I mean do you tell them this is a casual relationship upfront? Or is it better to play the guy looking for a LTR, then play along until the plate breaks?
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Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
If a girl asks, are you looking for a LTR. I usually tell her yes, I am, I'm in no rush to get into one, until a find the right girl.
You don't bring up the (what are we, what are you looking for), you let them bring that up.
What many girls don't realize is, they are good enough for sex, to have fun with. It doesn't mean they are worthy of your commitment.
You don't rush into a LTR or commitment, you vet them and over time you get an idea of their true personality, how they are like,etc.
That takes time.
I had many girls in casual relationships, most wanted more, they weren't worthy of it.
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benzino 3y ago
Thanks for answering. I agree with that. Do you think there's any benefit to being upfront about having a casual relationship?
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
(any benefit in being upfront about having a casual relationship)
Look, it's unusual to be discussing this stuff so early in a relationship, unless you are older or on OLD and the descriptions say, only interested in a LTR ,etc.
Any relationship, starts as casual. It takes time to determine if you have mutual interest, mutual goals, mutual values and you are compatible with each other for a LTR.
so, I've been on OLD, I am freaking OLD so there. Most girls in my age group, 40+ will state clearly what they are looking for. Which is fine. But you always start casual.
You aren't being dishonest with yourself, UNLESS you know 100%, I don't want anything serious, only casual.
Then you have to decide yourself do you want to be misleading or not. Me, wasn't an issue, I was always fine getting into a LTR, but most girls were not worthy of it. That didn't make me feel bad when girls would push me for commitment. Not my fault they didn't meet my standards, it's like telling them, make me change my mind
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
And if you are only looking for casual relationships, it's completely fine to overtly say so. But doing that will hurt your chances with the "only LTR" crowd if your SMV is not top notch.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
Yes that's true coolsocks
Most girls want the "possible perception" that she can get in a LTR with you, that's the reason she went wild with you, not because she's a slut.
then , when you confirm you don't want a LTR with her, she's not a slut, you are a jerk, that's self preservation.
I didn't want drama, so I didn't lead them on, and I still had girls blow up at me when I refused to commit to her. At the first signs of that, I'd exit. That's just me though, I shoot straight and want them to also.
benzino 3y ago
Thanks a lot. so basically here''s how I see it now:
The LTR route
I don't like leading them on so either I'm looking for a way to lie as little as possible.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
you aren't lying, unless you 100% are sure, this girl is not LTR material and you are still ramming her.
until she's 100% ruled out, she's being rented on a trial basis. She has to pass the test.
Be 100% sure, she is also testing you out and looking at other options during your trial period.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
For us guys we view this stuff quite black and white, re your bullet points. But you really dont want to lay it out this way to a woman.
It should take a lot of prodding for her to get any sort of put-together, serious reply from you.
As a man, your commitment is at the root of your sexual power, and you should leverage it the best way you can. That doesnt have to mean lying, but it certainly can mean simply ignoring her questions, pinning her down and fucking her brains out.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
This
good reply
whytehorse2021 3y ago
I tried to be sneaky and tell a woman I wanted a LTR so I could get into her pants. Well, I got into her pants and guess what? We've been married 17 years now and have 2 kids.
benzino 3y ago
Yeah the things people do to be sneaky. Reminds me of that Key and Peele short
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBQiLh9N6kg
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
So was that what happened, or the "lets run away and get married"-line
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Yeah I used that line on her.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Uh. No. I just avoid telling them what "we are" when they ask
But lately I've just been making it clear I'm going for chicks through my vibe and behaviors. I have several girls trying to go for me right now even though they know I'm talking to several girls.
I don't really hide it from the get go but I don't outright say I'm a single bachelor either. They kind of know what's up already and so if they go for me they aren't really under the illusion that they'll be mine. Maybe they think they can try but it's not exactly a secret for me anyway and they're still going for me
Example 1) one chick I have a date with next week who is very interested in me knows I took another girl home. She literally saw me take her home and when she asked me about it later I didn't even bother to hide it. She's still pursuing me and she's responsible for whatever outcome she put herself in by doing so
Example 2) group of girls and a couple guys I'm in (it's not MY group, I just associate with them so I'm not too deep in the weeds with them)
They ALL know I talk to a new chick every fucking night I'm at the venue. I'm pretty sure a) one of them likes me but I've been too chicken-shit to make a move cause she's a 9 even though she gives me fuck me eyes, b) I subtly turned down another cause she is really just not my type, and c) one who has invited herself over to my place but whom I haven't heard yet from as far as logistics goes
Point is, they know what's up. They see me talk to a new girl every week and I'm obviously holding some chicks hand or whatever almost every week at least
They still go for me. They know what's up.
It's easier to dodge the whole them knowing they're a plate if they can already sense that's what they are
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Always yes...... either she just gets it from my behaviour, or I tell her explicitly. 1/3 are into it..... 1/3 are ok with it..... 1/3 walk.