When I think about my life, then I realize no one really gives an f about me. I have a history of being bullied (bc. I was the smart kid), I got excluded and ridiculed in highschool and currently no one wants to have me around or even talk to me. (People often aks me something and when I answer and explain it to them, they cut me off and carry on with sth else. And this happens when I'm with 'friends' or even relatives) It feels like a curse tbh., bc. I can't explain it or the reasons for it rationally.
A year ago I started university and with my new RP knowledge I had new tools to apply. And I did pretty well back then: I made friends, we hung out in the gym, went to clubs and did stuff. I met new people everyday. I was able to improve myself socially.
(I already did a Self-Improvement run in 2019 where I worked on Charisma and that kind of stuff, where stuff also improved superficially.)
But somehow people still never really gave a f about me. They replace me with others, put me down socially, cut me off, ridicule me when I'm sad, etc.
I really don't know what I can do to make it better. But I want to do better. Not just so I can get women, but to make sth. out of myself.
I have worked on game and social skills
I think the solution is not sth. I actively have to do or have to think or whatever. Remember the phrase "Women just are, men must become". I think men have to become so that they just are as well. But I have no clue how to do that.
Hope you guys can give me some good input.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Ok, this is brutal but will ultimately help:
Noone gives a fuck about any other guy. Noone gives a fuck about me. Do you care if I live or die? I've commented and helped people on asktrp more than anyone else you can think of, I've been on TRP and a senior whatever for a decade. I've been away for a while, did you drop me a line to ask how I'm doing? Did you even think of me?
No, you didn't, and that's fine, it's how it should be.
Because I own my life, and you own yours. Quit valuing your life by how others value it. This is YOUR life, this is for YOU.
You don't need people to care about you, you need to be happy, to have fun, and be productive. Others caring about you is nice, but you need to seriously lower your expectations there. Because people care about what others can do for them, not about other people. There are few and rare exceptions - treasure them when you find them - but don't expect other people to be your parents.
Your life. For you.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
I don't think we ever interacted, so I don't know you. Tbh sometimes I think about ppl I interacted with, even online. So maybe I care more about others than they care about me.
Your text is very good. I'll reflect about what you've written. Thanks
fuegobuttstuff 3y ago
Quit being a pussy and become a dominant confident male. Nobody gives a fuck about anyone. The people you perceive to are only acting in their long term self-interest. Once you internalize this you're free.
Ti123 3y ago
Have people you go to consistently and you’ll get people you could go to. Initially it’s a little pushy but it’s fine you build it. Worse mistake is to build your social circle so large that you can’t connect with anyone daily.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
Yeah, but they don't want to talk to me. I mean we say hi and 'how are you' but they switch to other people fast. They rather wanna talk to others.
Ti123 3y ago
People that do want to talk to you. Keep talking to people and you’ll find people like that but you gotta get out everyday same time to same places.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
I know most of the ppl in university, so I've run out of options.
Plus it happens with relatives as well. (I explained it as well in my other comments)
Ti123 3y ago
I think you are sensitive and don’t call people back because most people I know that don’t hit nobody have that problem. Or you expect to be invited by people or your expectations are different
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Some times it's not even you
I had a friend group for two years that just ended for shit that happened outside of the group ironically enough. I never felt like they actually liked me etc, was always thinking it was me, was always trying to repair my image in that group, then it ended.
Then at the same time it ended I met a bunch of other people and they LOVED me. Higher quality people too.
Sometimes you are genuinely surrounded by shitty people man. I wasted two years with them thinking it was all me
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
Well, but when everyone is doing it even relatives, then I cannot blame it on others! I don't think it's my "fault", bc I don't do it willingly or consciously, but I do believe the reason lies within me. And I need to know what to fix and how to fix it.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
I think what you're saying is that people don't respect you. There are 2 definitions of respect and they come from masculine and feminine perspectives. The feminine one is where everybody gets a participation trophy. The masculine one is based on merit. Do you merit respect? I can tell you that as a young man it's very difficult to get respect and over time, as you become, you get more respect.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
Your last point is crucial. I need to become. But I don't know how. I don't know what to do.
Read my second last paragraph in OP, there's how I see the whole thing.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
It takes work on multiple things: money, muscle, game, and frame. Usually, when you're young, money is the hardest thing. Map out a life path and start working towards it. That might involve joining the military or going to college or whatever.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
I just turned 21 (so I had a birthday dinner with family, where some of the stuff I talked about happened)
I'm currently in university on my engineering degree. In my country military service is mandatory for all male citizens, so I did the basic trainings already.
I've been working on muscles really since the pandemic started, first with dumbells at home, then a year ago I started going to the gym and pushing myself. But I haven't gained any mass. The problem is probably my genetics, bc. everyone on my fathers side is very skinny. My mum told me, he was also skinny at first, now he's fine. (This is not an excuse, I went to the gym several times a week, worked hard, pushed myself, I have tried a lot of training methods, took protein shakes, yada yada)
I've also worked on game a bit, and I can be quite good with women. I can play with them well. But my kryptonite are two things: First I'm not good with competition. The whole post is kinda about it. People just choose others over me constantly. So I cannot 'get' women in normal social situations. Maybe when we're both isolated, but that's too hard to achieve often. Second I get talked over a lot. (also in OP) So I cannot really show myself properly.
Currently I have 'enough' money to get comfortable through the bachelor. It should be enough to cover basic costs, but I can also go out without worrying about it. Later with a degree I should be well set.
Frame, well define frame.
I posted a post about how to alpha not too long ago. Maybe ppl don't prioritise me, bc. I'm not 'alpha' enough. But tbh. idk.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
I never could gain mass either. Turns out I had low testosterone my whole life. I got on TRT and wow it's amazing. I got wicked beginner gains because the muscles were there but not large, they just needed testosterone to make them pump up.
Another thing testosterone does is make your face lose fat and look more masculine. I bet that's the real reason you're having problems. You got a baby face and look like a boy instead of a man.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
You know what, I just ordered a testosterone test. Maybe I have low T, the possibility is there and I wanna find out.
I wouldn't say my face is boyish. I'd say it's alright. I still think it's more about my mindset tbh.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Well, I had a stage in my 20s-30s where I wasn't respected because I looked very young. When I went to Asia I looked way more masculine compared to the locals and so I got lots of respect and female attention.
Anyway, male testosterone levels have been declining for many decades and it's not surprising to find younger and younger guys with low T. It's mostly endocrine disrupting chemicals and phyto-estrogens, if you're eating right and working out.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
I think my T is probably a bit below average. But the fact, that my muscles don't pump up could say otherwise.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
It could be anaerobic exercise too.