In my last post I asked for advice on how to progress with girls, approaching, etc. You can read the last one if you want to, but TLDR, I'm at a good mental and physical state as a result of my last 9 months of self improvement. The one thing I'm struggling with is social skills and getting girls. After a sobering (pun intended) night of reflection, I realized there was much to learn from my experience. And so, here it goes...

Yesterday, I was feeling myself and wanted to go to some pawties. I went on a bit of a whim, and just decided to go solo dolo rather than organize a group of people. At frats, you usually need ratio and all that to get in, and me, so afraid of rejection, walked around the parties for a full 5 minutes simply because I was scared of getting ''rejected" by the guy at the door.

Eventually, I just decided "fuck it" and went up to the different parties. I DID wind up getting rejected; back to back to back, in fact. On my 4th try, though, I finally got into one and ended up having a blast there.

Wanna know the funny part? I forgot about all those rejections the instant I got into a party. Even more, the rejections didn't really hurt as much as my emotions pre-approach were telling me they would. Oh well, I can't get into this party. On to the next. The intensity of your approach anxiety is always completely disproportionate with the disappointment you feel if you get rejected.

Anyways, back to the story. The party was fun and all, but it ended kinda early, leaving me with two options: go home, or find another party to hop into. This really means that there's only one option; GO CRAZY GO STUPID.

To find my next party, I simply followed the music. Once I got to the house, though, I saw 2 girls on door duty. Oh no, female homo sapiens, my worst nightmare! Instead of simply walking up there and trying my luck, I start to walk away, since, after all, there's NO way I could get in, right? After a couple steps, I realize I've fallen into the same mental trap. I turn my bitch ass around, talk with the girls on door for a bit, and voila, now I'm in a new party.

I've come to realize that my huge, unfounded fear of rejection is the one thing that's holding me back in all things social. "B-But what if I say the wrong thing?". You're worrying too much about rejection. "Ok, but what if I'm not funny enough?". Same thing. This worry and anxiety then locks up your real personality, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. An unwarranted, excessive fear of rejection will poison all your interactions, regardless of whether you're trying to make male friends or get bitches.

To anyone who's struggling with getting girls, I'm telling you, your fear of rejection is probably the #1 thing holding you back. Why not try and fail, rather than not try at all? If you try, there's at least a chance you succeed. If you don't try, it is quite literally impossible for you to succeed.

Time to go get rejected a bunch :)