As the title suggests, I'm vetting this girl for a LTR. Still talking to other girls.
Just to clarify, although I've been in the RP community for over 2 and a half years, I've only been plating girls since and have no actual experience with LTR's in the red pill world. Not counting what I've read on the forums.
We're both 18, known each other for over 3 years and talked on and off. She's very submissive and good to me. She has been pushing for a LTR with me for about 2 months.
To get to the point of this post, she told me in advance she's going to this DnB/Techno party or whatever. Us not being in a LTR, I just proceeded as if she was just a plate and didn't think anything of it. I thought about telling her not to go and set boundaries right then and there, but at the same time it seemed it would be kinda out of place as we're still not exclusive.
She never goes to clubs, or any parties. She texted me yesterday "I'm starting to get anxious about todays party. I know I should go and have fun but I'm not sure if I even know how to".
When we see each other, should I tell her something along the lines of "If you want me to be with you, I don't want you going to no more parties."?
I've already accepted the possibility that I made a mistake here, but it doesn't seem like something unrecoverable.
I'll appreciate all advice and insight. Really clueless here.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
You're 18. You're at your lowest SMV in your life. I would've killed to have steady pussy when I was going through my journey of becoming a man. Just don't make the mistake of going all beta, getting oneitis, etc. Nothing wrong with an LTR but I personally would prefer an exclusive relationship with non-exclusive sex. As your SMV rises you may find you can do better.
Terra 3y ago
I just disagree with other SMV comment. You might be at the top of you SMV now. If your jacked and have game, but for.some reason you'll hit the low later it might be your time now.
TRP assumes you will always get better in many areas of your life as time goes on, but its only assumption.
Think its your Max SMV at all times and work on social circle, family.
Terra 3y ago
You don't wantctell her what she should do. You can say, you should go but sometimes people regret things later on and cant go back. Unfortunately it doesn't sound fun. If she was raised properly by father that might hit the note, but Ill tell you. I'm far from 18. Screen her friends.undermine shitty ones in same indirect way, by stories. Positive stories: The best girl I knew did this and that today I would be with her but she dies in plane accident.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
Just talking?
Dont expect too much in terms of LTRs at that age. Enjoy yourself.
You cannot wait until you are "formally in a LTR" to set boundaries.
I understand why you came to that conclusion, but it's a mistake. You almost have this figured out.
Vetting and boundary setting are two different things and while vetting is good, it's just going on in the background.
You need to set boundaries actively, even with plates and FWBs. While your boundaries will be stricter and more overt with a LTR than a plate, the main difference is in your level of investment.
With a plate/FWB i would always make it about me and not her. "I just cant take girls who party seriously", "it's not what im looking for". I'll let her see im not entirely indifferent to this and it covertly communicates that her choices have consequences for her.
This is overt communication and is rarely the most effective way to get your point across. Even with a LTR.