Look I fucked up, shouldn't have dated someone from work.
She is the hottest girl I've ever dated and I liked the attention and people knowing that she was mine, but truly, she was a terrible person. She never made me feel wanted and she always critiqued every little thing about me which made me feel like I wasn't good enough for her.
She ended things about a month ago and told me I was never assertive or aggressive enough and that she isn't physically attracted to me (ouch).
So we haven't talked in a month, but we see each other briefly at work every day and it sucks. She tries getting under my skin and it's working.
I come back to the building after lunch and see her outside with some coworkers looking hot as all fuck and it pisses me off because I want to plow her shit but she destroyed my confidence telling me she isn't physically attracted to me and now I feel doomed to rail ugly hoes from dating apps.
I get so heated when I see her, I feel like lashing out and making a scene but I know that will only give her satisfaction.
I am looking for a new job, I'm back in the gym lifting weights (even though I'm small af right now).
I would never take her back as a potential LTR but I want to fuck and let her know how terrible of a person she is. I don't know what to do because work sucks now and I need her to go the fuck away.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
OK, it sounds like you were her build-a-man. She picked a lower SMV guy with potential and then nags him into upping his SMV. Just take it as a compliment that she saw your potential to be GigaChad. Take it as a huge red flag that she is a nag. Bullet dodged.
As for dealing with her at work, just treat it like shit tests. She wants to know that she was right to reject you as a beta. Every time you fail her shit tests it just confirms her suspicion. The best revenge would be you become alpha and then you're the one that got away. https://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
I remember your post? Didn't you fail.to be assertive and escalate properly when you had her in your bed etc? Don't hate her for your own hesitancies during opportunities you have had
Keep looking for new work, this was something you chose to engage in. Resenting her for your choices is a poor path to walk
NEPat10 4y ago
That was me.
What should I have done differently? She stopped while I was escalating because she was worried about my intentions with her. At the time I wanted a relationship with her so I caved and forfeited sex that night.
I hate her because she pursued me and made me feel wanted, and once I got her to go out with me, she turned and voiced every insecurity I have about myself and made me feel like I wasn't good enough. She ridiculed my hair, my glasses, my pale skin, my body frame, my clothes, then my personality by telling me I wasn't assertive enough.
She made me feel like anything I did was going to put her off so she never got to see the real me.
She has the emotional maturity of a high school kid when it came to sex. She would cry when I wouldn't get hard after a minute. She strokes me a few times while my cock is dry and then expects me to be able to put it in while her pussy isn't even wet? That hurt my dick and killed my boner and then she would cry thinking I wasn't attracted to her.
I just think it's valid to be mad at her because she labelled me wrongfully due to her own expectations and if she let me be me, this wouldn't have happened and we would still be seeing each other.
I know I'm rambling, I just can't resolve this by thinking I was in the wrong and she was right.
Diabs 4y ago
Hahaha this is what my relationship with my ex was like. Funny to read just keep going once you move forward you will look back like me. These experiences help you to learn not to take shit from stupid bitches like this. Once your confident in yourself they don't dish out as much in the first place and when they do it kinda just slides off you and you just tell em to shut up like they are an annoying kid and laugh. That's what I do with my girlfriend if she is getting sulky or bossy.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
She's damaged goods. Get away, and keep reading the sidebar and applying it, so you dont get the short end of the stick in such situations later on.
[deleted] 4y ago
[--removed--]
NEPat10 4y ago
Yeah I just looked this up, and this is exactly what I experienced with her. She pursued me and made me feel desired, once she had me all she would do is knock me down while I tried to fix things and finally have a happy night out together, but by then it was too late, she was already done with me.
It completely fits with her appearance habits. Constantly tanning, fake eyelashes, nail appointments every few weeks, etc.
Terra 4y ago
I will only say. If.there's.some agreement on her being narcissistic, then strat to record all conversations. Pull Johnny on her just in case.
I would go as far as rec whole day as it takes little storage and likely you'll be deleting it if nothing happens.
Just save the bits where she tells u, shell shit on your bed, unless you like.it and its foreplay.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
I don't know how your escalation went in the bedroom. How you escalate can matter a lot. I don't know how it went or if you tried to penetrate too soon etc. I don't know what the mood was going into the whole thing, the foreplay, etc
These are all factors that make it difficult to answer your question without exactly knowing.
Also, she sounds fucking crazy. Be thankful she turned you down, holy shit she sounds like a nightmare. You lucked out, who cares if she's hot, she's insane
NEPat10 4y ago
Actually really great to hear from other guys how crazy she sounds. Too often I would try to reconcile with her because she would twist things around to fit her own distorted views of things.
Just trying to move past the fact that I still want her despite all the bullshit I put up with from her.
Thanks for the responses on my last post and this post, you're the man.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Men are attracted to the hot+crazy women instinctively. It's usually borderline personality disorder or narcissism. This is a short term mating strategy that proved successful, evolutionarily, in times of scarce resources. The intense emotions cause stronger bonding but for shorter duration.
According to Life History Theory, BPD reflects a pathological extreme or distortion of a behavioral ‘strategy’ which unconsciously aims at immediate exploitation of resources, both interpersonal and material, based on predictions shaped by early developmental experiences.
Adaptationist evolutionary theory posits that narcissism emerged as a variation of trait dominance through changes in mating preferences towards short-term mating (Campbell & Miller, 2011). Men have showcased more interest in short-term mating relationships compared to women (Buss & Schmitt, 1993).
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
No problem man, I hope I'm not too blunt. Yeah, for sure, escalating with a girl shouldn't include all the bullshit she was giving you. She sounds like she's off some meds or needs to be on some