Im the one who dumped her, so I believe I have to reach out. I really felt I made the right decision when breaking things off with her, she didnt do anything too bad, but I got grass is greener syndrome even though I knew she was very hot, and liked her personality a lot.

Ive been socializing a lot, going out to bars and social events almost 4-5 times a week now. Not "looking" for girls but just working on becoming my best self, one thing I told myself is I would like to become way more social after the breakup. Its been about 2 months since we broke up, I feel like ive improved a lot. I was very social before we dated and sort of fell into a routine with my ex (not the reason we broke up at all), which involved not going out so much just focusing on work and taking her on dates, and friends/hobbies on the side. so im sort of just going back to the old me.

I also have been very disappointed with the girls ive been meeting both hooking up with and just meeting at social events. None of them do it for me.

Meanwhile my ex is constantly posting things trying to get my attention on social media, almost on a daily basis. I know people will say "well, she didnt contact you so its just for attention" but the thing is that I am the dumper, meaning its usually my responsibility to fix things, not her. But theres also the slim chance it is just female ego thirsting for validation, too. Ive talked to a female friend of mine (I know this is not recommended), but she told me that maybe my ex really wants me back but since i dumped her she wont reach out, because girls have pride, and all she can do is do "hints" or whatever, just gave me a female perspective.

Its been 2 months, Ive improved myself tremendously. I want my ex back. But im not sure if I could get her back, just because some people have strict rules on not getting back with an ex, im not sure if thats the type of person she is. I have been very underwhelmed with the girls ive been meeting and hooking up with, and i dont want to waste 6 months of time finding another girl on her level. Especially when she didnt do anything wrong i got "grass is greener" syndrome.

My biggest fear is that I ask for her back and she doesnt want me anymore, even though I admit my wrongs and return as a better version of myself.

Even though Ive been focused on improving myself, I cannot help but think a few times a day "what if she doesnt want me back anymore" and that question i ruminate on a daily basis. But I think that maybe she feels the same about me.