Me and a friend are into RP. He chose to spin plates, I eventually chose to commit to a groomed girl. Sex is off the pedestal for both of us.
So the question to the experienced rp'ers: are you in a public committed LTR (with or without some action on the side)?
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Oh fuck no
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
I've lost faith in commited relationships and I just turned 30.
Just in the past month alone:
1) a girl I initially thought had a bunch of green flags (which is very rare for me) and turned out to just be a regular day-time, whiskey-drinking club slut with your regular red flags. Never did anything with her but she piqued my interest the first few times I ran into her and now I'm disgusted by her.
2) had a married women spend 2 and a half hours with me on and off the dance floor talking shit about her husband and flirting and touching me
3) had a married girl wait till after she was touching me, talking to me, and giving me her phone number for us go get drinks some time finally tell me she was married as we were trading numbers
4) had a girl with a bf asking me if she was my type etc while she practically pinned herself against me with her body at a bar. I knew her bf too. She then approached a bunch of guys, got free drinks from them and let them touch her ass, back, and hands for minutes straight.
She acted like nothing happened when she was with him at a group gathering the next day.
5) I sat in the car of a girl with a boyfriend of 1.5 years last night after dancing with her for half an hour and building chemistry. She didn't even tell me she had a BF until I was in her car and she was applying chapstick, laying her seat back, and spraying perfume across her tits
When the sad fuck she was living with called her at 4am, she told me to not talk. I didn't do anything with her (the conversation we were having was just intriguing as fuck) but it was fucking sad what she was doing.
She shit talked him a good part of our conversation and said she deserves better and can get any other guy that wants her and could leave him on a dimes notice.
Apirt from the first girl, these were all someone's girlfriend or wives. I don't have a lick of faith in relationships at this moment
[deleted] 3y ago
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Lol, I just realized that all my examples are from the dance places. I'm not sure how biased against relationships I'd be If I were meeting girls other ways. Even in a singles group I'm in they are all whores.
Girls seem to be whores nowadays, even if they hide it well
[deleted] 3y ago
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rp_nc 3y ago
That's why you should groom excessively I guess. But the common factors between all of those: they're not with a high value man and/or have the wrong values.
Do you have an extended friends group? Do you ever get lonely?
wswZtyqNGQ 3y ago
You have a bias because you're making the assumption that these LTR men must be beta. Why can't you assume that they could be alpha and that all of these women are simply cheating, as the OP implied? Your post seems like a staged question to me.
rp_nc 3y ago
why would she cheat with a lower value guy? only if her values are feministic and she believes fucking around is good for her. but still, hypergamy is not 'fuck around', hypergamy is 'trade up' / only cheat if the other guy is higher value (else it would be reels > feels ,which is not the case). of course her value assessment of other men could be distorted where as she knows them longer, they're not as high value as her first impression of them. but that doesn't invalidate my point. it would just mean she branch swung to a lesser branch that looked better at first, and then will want to come back to the first branch.
in short: hypergamy: a well groomed woman will only cheat with higher value men.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Girl 1 was bitter at her ex
Wife 2 had a neglectful husband who didn't help her with kids and asked her for a separation
Wife 3, husband doesn't dance and she sounded bored or stale
GF 4, bf was my friend, dude is game and RP aware but has gotten in trouble by overtly gaming girls in front of her. Think she was mad
Gf5, guy did actually sound beta AF. Ye groveled on the phone. Was not a strong vibe at all
amazonri 3y ago
Unfortunately this is why i have trust issues. I am not insecure at all, but when my ltr is the least bit shady i assume the worst, its not healthy for the man to assume the worst like that.
Like you, i developed that from being on the other side. But its not an insecurity thing.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Exactly, it's not an insecurity thing, it's inside knowledge. The girl in the car particularly got me. She was such a bad liar on the phone. Her story didn't even add up and he bought it. Seeing a shady story roll out like that in real time knowing exactly where she was and what she was doing at the time of that story was a really foul-tasting red pill to be honest
Skev77 3y ago
The is what TRP is my brothers. I can remember when I was blue and my gf would tell me she’s at x place and it was believable. Wether she was honest or not, I couldn’t get pass my gut instincts and ended that relationship swiftly. And mind you that was when I was blue imagine me now lol.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Yeah man, good for you. being on the other side of the coin as the guy she is being sketch with is definitely enough of an eye opener to do gut checks when being told where she is
Insnspst 3y ago
I'm in a similar situation. I also have a friend who is RP and has an LTR. After braking up with my LTR in 2017, I have discovered RP through him and we have discussed and learned a lot of RP theory together.
As said he eventually has chosen for a LTR and had a kid now. And I'm the guy who's spinning plates and is traveling the world. And we are both jealous of each others lives, although I feel he is more content in life.
For myself sex is of the pedestal and when I'm dating I usually don't see the point of it anymore. And when I do find motivation to push it untill sex, the post nut clarity kickes in, giving me a bad feeling. Thinking that I shouldn't have seduced her into this, as she will become emotionally invested. Also because I had sex with her I usually totally lose attraction to her (goal reached?). So after a few years of feeling good with spinning plates, I have come to the moment that I'm in some kind of midlife crisis trying to rediscover my values. Sometimes I think I have messed up my own values, due to trp. As I took those of TRP and neglecting mine. Also looking back, I believe I should have tried to promote a plate into an LTR. At that point I wasn't even considering an LTR, I was focused on spinning plates as advocated here. Now I feel spinning plates has made me a red flag, emotionally disconnected form everyone.
My friend is married now, has a kid and 2nd one is on the way. He has found a good house wife who is taking care of rising the kid and committed to house held duties. Also he has put sex of the pedestal, he has had some fun with his highschool crush while he was in the LTR. But also there the chase was better than the catch. So after a few times he didn't feel like continuing the plate on the side.
Still evaluating the situation, but my conclusion at the moment is that it is best to use trp truths to your advantage to find a good LTR and build a family. As Jordan Peterson says family and friends are important, it gives meaning to life. As where I feel less and less connected with others, with every new plate. Also disappointing plates who are emotionally invested isn't something that makes me happy.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
a grounded view of things.
Yes, family/kids is a strong drive for many of us. Having gone through it before the RP. Only advice I can give is to always keep RP in view and also protect yourself, your assets.
Don't let her know your finances prior to commiting and make it appear you have much less than you do, live below your means. A way to show if she's interested in you or your assets
when committed, same, make her pay her way, 50/50, don't share purchases.
When moving to next step/marriage, (I don't recommend)
Prenup (which can't be 100% counted on), hide money again, never let her know what you actually have, hide it.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Yes. Married 18 years.
Skev77 3y ago
If I even feel the strong need for kids (because marriage always been for the kids in terms of my values) I wouldn’t be opposed to doing it how you do it. I think you should speak to a moderator here so your way of doing things is added to the side bar or sum. A lot of guys on this forum say no marriage etc and by 30 start to panic. It would help a lot of ppl.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Foreign brides are a well known thing. Western women are the ones behind shaming men for it. Same with dating younger women. Imagine a guy with a younger, foreign bride, lol. Once men figure out that practically any woman on the planet can perform the role of wife and mother of their kids, it's a no brainer to skip over Western women. My big fat Indonesian wedding had hundreds of people attend and it cost me $500. My wife's dowery(required in Islam) was $10.
I think the reason most guys don't do the foreign bride thing is because of how much is involved. I also think they don't realize the huge payoff for that work. Learning new languages and cultures, travel, visas, LDRs, and vetting is a very involved process.
MrSupreme 3y ago
Hells no,not yet at least but I don't trust ladies the same way I used to
Skev77 3y ago
Yea u probably went from blue to red. I always think where would (mentally) I be if I stayed blue even though I’m approaching a year being exposed to TRP.