Basically grew up without a father figure after a very messy divorce and was a refugee so I felt out of place and isolated myself all the way through high school. I am honestly terrified of getting intimate with women and I have extremely low self esteem. Even when women come up to me and make it very clear that they are into me I chicken out and try to escape the situation, despite wanting to get to know them.
I have never been on a date or really talked with a woman romantically for long periods of times. I just get extremely anxious that I will be exposed as an inexperienced man at my age and basically be shamed for it. I don't know how to get out of this rut that I am in. These thoughts constantly preoccupy my mind and it's making it impossible for me to focus on work, socialising with friends and family or even working out.
Is there any hope left for me at this age? How does someone in my shoes even get started?
pfeilmacher 1y ago
Bro, don't act like something you aren't.
Stop making excuses. You're not in a "rut". You're in your life. If you don't make some changes, then this is your life forever. Stop being a pussy and do something. Jesus fucking christ. And again: stop making excuses.
Karenzza 1y ago
Start with sidebar
https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-created-a-pdf-of-the-sidebar.358435
[deleted] 1y ago
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Stop chickening out, step one
Also, women are so used to bad sex that even if you're bad they won't even remember you there are so many lays they've had that weren't good that it that's you it won't even matter.
So don't be worried about being bad your first time. Be worried about being bad your 10th time
Objetpetita 1y ago
Mindset is everything, your actions and by extension your results originate directly from it. Do not let your mindset be compromised for any reason, even if you rationally think you should because you are inexperienced or whatever else you can come up with. You should hold this as holy. You literally cannot hold good frame if you let yourself be swayed at such a fundamental level.
It's much better to be a confident inexperienced man than an insecure inexperienced man.
NeoSpartan 1y ago
There's tens thousands of datable girls within 20 miles of you I bet. Who cares if you burn a few bridges learning how to handle women. You need just go try man. You will fail a lot at first, but with every attempt you will likely learn something useful for next time.
imtranscending 1y ago
Great piece of advice right here. Lots of these hoes you’ll never see again.
You will fumble, I fumbled with a celebrity last night. I’ve recently raised my standards to only gaming 6s and up. It’s tougher, but you walk away with that experience.
NeoSpartan 1y ago
Oh nice man, you've really been progressing well bro XD
Yeah and for op, we all start out at our weakest yeah? But with experience and time you WILL progress and so will the quality of girls you can get. Courting females is just like any other skill, practice makes perfect.
Btw, haha nice trance bro! I actually got a date with a minor celeb this weekend too. I think we've both gained a lot of skill a lot in the last year or so XD
Ti123 1y ago
Start trying to fuck them you’ll get the realest advice which is experience. I was for so long, trying to figure out everything about how to get into a specific company I asked for advice here and there but just wasn’t satisfied with the responses. Then as unprepared as I was I started applying and everything started clicking together that I was inexperienced because I wasn’t trying. I wasn’t getting the real advice because I wasn’t trying. Try and life will give you clarity.
LeonBarosanul 1y ago
Find a job as a bartender / waiter in a hip pub in your area, where young people congregate. Work on being a cool dude and then the social proof you'll get will make scoring easier. Plus you might find and befriend some competent wingmen.
Remember, if, for some reason, you fuck up during your first sex, you have an option to go on the offensive (ask the girl wtf was she doing, stuff like that). Or if she wants to make some big deal about it just tell her to shut the fuck up while you seem distracted about something (else).
Don't worry about ejaculating fast, most probably you will not ejaculate, or do it very late (sounds paradoxical, but it's rather the latter than the former. Make sure to keep it easy with the porn, soldier, just enough to not be too sensitive down there
But until then, read the sidebar, read heartiste (up until 2012) twice and GO OUT TO GET REJECTED. The first couple of times will suck, but after some time you will say to yourself: "why did I make such a big deal about it?"
Did you kiss close girls at least?
imtranscending 1y ago
The first 20 times will suck. But that split second decision to approach is the toughest part of the whole encounter.
imtranscending 1y ago
22 YO virgin here, but am making progress towards a lay. Staying on your mission, maximizing your SMV, and learning game should be your top 3 priorities.
Firstly, talk with all girls for the sake of chatting to learn what makes them tick and build self confidence. Game lower SMV girls, practice on them. They’ll act all “mean” but that’s just banter. If they’re still imitating convo with you, they’re interested. Play along and tease the hell out of them. Have fun with it and make ‘em wet for you.
Continue to talk with girls of all SMV but once you start getting more comfortable, you can dial in more on 6s and up. Start gaming exclusively 6s and above. 5s aren’t attractive to me, and other people have attested that they can have egos of 6s and 7s. With that information, just start gaming anything above a 5 and stick with that. Learn from there, good luck.