Oh my experiences are perfect for this. On the outside I'm an athlete but really I'm more of a nerd and I'm part of many social groups however I'm not really "part" of them, more of a lonewolf with a few close friends that learned to be good at socializing. The first fear of other people knowing is one that you absolutely have to drop. This will prevent you from even getting your foot decently in the door, because you have to realize that there are so many other people pining for her, and if you give a fuck about what others think, your frame will be weak from the get go. I've managed to pull two bombshells on campus and we've been fwbs, and we run into other guys CONSTANTLY. You honestly have to not give a fuck, you need to pretend like you don't and don't mate guard if you are not a thing because they will drop you instantly. If you're talking about a pretty, popular chick, you can expect them to have their own plates and you have to let them fall for you, as soon as you pull too hard they will break.

As for the not good in bed part. Brother I will tell you now so you don't have to live with the PAINFUL soul-crushing regrets that I've had to deal with for the past few months. I had that same fear and never escalated with a former HB9 because of that same fucking fear. Even though she'd always end up in my bed or me in hers a few times, I never went for it beyond groping and making out because of that same fear. I'm over it now and getting over it felt like dying, that's how intensely I held onto that fear, but the regrets that came in from not escalating still haunt me to this day because of how hot she was and how much in the bag it was and how many opportunities I had. Just fucking go for it. Fucking hell.

1) the likelihood she's gonna spend a lot of time with you is slim. When you hang out, some will be one on one (obviously she is not gonna fuck you in front of all her friends unless that's her kink) but realistically speaking don't expect a ton of one-on-one, she's gonna balance her circle too

2) you can't be in said circle very deep. You have to be accepted AROUND it but don't get yourself accepted INTO it. You want to be able to show up and shoot the shit with the circle but don't be balls deep in the circle. If you're on the outskirts of the circle the only gossip about you will generally be positive or neutral

"Oh I like helpfulguy22, haven't seen him around, he comes with [girl's name] doesn't he, blah blah blah"

If you start getting balls deep in the group instead of periodic appearances, that's when people start asking questions and any mistakes you make become associated with the girl. If she or you ever gets upset in the circle people will add 2 and 2 together even if it's not your fault

3) as long as you don't get balls deep into a social circle and only get in with just the tip no one will give a shit about you. That's a good thing. If you're only on the edge of the group and likeable they will either not give a fuck what you do or will, if anything, like you.

I'm tangentially attached to numerous friend and social groups at my favorite venue. But I make it clear through my lack of commitment to hanging out with any one of them too too long that I am NOT PART of their group, I am just very cool with them. I'm like the group member that always gets away.

I'm Schrodinger's group member

My tendancy to bounce from one to another after 30 minutes frustrates them but in a good way. They relish my time. I also hit it off with some girls in them, I'm not involved enough to fuck up the group dynamics though. Even if I fucked a girl and it didn't go too well, their group would not be affected. I'd probably have to engage less but no one would really fault me for fucking one of them if I did

So in essence, no one will give a shit what you do as long as you're attractive about it and don't add drama. Also as long as you're just the tip inside and not balls deep inside the group you'll be further insulated from any BS or judgement.

So don't be intimidated by her large circle, just understand that she has more divided attention and you can't be getting too intertwined in it if you want to rail her brains out

Read 48 laws of power and Sex God Method. The laws of power aren't a guide on how to screw people over, they're a guide on how not to get screwed by other people. They cover all sorts of stuff like reputation, etc.

The only way to deal with this is to improve your social circle then you won't feel insecure. For example, I'm a college student, and I get intimidated by frat brothers (i'm not in a fraternity and growing up all the popular kids were white, athlete, etc.). But once I started fucking the girls they started fucking and once I realized how pathetic they are, I lost that insecurity.

Another example is status in society. When I meet a more succesful man, I feel insecure, but as I rise up myself, I lose that insecurity.

How can I beat this fear ?

7cups (free online therapy website)

actual therapy from a licensed professional (they might train you with CBT)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

Your fear is irrational so that's why you need therapy to overcome it.