So she hasn't been fulfilling my needs and I nexted her. Went cold for awhile. Didn't engage in all her clingy attempts to bring me back. We've dealt with alot of issues and she's only ever made incremental change. So I was done, ready to move on.
Recently, I layed off the no contact and gave her a brief texts letting her know where I stood. I was pretty clear that this wasn't working for me. Later that day we both attended a function. I played it cool, didn't show any emotion. Just regular me. In doing so, I made a big dick joke. Something was a tight fit and I was like "story of my life". Haha. She then decided to make her own comments "you wish... no way...etc". I ignored it, and didn't get upset or defensive as we were around people and that would validate it. They know we dated/are dating.
Later, after the function, she invited me to lunch. I declined. She then sent me a very long pleading message about how she's been doing research and promises to fix our issues. Yeah ok. I've heard that one before. I told her I wasn't interested. She had a little bit of my attention but completely lost it by publicly insulting me on a topic we've discussed before. I'm average size, not terribly self concious, but girls know that's a sensitive topic for guys and love to push buttons so I've lost some confidence there. Anyway, I told her no, told her off. She still pleaded, offering me things she denied me in the relationship.
What do you make of this weirdness? Did she try to neg me? In my mind, it's the equivalent of calling a bitch fat and then trying to get with her. It reeks of manipulation. I can't get it off my mind.
HardTruth 3y ago
She sounds like a rude disrespectful cunt. Just cut it off and save yourself the wasted time and aggravation. Trust me, I’ve been there. Your time and emotional energy is precious and she is not appreciative of it. AS SOON AS YOU SAY YES TO HER, she’ll be treating you like shit probably 85% of the time. She sounds like one of those girls.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
None of it matters...... she fucked up, NEXT.
Terra 3y ago
You could be more explicit
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
(she hasn't been fulfilling my needs) that say's a lot.
what are the issues? quality of sex, frequency, relationship , personality,etc.
(we've dealt with a lot of issues) no girl will be perfect, but you got to figure out if she's adding value to your life or not
(she's only made incremental change). So she's making some adjustments, but is it enough and fast enough?
Don't expect people to change, you'll likely be very disappointed , and they can fake it for a time and then revert back to their true way's. If she did make adjustments, that's promising but again, there's only so much people will change and you can't count on it. Another caveat, the younger you guys are the more change that could be tolerated. Young and learning. The older you are, the less people will change.
(Did she neg you) yes, she did, in one of the most hurtful ways to a man. Equal to telling a woman she's not pretty, see how that goes over. Think about that also.
Guy456 3y ago
Issues are a shitty attitude about doing things I ask, lack of BJs, repeated disrespect despite correction
She makes does what's needed to get me back, then no further. The problem occurs again, just like you're saying.
How should I handle her negging internally? I'm pretty certain that's unacceptable behavior for me and there's 0 chance of going back after that, despite her promises and supposed new outlook.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
It doesn't sound like this girl is adding value to your life. she's doing the minimal she can to keep you in check.
The longer your relationship continues, the less you can expect her to do. She seems the type to "assume" she's got your balls in her hand.
It's really something you need to reflect on, is she worth it, is there better out there,etc. The younger you are, the less experienced, then the more likely you need to get that experience, to see, that yourself. The good, the bad, the ugly. In this case, it seems and most relationships in general, it's a lot of mediocre, do not settle for mediocre.
How to handle the negging, internally? It's a shit test, or disrespect, in my book it's the same. Likely caused by a woman who herself is not very satisfied in the relationship and thinks she can do better. Is not worried about losing you. Of course, women only want to leave the relationship on (their) terms, and quite often involves branch swinging. So, she can feign making up for her disrespect, until she finds someone better to move to.
How do I handle a women shit testing me, negging me? I usually move on pretty quick, I like low maintenance relationships where it's clear she's into me. Not worth my time otherwise, but thats IMO. If it's new in the relationship, I certainly explain my expectations about it and give them a chance. My expectations usually result in shock/disbelief on some of them, which is ok, that's a good filtering mechanism.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
This LTR isn't working. Time to accept that. Fuck new chicks so that at least you have a chance of finding one that better satisfies and better compliments your life.
Imagine if a woman kept trying to convince her drug addict bf to change he never did. Why would she stay with him? Why do you stay with her?
And fuck that joke, you're taking it too hard. Girls seem to like average over huge. I think what you're packing is just fine, if not better, than monster dick. Don't take that as an insult despite it being a "sensitive topic for men".
Edit: she shouldn't have made the joke in public, but no one was reading into it the way you think. No one is probably like "oh Guy456 has a lil dick!" When couples joke about that stuff it's implied to bystanders that it's a joke. They probably thought you were packing as a result of her joke. Especially if she delivered it as a joke
Fazep00p5 3y ago
If you're done you're done. You didn't act like an asshole yet you stood for what you're worth, that's pretty much an alpha attitude. Block her
aldabruzzo 3y ago
This isn't weird. This is very simply a woman realizing what she's lost and is trying to get you back. This is
--Man being done with shitty relationship
--woman promising to fix things
--woman tries to show her "equality" by making a joke about your dick size
--woman pleads in last ditch attempt to show 'submission'
this is something women commonly do. They make fun of their men by "getting their dicks out" and trying to "run with the big boys" by busting your balls. This is not attractive woman behavior. One of the last things you ever want from your woman is for her to try to be "one of the guys" by busting your balls. We all know what ballbusting is- among male friends, it's good natured ribbing and poking fun with little cutdowns. Among male friends, it's a sign of affection. You give as good as you get.
Men are allowed to do that with each other. Women are not allowed to do that with men.
My male friends are allowed to bust my balls. They are the ONLY people allowed to bust my balls. Also, if you bust my balls, that gives me standing consent to bust your balls in return.
Men who are not my friends are not allowed to bust my balls. Women are not allowed to bust my balls. Exceptions: The very, very rare woman who really is "one of the guys". But again- if she busts my balls, I get to bust her balls. And she does not get to complain about it at all. I do not do this with women, because women have a propensity to shriek "DHMIAG" (Don't hit me, I'm a girl!). Women have a predilection to trying to act like "one of the guys" when it suits them and wailing "but I'm just a wee widdle girl and you have to treat me special!" when it suits them. This is why it's generally a bad idea to have a woman around who claims to be "one of the guys".
Yeah, she was trying to bust your balls. Don't ever let a woman bust your balls- because if you do, you have to bust hers right back.
Mark69 3y ago
Was this via SMS texting or via messaging on a social media app?
Lone_Ranger 3 3y ago
It's just remarkable the number of women that think that shaming a man about the size of their penis is ok. I think that alone tells you all you need to know about this woman. Move on. Block and move on.