I am 22 living in a european capital city, good looking and got broken up after a 4yr relationship (on and off) a couple months back.
Initially when broken up I did the classic ritual of downloading all dating apps and hitting that swipe time. I found one and turned her into a fuckbuddy (although she fell in love) but I may move country soon so im not doing anything long term and she is at least 2 points below me (1-10).
Lots of matches but I work in the finance industry and have limited time during weekdays so hardly talk to any other except my booty call.
I still wasn’t over my ex but my usual coping mechanism of going on a fuck spree wasn’t that appealing for some reason. I can get 8s and 9s but I’ve become disillusioned with the nature of women and dont feel like its worth the effort, and the 5s-7s in the “I would fuck but not commit” range I dont feel are worth my time (after my ex that was a 9).
I recently switched over to the “hussle & make money” mentality of not going out and wanting to spend my free time setting up an e-commerce business. This drives me as being an entrepreneur is my purpose but I’ve been declining these last years into comfort and chasing pussy instead of chasing the bag.
My question comes now. I just got dm’ed by a couple of girls in my “would fuck” range that I matched with a while ago but stopped texting (as my focus was on my goals) that are asking me to meet up (obviously high interest). But I have lost my sexual appetite - dont get me wrong I still masturbate and link with the booty call, but I just think that my time is better spent on my business than wasting a weekend re-reading seduction material, prepping the date, getting drunk with her and waking up late on sunday (when i do my house duties - laundry, food shopping, cleaning…) and not advancing with my business. I have also developed narcissism.
Do you think that I am doing what I should be doing? Should I leave some time for dating and making use of my 20s?
Extra notes: Maybe my obsession with self improvement is a healthier coping mechanism than going on an empty fuck spree.
I have lived the last 4 years changing countries each one meaning I dont have a solid group of constant close friends and have developed the mentality that everyone is temporary (worsened by the break up).
For those thinking I still aren’t over my ex that is possible but it may also be that I just haven’t been with another 9 since. Since I started going hardcore with my business I basically forget about her so there are no conscious ill feelings.
I know this has turned into a cunty rambling of my thoughts but im interested in any opinions/thoughts you have on anything I said here
Thank you
benzino 3y ago
If you're not hungry don't force yourself to eat
Your 20s are best spent learning something, whether it be women, business, skills or whatever. Do what you want to do.
They are. We all are. Just different durations. Your parents will die at some point. Your wife either leaves you or dies before/after you. You yourself have an expiry date. Everything changes and coming to terms with this fact will make your life better. Amor fati
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
Going on a spree of easy sex doesnt help with that feeling IME. It's mostly the time away that helps, and subsequent relationships with at least some emotional value.
My advice is to only date in a way that is good for you. Getting drunk with a random booty call and waking up late, as you say, doesnt help you.
Only see girls who are interesting and fall into your frame easily. Plate them, then vet them for FWB/LTR potential. They should be giving you time to vet them on your terms.
When you like a plate upgrade her to FWB. Do things you like, and take her with you. Go lift, fish, shoot, hike, remodel an apartment, whatever.