You guys know I haven't had success with women (for a multitude of reasons), but I absolutely get 0 IOI's. Not one, never fucking ever. At the bar, store, gym, fucking everywhere I go. All my attempts shot down, not even entertained. Never given any chances, I don't mean to sound pitiful but that's just the truth. I can feel some negativity when this happens (and even some right now as I type this), but it's controlled. I'd still do all the things I do now even if I had success (gym, learning, cold approaching, chasing excellence, you fucking name it).
This is not me giving up, but I see the writing on the wall. So almost every time I'm rejected, I think "it's not enough" referring to my current SMV. It's simple, my SMV is not high enough. I thought that was a healthy and objective thing to say. I know we are our thoughts, and although what I say is true I think it could be damaging. I'm starting to think I have an unhealthy perception of my SMV, please help me guys. How do I correct this way of thinking "it's not enough"?
Thank you.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Hard to say without an idea of how you look/present yourself,
But the most accurate gauge of SMV is what level of girl you can pull. If only 6s max will give you the time of day, you're probably a 6 or 7 yourself.
Also, keep in mind, girls who are 5s and 6s are routinely hit on by everyone because they are the lowest common denominator of a desirable girl to have just for fucking.
They're not uggo like 3's and 4's who are more like desperate layups for guys in a questionable bind, but they have the highest percentage of getting hit on by everyone without getting what they want out of it in return. I.e. they get targeted for one night stands and quick fucks
I will approach 5s and 6s (not on purpose, I just don't get a good look at them from the front) and they hate me for the most part. I will talk to a 7, 8, or even some times 9s and they like me a good amount of the time
You can't always take a girl's reaction personally, like in the example above, girls who should be MORE receptive to me are way less receptive to me.
You need to find your benchmark of which girls are receptive to you, SMV alone doesn't explain the entire dynamic of how girls react. Time of day etc and who they came to the venue with matters to.
Trust, me there is a lot involved with how a girl will be receptive to you or not that might have almost nothing to do with you at times
desbryant 1y ago
Agreed. Mid level SMV women will gaslight you into thinking you are low smv.
I can talk to 100 girls in a week, casually not approaching, and a very high percentage of HB7.5-9 will give me great conversations and multiple IOI's and "hit it off" with me, great vibes.
The most amount of rejections will come from the HB5-6.5 crowd. And they will seriously make me second guess if the higher SMV girls are just being polite.
HB4-6.5 women literally gaslight the shit out of you. You cannot let them do this. Good thing I have fucked HB7-9 so I know where im really at. But every once in a while its easy for you to feel like your smv is slipping if you run into a few bitter hb5's.
Because of this i have learned to treat them neutrally or sometimes like shit. Because when I show a moderate level of niceness they seem to interpret it as me hitting on them, and they view it as an opportunity to reject me as a result. Theyre retarded.
imtranscending 1y ago
Fair point.
I totally agree, and this was a good comment. But what should I tell myself as I walk away from that interaction? Saying "still not enough" in context of SMV seems unhealthy
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
If you walk away from a 9 who has nothing but ultra giga Chads on her roster thinking you're enough and that it was just your game or something then that's unhealthy.
If you have unrealistic expectations that is unhealthy.
There's a certain degree of reality you have to swallow with your own SMV. You sound like you're in complete denial about how cold approaching works
imtranscending 1y ago
Damn so true.
You're correct man. I think I was in some denial, but I also didn't really know how cold approaching works. This post was the product built up sexual frustration. I'm going to stop saying that, there's no need to if I'm aware of the competition. I just thought maybe I'd get IOIs from average looking or below average girls when I'm in public but maybe there's more I misunderstand. I don't mean having them make the first move, but just any IOI coming my direction.
Being dead honest, I'm not attracted to average looking girls. I never approach them, lots of em are close to being a 4. They don't turn me on and I keep thinking I can approach girls of my level of attraction but that's hard to win at because hypergamy. I have so much going for me, in time I'll see my ambitions through. I'm going to continue to approach and game higher SMV girls because that's what I'm attracted to. But I'm changing my mindset a little, I'm aware of the competition so no need to reaffirm my lower status after every approach.
I'm going to try and talk with lower SMV girls too, but in my area it's either they're a 6+ or a 4 and under.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You need to stand out to get IOIs. Women see a million guys walking around every day
Most guys aren't, hence why they're the target of hookup attempts and don't react well to random attention
This is a complete cope. You're rejecting yourself in advance as a defensive mechanism. You need to stop. Do the approach and see if you actually get rejected first or not
If you're approaching girls any other girls that you're not even attracted to, no one can help you with that
If you're going to waste energy on girls you're not even into, do so for the social experience. don't expect to turn on a girl when she can dead seriously tell that not even you are into her. Women can feel desire, how is she supposed to feel the desire you don't even have. Women are emotionally driven, if you're not even turned on, what is that supposed to inspire in her? Feeling lucky that you're talking to her because she's a 4? Not how attraction works my man
whytehorse2021 1y ago
If you're in the US market and you're not at least an 8 you can expect a 3% chance of success. Go to Cambodia and you can expect a 97% success rate as a 5. Results are relative. I can get a 90% match rate with gay guys in the US. Maybe even 100% in Asia. When I was in Indonesia I got like 70 matches in one hour with women. It's not you, my dude. It's them. Indoctrinated Western women are awful.
imtranscending 1y ago
This proves the SMV is relative and changes depending on where you go (your point). Personally I'm not into asians. What would my success rate look like in Mexico or South American countries such as Columbia and Brazil if I'm a 5.5-6 in the U.S? I really like Latinas, especially the curvier ones and I fancy their culture. I remember reading that I would also need to have game down there as well.
If my SMV is gonna be relative (which it seems not), what's a healthier dialogue I can have with myself as I improve?
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Yeah you can pull Latinas from down South. The poorer the country the better but they're all poorer than the US. Someone on here is actually in Columbia and said you can get girls easy there.
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