I am logged in to LTR’s Instagram (without her knowledge) and keep checking what she’s been up to every now and then. She has zero posts and basically just views celebrity gossip, romance stuff, and chatting her girl friends. Recently while we were not speaking, I noticed that she searched and followed a guy. They share lots of followers, especially people she went to high school with. There isn’t much on this guy as he just has a single post. I would not have given much thought to it until I checked again and saw that she deleted it from her search history. This prompted me to check her activity log on Facebook, where I saw she searched her high school boyfriend a couple of times. She had told me about it and said it was nothing serious since they were kids and no sexual relations happened between them. How should I go about this? Should this be grounds to break the relationship? Girl is otherwise near perfect; feminine, lives with parents and does things for me.
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tenfour 3y ago
things they try to hide are so much more valuable then those those they want to show.
Why would she delete anything in panic if she doesn't know you can see her accounts or you do not check them with her permission on occasions?
PS Although there is plenty of options to check login sessions to see someone was spying
w4iks 3y ago
Would be much of a red flag if she hadn’t deleted tbh. Probably because she knew I would see it. Every time I want to raise an issue I’ve seen on her SM, we’ll be doing stuff on her phone and then I’ll see something “by accident” then ask about it. I don’t think she has checked how many active sessions she has.
[deleted] 3y ago
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Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
how old are you? early 20's?
View from an old guy.
she's young, she's looking for options , still not done having fun. It may have been just seeing what a past love was up to, but generally it's more than that. She's probably wondering if she's "missing" something , FOMO type shit.
Like any relationship, assume it won't last, have fun with her, in every way you want. Don't invest in the relationship , financially.
You keep fit, and keep your options open also. If you are in early 20's, I wouldn't even bother LTR a girl, plates only.
w4iks 3y ago
I am 26, she’s 22. I would honestly consider myself better than the men she’s come across in a lot of fields. She openly says this too. I have always been gaming other girls. I’m not invested financially, apart from the money I spend on dates and occasional uber money. My life spiraled a bit out of control the past two months (lost money in crypto, bank accounts frozen and I got slightly out of shape) I don’t know if this has something to do with it but I’m back on track now. I am the type to disappear every time my life is not in order so we weren’t talking.
Scorpion69_ 3y ago
if u slipped out a bit and shes searching for that guy, casually at the exact same time, then its probably because of it, specially the "out of shape" stuff
w4iks 3y ago
I always slip out every time I’m having my own issues, figuring I don’t want her to see me when I’m down and I don’t staying in contact with no action is any good. She already said she hates it when I go for a week or more without talking to her and it gets her doubting my feelings for her.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
oh, for sure, if she knew about that shit (lost money, money issues) along with getting out of shape. She's reviewing her options again, count on it.
she's 22, my hot guy is not so hot anymore, it's automatic at that age
If you also checked out of relationship, I mean seriously, what would you expect her to do? Would you put up with her doing that? got to be honest with yourself
w4iks 3y ago
Definitely wouldn’t put up with her doing most of the shit I do in the relationship lol. What do you think is the best approach? My normal way is usually to disappear and only reappear once I’m on top of my game, but the period and distance doesn’t seem to be working in my favor here. Also, she’ll be ovulating this weekend
w4iks 3y ago
I actually just remembered the last time we hangout she said that she used to think I’m really “boujie” initially. I don’t know what to make of this.
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Bulba 3y ago
She's obviously wondering what she's missing out and if she can do better than you.
Both of you probably have about the same SMV. Where did you meet this girl?
w4iks 3y ago
Met her at a friend’s gathering at the beginning of last year. I would say my smv is slightly higher than hers.
hannulv 3y ago
Have fun with her. Don't get attached.
When you remove time and attention it is a punishment. This is your behavioral conditioning tool. Using it incorrectly is training the dog to go look for food other places.
You sound like a bit of a dancing monkey and it sounds exhausting. The fact that you have to be "on top of your game" to interact with her sounds like you're putting on show and needy. You need to become more dominant and stop giving a fuck.
If a big drunk smelly dirty unemployed fat guy can bark at his hot girl to suck his cock after accidentally shitting his pants (true story) and she obediently gets on her knees, you can learn how to be around girls without putting on a show.
w4iks 3y ago
I agree that maybe I do misuse punishment tool. I’ll change this and only use it when necessary. It’s not that I’m putting on a show, I would just rather be alone when going through rough patches. I disappear from friends and family as well. I might have some fault into how this came to be, but I still need to get to the bottom of the current situation.
Durek_The_Bald 3y ago
This is a story I'd like to hear.
Hanscheezburger 3y ago
How would you do it "correctly" when you're genuinely busy though?
I barely text or contact any plate, barely replies. They seem to think it's because I'm punishing them for something but I just don't have the patience to reply to pointless texts.