Since the dawn of TRP we have stated the importance of building a tribe of men. To my understanding that's male friendships with bromance and loyalty, basically the ideal of going to the trenches for each other. But we live in a broken, highly materialistic society, so I wonder how much of this is actually possible and if superficial friendships do not serve us more. I mean friendships mostly over common interests like music or hobbies, these cause significantly less drama and disappointment in my experience.

Let me tell you the tale of two friends that I've recently cut off.

Friend 1: ex military and ex criminal who wants to build a better life for himself and be legit. Like me, also into online business and travel. When we talk he talks a lot about himself and his struggles, the percentage is 90% him and 10% me. Doesn't really respond when I say something but says I'm a bad listener even though I always listen to all his stuff. (Another example: he sends me 15 min voice message. I reply and then send 20 seconds of how my day goes and don't get a reply). He's also borrowed money from me when he was in a tough spot but when he later had money again is extremely stingy. Generally money is a huge topic and almost like the only thing that interests this guy. He's also brought problems he had to my doorstep frequently.

The reason I cut the guy off is because of the dynamic with the chick he started to date. We met the chick while she was hooking up with another acquaintance mind you. She has a self proclaimed 200 cock milage and is a jaded career women almost 10 years older than the guy. She's very high maintenance and high drama and after 1 year they have a dead bedroom. They always fight when we go out together and seem to love it. Unstable personalities.

Keep in mind the guy is fairly attractive and we're in Latam. He could easily date a super hot and nice Latina but he chose the train wreck because the drama excites them both. He would even accept a dead bedroom because the drama is more important to him.

One day we went out with some friends and they fought again. Later the dude contacted me that the two of them were having a serious physical fight in the public street with both having black eyes, bleeding wounds etc. If you think that was the end of their relationship, no, it wasn't. They are still together.

Why cut this self proclaimed close friend off? I don't like violence, I don't like the drama all the time and I don't want to be part of these conflicts which could even have legal consequences.

Friend 2: I would call this guy an acquaintance. He's a soyjack, a bit of a loser in my eyes. We're in Latin America, so he went to Sinaloa and came back with a stunning hottie that's 10 years younger than him and completely dependent on him. He isolated her from her family because he's a complete egomaniac.

One day he messages me and says "Chick is unconscious since 8 AM". I immediately suspected him to be responsible. Ended up to be unconscious 10 hours and I really thought she won't make it. Thankfully she did. He says it was a suicide attempt but honestly as 10 years her senior it's his responsibility either way. Of course, they are still together even though she almost died.

Cut the guy off for making me be part of this by texting me (police would involve me automatically) and because I find men who can't protect their women deeply repulsive. This dude doesn't even seem to understand why I don't want to talk to him anymore.

Am I being too harsh? Going forward I will focus more on superficial friendships with other men and not build these bromances that are basically a gay relationship. Every time I let friends become too close they don't respect boundaries, want to change me in their image and take everything personally. This time, it even involved crime and violence.