I haven't been active on here the past week because I'm been investing most of my spare time and considerable amounts of energy into building relationships with my classmates. I mean guys and girls. I'm out here taking that 1st step in addition to the 2nd, 3rd and 4th.
We know I fingered this chick on Friday, but since then we've only exchanged messages once. I'm not her texting buddy, and she's a bad texter. But I've been left on read for a couple days now. That doesn't usually bug me, but with all my plans this weekend falling though, it does. That HB 6 has also ghosted me after I asked about the clubbing, I know I blew that one. My guy friend and I from acting were supposed to watch a movie Saturday night, but he just suddenly apologized and said "something came up" and had to cancel. I was very nonchalant about it, and said it was alright.
So then I went to a mid bar with the pool tables. The nicest people I met in there was a porn star, and her director husband. Did one approach in the middle of the night, got shut down with a "this place makes me nervous, and so do you." I've already analyzed this encounter and am already improving. Did another approach right before closing, this chick was 25 and a single mother. Got her # but haven't heard back. Girl from math class said "it's just not a good time" in response to me asking her to hangout. She sent that in instagram dms vanish mode, so probably has a bf. Who cares anyways. She's getting nothing from me now and just isn't worth my time.
In the context of trying to build a social circle and gaming girls at school, it's just been getting rockier. I know I need to get more #s and outcome independence, yes yes. But this guy classmate bailing on me last second was just was one more thing not working out. It's just starting to feel people are taking my effort for granted. That's starting to interfere with my mission of meeting girls and building a social circle. I'm starting to feel very tired from all this. Along with that tiredness is some mild depression which is going to throw me off. I'm highly extroverted, so these denials/absences of attention or effort sting a little more.
I’m still going to be charming and happy when I see my classmates, but there’s pain building up behind my eyes.
Please help me out here guys. Thanks for reading.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
For the longest time I thought I was handsome because my mom told me I was. Failure after failure in the real world taught me otherwise. Like honestly, if you're not an 8+ women want nothing to do with you. I'd go spend $100 every weekend at bars with no results. If I had just saved up 2 weeks I could've fucked an HB10 prostitute.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
There's a lot to unpack here. I just get the feeling you're trying to game everyone too much. Maybe putting on too much of a facade that is not really yourself. You're also putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
The age old advice of "just be yourself" is, as most of us know, borderline useless when it comes to Game. We should always improve and step out of our comfort zone, and so become a new version of ourselves. But you do this gradually, and with the understanding that it will take a lot of trial and error. Trying too hard to be better, cooler, more charismatic; this can have the opposite effect. And it can make you miserable. It is much more powerful to first aim at truly owning who you already are, with all your imperfections.
You need to compartmentalize a little bit. Group 1 consists of people who are potentially in your social circle, and group 2 of women you meet that have little relevance in your daily life. With group 1 you should keep yourself on a tight leash Game-wise. Be attractive, dont be unattractive; be kind but not a pushover; have fun and do fun stuff so people enjoy time with you. Dont be sexually polarizing and dont push boundaries until you either know what you're doing, or have very strong choosing signals from a girl. Dont shit where you eat.
For group 2, almost anything goes. Just dont do shit that may stir up serious trouble for you in the future.
You are not owed anything in this world. The sooner you realise that and understand that you are responsible for the results you get, the better. If people arent responding to your efforts, it's not on them, it's on you. This goes back to what i wrote earlier. Do only the things you honestly WANT to do, without needing a specific outcome.
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coolsocks00 1 3y ago
The main issue i see right now is that you're very needy, and indeed seem to get stuck with a scarcity mindset.
You cant let minor stuff like this phase you, it just reeks of neediness. In these particular cases, they are both in your social circle, right? That puts them in category 1. Stop chasing, and game other women. When it comes to guys, do fun group activities. Dont hold stupid grudges because a dude didnt want to have a date night with you. Watching a movie together with another guy is pretty foreign to me at least.
It's your responsibility to never give up, yes. But when you "fail", you're learning. Your thoughts should be "okay, that didnt work. Good, time to adjust". I've personally had many moments where in hindsight i cringed at myself, but laughed and shrugged it off.
This is exactly what i mean. Needy, needy, needy. Yuck.
There is no we. If you meet her and you carry expectations, she will pick up on it and be turned off.
No, thats cat. 1. When you know what you're doing, you can be more polarizing with girls in the right settings. Once you have great social proof you can get away with a lot. Until then you have to be careful not to shit where you eat.
Hanscheezburger 3y ago
Dude it's a numbers game. You do what you can to increase your chances, doesn't mean you'd succeed every time. Just have fun with it - that's called being outcome independent.
The more girls you game, the higher the chance that one of them will like you. The better you look, the better your chances too. Out of every 10 girls I approach I'd probably get like 1-2 successful lays but it is what it is. Good thing about being fit and good looking is that many girls will do the approaching for you or at least the IOIs are much stronger. So go work on that
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Hanscheezburger 3y ago
Yeah they are good looking. but that's because I only approach the ones with high IOIs so relatively few overall. Im not tall but have a good boyish looking face and look decently muscled with low body fat - that helps a lot because Im broke af lol.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
You are definitely trying too hard, and you are putting on a facade. You're not a confident super Chad but you are gaming in a way that makes it seem like you are trying to portray that. Dial back your expectations and how you are portraying yourself.
Also, game success is not a linear progression. You don't have some successful games and then all of a sudden you're just on an upward trajectory. Shit happens, sometimes you lose progress, some times you get 20 girls in a row that have no interest in you, sometimes things going well fall apart.
Some times you go out and you're just not in a good mindset so you don't have any success. Some times you'll have had a bad day before going out and can't shake it. Shit happens all the time in game.
Don't expect to constantly be on the upswing like it's a linear progression. Your successes and failures are constantly going to be going up and down. And the better you get the less downs you will have. But you are not always gauranteed upswings in results simply because you have experience succeeding previously
Human beings, especially women, are very dynamic. You can only ever react in the moment to unpredictable and dynamic personalities and responses. The same girl that hates you on a Friday night might have loved you on the next Saturday night had you met her a day later because maybe she had a shitty day Friday.
You can't control the vast majority of factors in game. Come to terms with it and adapt to the challenges at hand. You're obviously going into game with expectations about your abilities.
You let your recent successes go to your head and shape your expectations
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Don't justify your behaviors to online strangers. The fact is I'm sure the girls you're gaming can tell. Justifying why you're doing it here is not going to fix the perception you are giving out to the world. That starts with you. You're not Don Juan, don't act like Don Juan until you're slinging pussy left and right
Where did the sidebar say to act like you're the CEO when you're an entry level employee? I also don't remember this in Pook. You should act like the prize, not a gift to humanity. I exaggerate with that point but still, you want to improve your game right? Get off your high horse, even if it's unintentional.
Yeah but then it won't later. It comes and goes in cycles, but these down cycles are going to end sooner if you get your head out of your butt and realize this is normal game ups and downs
Pushing through shit is gonna get you more shit. If you're determined to go out and a day you feel like shit just chill out. Hang around familiar faces, be low key etc until you are in a good state of mind, then game at the venue. Don't show up feeling like shit and start gaming. If you feel like ass, just hang out at the bar or mingle with friends or dudes until you have an actual smile on your face or something.
That's what we are talking about. You come across as though you're Chad going through a pre-defined script of success when you game and that's not how it works. Women are unpredictable and dynamic. The only constant in game is YOU. You're the only one in the set who stays the same. Everyone else is dynamic and had a hidden agenda. You can't go in like this is some red pill script where you apply frame and pass shit tests etc like it's part of a script. You handle things as they come to you
Hell yeah it feels good. But when a girl you've fucked well etc ghosts or breaks or whatever it still feels like shit. Internalize the "it's just your turn aspect" and always be looking for new pussy even if you've got 5 girls. Women will always disappoint you, you can only ever be proud of yourself and your own way of life
Keep trying but don't try so hard
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Ti123 3y ago
That’s that sharpening iron. Keep at it. Those are the sparks flying off you when you sharpen the iron. It’s gonna hurt but you’ll get over it. That’s just how people are, you keep being this guy here you’ll get somewhere. If you drop it because a little depression hit you. You’ll get nowhere. Dial back if you need to.
RememberingAlpha 3y ago
Usually we have to advise people to get up from behind the keyboard and go try things. In your case, I might advise you do a little less. Don't boil the ocean.
Definitely keep investing in relationships with guys. Do that genuinely. Building a core group of bros to take on your college years with is so fucking important. Healthy masculine relationships are infinitely more important than any relationships with women.
Don't try to game all the girls at once. If you go through all of them this year, then for the next three years they'll remember the time you hit on them (unsuccessfully) as a freshman. You want to have some clean sets left to play after you've been building power and sharpening your game for a year or two.
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RememberingAlpha 3y ago
You’re thinking about the right things and ultimately that will lead to success. I’m highly extroverted as well, imagine my dismay when I learned the ideal RP man is a dark triad introvert.
There is a way of making this all work as an extrovert. I’m just saying if I could give myself advice when I found Trp spring freshman year of college, that’s all the advice I’d give myself.
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