So I was in this LTR with this girl I knew from school for a year. Started dating her back then and gamed her hard, she was affirmitive to everything I said or had done. At one point her negative emotions kicked in and she was questioning the relationship because I forbid her something. Lost frame, let her do it. Regretted it and tried to install this rule again. For months we discussed about so many fucking things. Like things that annoyed me but she did not want to change. She broke up in the last 5 months at least 5 times, and everytime I gave her comfort (big mistake) and convinced her that we will work on the relationship.
In this time the cute girl that only cared about my opinion and wanted to present herself in the best way to me always, was turning more and more disrespectful over time. Really fucking gradually it became more.
The level of disrespect it reached is so enermous at this point, that I fucking hate myself at this point for letting her do this to me. Screaming, insulting, saying really hurtful things. But ofcourse she blames me that I was disrespectful first.
The amount of emotional investment from my side is so much. Depression and all this other shit kicked in for me so hard. I cannot really stop contacting her. The thing is she put me as the person that did the wrongdoing and she is entitled to want to never see me again.
Serious question. How do I forget her as fast as possible.
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
Hanscheezburger 3y ago
The answer will always be to date new women. But unless your mind is made up about moving on, you're just coping. You need to accept the fact that this is over first. And that it's actually a good thing it ended.
I can think of an analogy that works well for this, the South Indian monkey trap. It's basically a coconut filled with rice, with a hole that's just big enough for a monkey to put his hand in, but too small for him to pull out when he grabs the rice inside it.
The monkey gets trapped by clinging on to the rice while he can easily get out if he just lets go. But he doesn't, and gets captured. The monkey is stupid because he doesn't do a reassessment of value. The rice which was valuable to him before, is nothing compared to his freedom. But he doesn't see the big picture, so he loses both.
Now are you a monkey that clings onto things that ruin you? Or are you a man that's willing to make sacrifices and move on for the future?
truthdontbehidden 3y ago
The first part really resognates with me. I do not think that my mind is made up about moving on and the main reason is I am virgin simping. The fact I was her first and only is a big point for me, especially for cultural and religious reasons I would hate to date a woman seriously that is not a virgin or extremly low body count. In the scenario that I sacrifice her I will have to work really fucking hard in life to be able to get a new beautiful virgin woman again... that I like...
truthdontbehidden 3y ago
I feel like I am working against myself but how tf. should I sacrifice something that seemed so perfect for me (sounds bluepill i know)
whytehorse2021 3y ago
You said it yourself: you lost frame. This is what caused the problems to begin with. Learn your lesson and move on. I like to use the ship analogy. A relationship is like a ship where the man is the captain and the woman is the first mate. If you're a shitty captain your first mate jumps ship or mutinees.
financehardo420 3y ago
lift weights and spin plates king
RememberingAlpha 3y ago
Quoted for Truth.
Fresh_Pulse 3y ago
To paraphrase an EC, "this wouldn't be an issue if you were maintaining sexual relationships with multiple women".