age most virgins are virgins because they want to be. I don't know anyone excepted for the biggest socially inept weirdos who didn't lose their virginity in their teens.
Also, I made it a rule for myself not to approach girls. And even if I did, I fuck it up when they approach me when i'm drunk at a bar, So i'd have no chance.
User4566 3y ago
Take it from me: don't pick up girls at bars and clubs unless you're rich
asadguy 3y ago
Why not? I don't understand.
User4566 3y ago
A lot of women in that environment know that guys are only there to fuck. Let's be real: what fucking guy actually LIKES going out to some place that blasts shitty music and has lights going around. I guarantee you that if women stopped going to nightclubs and bars, men would too in a heartbeat.
That being said, a lot of women have a "bitch-shield" up. They act like bitches to every guy because they don't want to hook up. Women also go there for attention and to be gazed at by other guys. The guys who usually pull bitches in this scenerio are guys who have money, they pull up in a nice car and wear expensive clothes. Then they pull chicks that think they found the perfect "beta-bucks" who will pay for their every want. Which is why I'm saying to use women's hypergamy against them once you're financially free and can afford to get dressed up and have your own place etc.
Now to answer the question on what to do or say with women, it's OKAY to feel nervous and not in the mood. I've had girls come up to me at concerts and ask for my name or some interation. It was usually low effort, but I ignored them because I am not something you can pick up off the ground and keep. I was not in the mood. So it's ok for you to feel the same.
If you ARE in the mood and are comfortable with these girls (I know you're not) then of course, have fun and don't act so serious all the time. You don't have to be the smooth-talking James Bond here. Ask her what her favorite dinosaur is. Fuck it! You're out to have FUN and not be stressed out about what the "perfect script" is. Fuck a script. She either takes you or not. You can find another piece of ass in less than 5 seconds.
asadguy 3y ago
Well, I definitely don't look rich and most of the people i'm around aren't either since they're all in their late teens, early 20s. I usually get approached at least once each time I go clubbing by a woman who's clearly interested in me physically. But it never goes anywhere because i'm completely socially inept. I doubt they want my non-existent money though lol.
User4566 3y ago
Ask if she's ever seen chicken run lmao
It sounds like you have a social problem and need to talk to more people to get more comfortable and better with talking to people. I was there once, I still am a little bit but whatever. What I did to get better was literally talk to more people. You'll realize that you're not the only one who can suck with conversations and it's actually common. With that being said, don't be so hard on yourself.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Oh that's easy... you just put your dick in her.
asadguy 3y ago
I think that'd be inappropriate to do in a public area, without her consent... Might get me in some trouble.