My defining characteristic is that I am strong in empathy. After studying some RP concepts I realize that it is my most limiting factor on becoming a real man. Fitness is not my problem since I am muscular and have been an athlete since childhood (To response if I lift). I'm also fairly successful in my career (big4 manager) and appreciated by my peers. How can I train myself out of strong feelings of empathy? It holds me back ta attract women and also in my career.
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[deleted] 3y ago
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kv2_0833 3y ago
Hahaha I feel this. Honestly what did it for me was just getting burned enough times. Now I'm only empathetic to those who deserve it. Maybe give No more mr. nice guy a read?
Journey_of_Gilgamesh 3y ago
Just made an online order for it. Cheers!
Hiram_abiff 3y ago
I don’t think the problem is empathy, the problems being too agreeable.
Journey_of_Gilgamesh 3y ago
and that is what I can certainly control and effect on. Cheers!
financehardo420 3y ago
become a little more greedy
Peter_Henderson 3y ago
Here's a question for you -- wouldn't it be easier to "hide" the fact you are empathetic rather than "getting rid of" your empathetic nature? I'm unsure if you even know what empathy means at this point, so I'll google it for you:
Just as I predicted -- it is THE ABILITY TO and there's no compulsion to. You're acting like empathy is a switch that cannot be turned off but my google research (provided via bulletpoint) literally says it is THE ABILITY TO which denotes that you can do it if you want to, but that you don't have to.
Being empathic does not force you to act like how you act. It just means you have the ability to (if you want), therefore your argument/reasoning laid out in the OP is defeated by the definition of what empathy actually means...
QED!
Journey_of_Gilgamesh 3y ago
Very good point. My issue manifests itself by being easily emotional mirroring feelings of other, especially women. Since we know that women don't like you weakness, it must be my choice how I react to their emotions. Thanks Peter to point out that it's my decision in the end.
Peter_Henderson 3y ago
Do you mean if a girl feels sad (let's say her father got diagnosed with cancer) -- you will genuinely feel sad because she is sad? Or will you feel sad because her dad got cancer? The phrase "mirroring" makes it seem like you absorb her emotions and make a copy. I honestly don't know if your claim makes sense to me (maybe it does, I'm not really 100% sure). I just find it puzzling that you are a human who claims to be able to "emotionally mirror the feelings" of another person.
Maybe it's true, but it just doesn't make sense to me -- based on my understanding of humans. Also -- maybe there is a misunderstanding of me comprehending what you wrote. My apologies if I misunderstood you.
Correct, women don't like weakness. They want a man to be "their rock" who is strong, stoic, and has leadership qualities. However -- I challenge you to ask yourself if what you think is "showing weakness" is actually what your female friend interprets as "showing weakness". In other words, I'm asking you to "double check" if your belief is valid and isn't a "non sequitur":
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non_sequitur
The pleasure is all mine.
Journey_of_Gilgamesh 3y ago
Took me a while Peter to come back. Thanks for the material. I have cooled down a bit so I can explains this better. My issue is not the empathy and ability to understand someone's feelings is a human thing to have. My issue is that when ever I get into fight with LTR, I cry why too easily when they start crying. Knowing that not all the arguments and fights are from a valid reason, this is not good. Still, I'll be focusing on fact that I can always choose how to react. I believe my problem comes from nice-guy-behavior.
Peter_Henderson 3y ago
I literally have never heard of this problem before in my life. You are the first person claiming to have this problem (from my perspective) and it reminds me of a "light hearted" video about a man whose wife would cry at the end of nearly every movie and her reasons were always dumber-than-shit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcrsuJqQH8A
For the record (in case my internet activity is monitored by the FBI and they are testing my honesty), I must state for the record that I do not believe your claim nor your story whatsoever. I literally believe it 0% only. With that said however, crying uncontrollably when your girlfriend cries IS NOT NORMAL.
Your original explanation (that you're an empath or whatever) is now 1000x less believable than when I originally read your story. If you are legitimately serious and telling the truth, here is my advice for you.
Here is my advice: Create a reddit account and post what you've told me just now (that seeing your girlfriend cries causes you to uncontrollably start crying) and post your question on the "r/advice" community which I will link below.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/
If you have any problems using reddit, then click this next link I'm about to give you which will send a modmail to the mod-team of r/advice
https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/Advice
Pfizer 3y ago
MA6be read Empathy Survival guide by Orloff
I couldn't digest it. But maybe im not empath
[deleted] 3y ago
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Journey_of_Gilgamesh 3y ago
Exactly! It is my choice how to act to women's emotions, which is my major weakness. I think one of the helping things to understand their true nature. It is bit painful to understand but part of the process.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
There's actually a medical condition where this becomes debilitating. https://www.salk.edu/news-release/trust-hormone-oxytocin-found-at-heart-of-rare-genetic-disorder/
Journey_of_Gilgamesh 3y ago
I'll try this one if everything else fails. Thanks!