So I was in a 6 year relationship that really jaded me, so after it ended I basically spent a year being depressed and not wanting to date at all, because I figured it would go the same way. Self esteem issues, why get a pretty great girl when it's just going to fall apart and hurt you both? Chicks are nuts and there is no way to reason with them, so why try?
Anyway I've been really focusing on taking care of myself and my goals these last 6 months. The last 6 months have been uber stressful with a lot of life transitions and stress, so my self esteem was not in a place where I felt I could meet girls. For example:
Potential New Girl: So what has been going on with you lately?
Me: Well I haven't had a real job in like 2 years. I am living in my ex's and mines house that we bought together. She is engaged to my friend from college-they started dating about 2 weeks after we split up. My mom passed a few months ago. I watch a lot of porn. I'll be homeless in like 2 months unless I find a place to rent. Certainly you've heard enough.
Obviously none of that is a good pickup line but it's also hard to feel good under those circumstances lol.
So because of all that I have not at all been actually trying to get chicks for the most part, actually avoiding most of them for the above reasons. I spent the last 3 or so months doing a marathon on renovating the house it sold and made a killing because of it. I got myself a very nice place in a very fun area (bars/restaurants less than a block away), I'm in the best shape of my life and I look and feel like a greek god. I've been breaking out of bad cycles that have kept me stuck(crazy family). I also bought myself a super fun sports car. I'm also getting really into hobbies I've always enjoyed and new ones as well. I haven't focused on the job search because I knew fixing up the house was the quickest way for a big payday. But even without really looking I've gotten 2 offers with solid companies making good money. I didn't even let them interview me, I just interviewed them. My confidence is through the roof. I've always been pretty confident, but having the realization of "Holy shit, I've always thought everyone else had really bad ideas about everything, but guess what I've been right the WHOLE TIME". Confidence isn't even the right word, arrogance is. Just look at the title of this post. I even started going to a therapist, which sure I should have done a while ago but I just started so here we are.
I didn't do all this shit for the chicks, I did it because I was focusing on me, and I feel GREAT.
But holy hell. I can't go anywhere without getting attention from chicks of all ages, and I have ZERO idea what to do lol. Since my ex and I split up I haven't actually been on a date, so its been like 8 years since I was actually open to meeting women. I never had trouble in that department but shit am I rusty. I never realized how conditioned I have become to just not making eye contact with women, or avoiding them entirely. There has been numerous times in my life where me being friendly with girls has gotten me into shitty situations. Numerous of my close guy friends girls have made it clear in the past that they would leave their man for me. I've never done anything (not even a kiss, nada), mostly because I am a loyal guy to whoever I am with as well as to my boys. But it has cost me close friendships on numerous occasions, just because they are being obvious. So for a very long time I have just had the eyes down approach, because it is the best way to stay out of trouble. Keep 'em a arms distance. And that was before my recent substantial increase in attractiveness.
But now that I'm doing me, it is difficult to actually get anything done. I went to the hardware store to buy something, and I was wearing a workout shirt. I had at least 5 women hovering around me of all ages, trying to get my attention in someway, but I'm just trying to get my parts and leave because I'm in the middle of a project. Go to the coffee shop a block up the road to work on stuff? Good luck. I'm the new mysterious guy in the neighborhood with a sick car. New fun neighbors that are my age? The guy is really fun and the girl is stunning and we have more in common than I'd ever expect? She really wants to hangout and do stuff? She works from home, he doesn't, and she spends all day in her backyard? I DONT NEED THAT COMPLICATED SHIT NOW, I'M DOING ME. I know I am obviously overthinking this a ton, but to a certain extent I am not wrong. Me getting cozy with the new neighbors GF is not what I need for my headspace.
I have put myself out there a few times with girls that managed to break my laser focus and start a conversation with me. I've gotten a few phone numbers but got too excited and probably scared them off lol. Trying not to beat myself up about it, learning things, actually trying a BIT.
Guys I am literally tripping over my own dick left and right here. I'm also 32 and people think I am 25. I went to the mall for something and a bunch of high-school girls were following me around.
I know this is a very cliché midlife crisis post but I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I know I need to just own it and have the swagger of a guy who is top 1%, but god damn sometimes I just want to go to the store and not get followed around.
marduhhhy 1y ago
this post is gay af ! if you were so alpha you wouldnt be here stroking your own dick . youd be actually enjoying life instead of acting like you cant handle all this good shit goin on ! ( p.s. getting followed by high school girls isnt even bragging rights u sound like a mindless twat who thinks everything is about himself)
you are so high value that u hate being valued at the value that girls now see u ? maybe just deal with it….. not everything is about you ! regardless good job prioritizing your life but all men only have 1 dick . fuck as much as u can and get it over with lol
Gurren843 1y ago
cool story bro
Revoh 1y ago
You are too full of yourself it seems. Maybe drop your ego a few notches and be more humble, and you'll have better luck
[deleted]
[deleted] 1y ago
[--removed--]
JohnGalt69669 1y ago
The 6 year relationship was not celibate. I did not say 8 years since I had sex, I said 8 years since I was open to meeting new women and going on dates, because for 6 of those I was in a committed relationship.
I actually got laid last week. Just sitting at the bar with a buddy, doing nothing. She figured a way to sit next to me and started buying me shots and drinks. After about 15 minutes of that I took her back to my place. 22/23 years old, 7/10 short brunette.
Obviously I am not going to bang any highschoolers. But just not sure how to deal with the attention. My current system is to just pretend they do not exist. But it is weird when I am out for dinner with some friends and a group of HS girls go out of there way to sit at the table next to me and try to get my attention-just really not a good look.
Also a lot of these women are just doing things to get my attention is some way. I do not even have to do any approach myself. They just find reasons to be near me or ask me about some dumb shit. One girl stopped me at costco when I was making a run for some tools. She told me she had bought like 3 propane tanks but they were all empty. So I explained to her how to get it filled blah blah. Maybe she's and idiot and maybe she just wanted to talk to me. But after that she started asking me what I was looking for etc etc. Then when we split apart she said "Oh I'm Katie by the way" to get the convo going again. I asked if she wanted to get a drink sometime and she said yes, got her number, texted her once and got no response.
[deleted] 1y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted]
Durek_The_Bald 1y ago
Best of David Brent:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HYHlPEO1ujg
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Sorry, but I'm not Giga-Chad enough to be of assistance here. Maybe someone else with a 25-inch dick can relate better to your predicament
Bulba 1y ago
I'm laughing my ass off at the amount of downvotes you got. This is trolling done right
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I don't think Sundae even ever broke -10. This is some quality content
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Not sure if this is a troll post so I'll treat it as serious. I have similar problems when I am in Asia. It's like being a rock star. 100% of women are chasing 20% of men and approaching 4.5% of men. The easiest solution is to have a better looking friend with you. Another solution is to have a hot woman with you. Then there's the fake wedding ring trick but a lot of women will approach anyway.
Anyway, look on the bright side: at least you don't have ladyboys grabbing your dick every time you walk down the street. :)
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
Other than humblebragging, what's your question?
[deleted] 1y ago
[--removed--]