Used to lurk TRP back in the day, so probably just looking for confirmation bias here. Haven’t been serious with a girl in 4-5 years, probably been with 40-50 different girls in that timeframe. As of recent been more open to the idea of settling down. Been talking/hooking up with a few girls as of recent, but ones really stuck out and has moved fast. Was starting to consider the possibility of seeing if she’s LTR material, but found out she lied about only talking to me (I know I shouldn’t care as I’m talking to multiple people). She definitely also has been hanging out with another guy as of a few weeks ago, but unsure if anymore. Is it worth bringing up or do I just drop her (or keep her around as a plate I guess but I get bored easily)? I feel like I could easily catch her in a lie, which could be entertaining, but stuck on how much of a shit to give (haven’t been serious in 4 years, won’t be hard to keep it that way). Thanks.
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Hanscheezburger 4y ago
It's not worth bringing it up, unless you want drama that doesn't solve anything. Because she surely isn't going to stop lying, only hide it better
Misstheoldtrp 4y ago
Yeah lyings definitely a deal breaker for me too. Part of me (probably sadistically but whatever) wants to catch her in a lie since she seems to have historically gotten away with everything and been pretty spoiled in the past. I don’t really give af if it ends it or not. Is that still not worth it?
Hanscheezburger 4y ago
I think there's a part like that in all of us. If you are fine with breaking a plate then go for it. It all depends on how you do it, the goal is not to engage in pointless argument with them or try to win one. Be quick, be firm and be done with it.
Here's how I would go about it: Treat her nicely, give her the time of her life, make her think you want to make her an LTR. until the moment is right, then you break it to her: "Hey, I know you lied to me and though it's been nice knowing you, I don't want to deal with that. Wish you the best and goodbye." Then cut off all contact. No closure, no explaining, no arguing.
I did it to a plate because she was talking to her ex behind my back (and lied about blocking him) and she broke down crying and got obsessed for a few months. I don't know if my way is the right way to do it, perhaps someone else has a better idea but hope it gives you some options
Terra 4y ago
Isnt the closure letting her know why?
Misstheoldtrp 4y ago
No this is perfect, I appreciate the thoroughness. She’s asked me to go on a trip with her so that could be a great time.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
1) If there was no reason for her to lie, that's a negative.
2) If you asked her any kind of question in which she felt the need to lie that's kind of on you in a way.
Example
1) girl: my n count is 10 (she's says it on her own, not even asked about it). Then later she says it's 30. Not good.
2) guy: what's you're n count?
See, in the second example, the guy is asking something that is going to force a defensive lie. In the first example, she's just lying to distort your perception, rather than defend against your perception
Misstheoldtrp 4y ago
Nope, she un promptly told me she’s “dropped her roster” for me and hopes I’m doing the same (to which I didn’t directly answer and more so made a joke). Also said she was going somewhere with a coworker when it was this other guy when we first started hanging out.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
That's a negative
Sounds like she was trying to bait you into dropping your roster while evaluating you for commitment, before actually trying to commit.
On top of that, she called him a coworker. Not even a friend lie, COWORKER. Imagine you LTR her. Every time she uses the word coworker, you'll subconsciously wonder if they are fucking or actually from the same job
Wouldn't LTR in my opinion. This is a subtle lie but the way she lied would will instill mind games every time she mentions someone that you'd otherwise think was platonic/not cheating down the line
I would never be able to trust a girl in a relationship again after a lie like that
Jakeyg 4y ago
I’ve got something slightly similar she lied to me about a guy she slept with 2 days before our first ever date.?? Said she hadn’t been with someone in months when I asked her at the time… First said they just had drink and then went came out that they fucked.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
I'm gonna say this is on you. You asked a question that was surely going to get a trickle truth. No girl is gonna answer that honestly, it's hard to ask her a question that has an inherently slutty answer that she's going to avoid
That's why I don't ask those kinds of questions unless the girl is super drunk and won't remember I asked. They almost always defensively lie about it
My plate kind of lied to me lol. I didn't even ask her if she'd ever previously used tinder before, she just started saying she did for like a week and then deleted it. Made it sound like she just browsed it for a week and then lost interest in it.well she fucked a guy on it. I didn't even ask her. She just told me these details at two separate time points.
This is what women do, they don't want to look like sluts
Misstheoldtrp 4y ago
Appreciate the feedback, 100% agree I wouldn’t be able to LTR for this among other things. Per my other comment above, I’m basically deciding between just keeping strictly as a plate or making her admit the lie (she’s been clearly spoiled her whole life and seems like she always gets away with this shit, so would be nice to break that - don’t really care if it ends after).
hornetsfalcons12 4y ago
Lying is 100% a relationship dealbreaker. Don’t commit to her.
My only question is if you’re being upfront as well. Do these women know that you’re getting kicks on the side?
Misstheoldtrp 4y ago
No, I haven’t lied about it but haven’t been open about it, thus I know my hypocrisy. I haven’t “proved” that she has lied (well, besides the concert thing) but this dude always texts her super late and comments weird shit on her socials, so I’m not dumb that’s just the way the world works. She also says too much shit that doesn’t make sense so I’m assuming a handful of those statements are insignificant lies.
hornetsfalcons12 4y ago
I mean it’s different. You never brought it up. She explicitly said she wasn’t seeing other men. Maybe in the future, being upfront is better, but I wouldn’t call you a hypocrite here.
hornetsfalcons12 4y ago
Also, even if you were a hypocrite, I still think this is a dealbreaker. If she told you that she was only seeing you, but was seeing a bunch of other men on the side in the event that this falls through, there’s no reason to trust that she won’t keep a few other Chad’s in her back pocket.
If you’ve had even a fraction of the success with women sexually that you’re saying, I’m fairly certain that she wouldn’t care about your plate spinning anyway. You’re like a final boss; get a guy who has no reason to commit to one woman to commit (beyond the normal reasons like starting a family) is a major achievement.
But yeah, if you did lie (which you didn’t), that wouldn’t excuse her own behavior. Just something that a guy who feels the need to deceive his woman has to work out on his own.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
You should care if you're considering "settling down" with her.
Anything excelt LTR
Don't give a shit....... AWALT
TriumphoftheSwill 4y ago
Here's the thing about women lying; they don't see reality the way men do so what to the rest of the world is a lie, women don't see it that way. Rather than see things as they are, they only see what they want or feel. Everything revolves around them and what they see and feel and they deny everything else.
Lying is a part of women's DNA. It's in everything they do and everything they think. Even when she's happy and not conniving she is still lying. This is actually a very complex topic and goes very deep. I'm not even angry or hateful, women lie about everything constantly, all the time, in everything they do. Everything from their clothes, to their pasts, their makeup, their relationships, weight, diet, everything. It's all bullshit.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
She sounds like a hoe, my dude. My wife has been consistent in everything for 17yrs.
Terra 4y ago
Hmmm... That opens so many options to bust your balls
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Yup, she definitely got her shit pushed in.