(Sorry for my bad english)
Im a 24 year old male and I just hate it when someone would call me by something that isnt my name. Sometimes the nicknames are inocennt but sometimes just in the way some one says it, you know he is trying to get a reaction out of you.
I can mostly brush it off and not react to it, but I had a bad experiance with nicknames in highschool. I transfered schools in my second year and was a new kid in class. At the start of the year it was going okay, I wasnt really friends with my classmates but we were cool. But then one day someone calls me by a nickname and the nickname wasnt even degrading by itself, it was just the way he said it that would iritate me. Long story short in a month alomost all classmates started calling me by this nickname. I didnt really had the guts to stand up for myself. I think even if I would I would only make it worse. Instead of doing anything about it I just made sure I was rarely in the spotlight. Which meant I had almost no fun in highschool.
After highschool I got my shit together. Going to the gym regulary, traning martial arts, got some really good friends and a girlfriend. But there are some instances when someone would just call me by some nickname and I cant help it but to think that the situation from highschool days would repeat.
What would you do in such situations?
Slimeverb 1y ago
How do you externally react? Not as in how you feel, how do others see you react? Do they see you clearly bothered, because they’re only gonna see that is a way to get a reaction and continue doing it.
If you want them to stop, then simply don’t react. Internally and externally. Don’t feel bothered, but also don’t show them that you’re bothered. All groups of people will do this to a level (essentially a shit-test) and if you pass; they’ll respect you enough to stop.
This is assuming you want to be their friend. If you see no value in befriending them, then simply ignore them. Find some friends that will make you a better person.
mobius345 1y ago
Thank you for your comment.
Normally I would just smile, pretend it doesnt bother me and continue with the conversation.
In a recent event like this a coworker called me by a nickname that she just made up. Every time she said it I just smiled and ignored it. But she kept at it for a while and one day she called me by that nickname in front of some other coworkers Im good friend with and I just reacted by saying something preety insulting and continue having a conversation with everyone like nothing happened. Havent heard that nickname since.
So my understanding is that i should normally ignorw this shit tests and if the other person keeps doing it I should react and put them in their place.
But the thing I dont know how to handle is if this nickname catches on and everyone starts calling me like this. Its exactly what happened in my highschool years.
This situations happen mostly at work so Im meeting this people almost every day. I dont wanna change my job just because someone decides to call me by a nickname
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Guys shit test guys all the time. Many beta guys take it as bullying. Just throw the shit right back at them so they know you're not a bitch. Ridicule reframes are particularly helpful in bantering with other guys, who relish in the verbal violence and ensuing laughter it can inspire. In relation to the shit test at the beginning of this section: “I bet you’re single because your face looks like a 9/11 crash site “
https://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/