So before I got to the Redpill I was quite heavily reading into that whole "self-improvement"(SI) stuff with charisma, confidence, social skills and all that shit. (mainly on quora at the time) I also got familiar with the concept of dominance hierarchies among men and that you have to be a "high status male" in order to be attractive and popular. (I didn't get this from JBP first, although the people who wrote about it might have been influenced by him.) It was actually quite groundbreaking for me, bc. that was a good explanation on why I wasn't that popular (both with guys and girls). So I had (or thought I had) a causation for that and naturally I wanted to fix it.
I based my whole SI-journey on becoming "high status", dominant and just in general in the best social position.
Now, this wasn't really the best thing to do (which might be more obvious for a RP guy, but at the time I didn't know any better). I started to "hunt for validation", being focused on others, was anxious about my social position and you could say I lost my mental point of origin more and more. I was basically hyper-aware of my current social position all the time and neurotically trying to keep it up.
I don't know, whether you guys have any experience with sth. like this, but if you do, sharing those is greatly appreciated.
I need some input on how I can "forget" this whole way of thinking. I still catch myself slipping into it and I start to get anxious and neurotic when things don't go 100% as planned, which is stupid because it paralyzes me very often. I'm not able to effectively deal with stress, amoging, shit I get thrown at or just social pressure in general.
All your thoughts are appreciated. I really wanna get this behind me.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
I mean, it's not wrong. The higher up on the hierarchy you are the better you'll do. (Low value thugs being great with women is a whole other story but I'm assuming we're not referring to that kind of "alpha male")
But I think what's going on here is that you are placing too much value in social position. There are a lot of contextual statuses people have. A blue-collar worker that shows up looking ripped, has charisma, and is socially influencial is still going to do better than Billy Beta the CEO
I think you should just simply place less emphasis on hierarchies than you are. I never (nor do most guys on here I'd imagine) walk around thinking about hierarchy. We just treat SMV like a sliding scale. You're putting yourself into all the uneccesary boxes.
Back to my CEO example. A CEO of a fantastic company might have hierarchical advantage in a lot of contexts, but then he shows up to a pickup basketball game and is by far the worst player there, his hierarchical position vanishes.
Focus on SMV, not hierarchy
Boosted_Arrow 4y ago
That's true. What I've also seen is that ppl that are "higher up" on one hierarchy tend to be able to rise other hierarchies extremely fast (or even enter them directly there).
Anyway, I simply don't know how I can turn this way of thinking off.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
Stay out of my hood before I shank you guys first, that is if my pants don't sag too far and trip me while u tryna stab me mayne
No-Stress-Cat 2 4y ago
Sagging makes one a good target for a massive wedgie. Lift, and lift heavy.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
If you're not in the USA to see it, then yes. Yes they do
wswZtyqNGQ 4y ago
This is why shit tests work.
It sounds like your theory is strong but your operations are weak. This is the simplest thing to change (though not necessarily the easiest), since you just have to do the work and gain experience. Time to hit the streets/clubs/parties/scenes, etc. Take short breaks to destress. Get so used to socializing that shit tests aren't effective any more.
Boosted_Arrow 4y ago
I agree. I also figured out that I need more challenges. Controlled challenges for that matter, so that I can practise for that kind of endeavor. I actually started wandering the streets on friday night (that's when the night life is the most active in my city). Doing more like going to party/clubbing doesn't interest me, when I have to go alone.
The thing is, I have no clue how I can pass those shit tests. Right now I constantly among people. (With the ppl I study for the upcoming university-exams)
whytehorse2021 4y ago
I think you have to keep it real. Most of the stuff you see on social media is fake. So are you comparing yourself to something real or fake? Is it fake status or real status?
Boosted_Arrow 4y ago
No not social media, it was always what I saw directly in real life, that being the classroom or the dojo. I don't have that much of a problem with social media. (As in I know everyone is jsut flexing on there. I also jsut used insta to look at memes and stuff.)
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Well it is one of the laws of power that reputation is everything so you're not wrong to protect it.
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Boosted_Arrow 4y ago
true, but the main domain I actually saw these d. hierarchies play out (and I instantly knew they were not complete BS) was the karate dojo. (I already talked about that in other posts, but I was participating with the national team in international championships) So most of the awareness and anxiety might stem from there.
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Boosted_Arrow 4y ago
Kinda, the national squad is a closed group. You could say it was a little family on its own. So everyone knew each other and it was a hierarchy of it's own so to speak.
I went to high school at the time and things were actually quite similar. I saw the things I read on hierarchies directly playing out in real life in multiple realms for that matter.
I wouldn't say it's my "fault" per se, but the main causation for it might be my mindset. So this is attracting this.
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