TLDR: do you ever send a text / explain yourself by the end of a relationship to get closure for yourself?
I know, closure and all that it is is what women do, but bear with me.
Things ended a few days ago, with a girl I've been dating for the past year. FWB is the term for our relationship I guess, she was exclusive to me though.
We had The Talk for the 2nd time about a month ago (I actually told her the reasons to why I wouldn't commit) and for the past 2-3 weeks I have slowly been losing interest in her, so I have been acting pretty distant.
However, she came over the other day and after some time she said we had to talk. You know the drill, she said we couldn't go on like this, she felt like she had lost too much selfrespect (because I woulnd't commit to her), yada yada. Things ended.
Now, I don't feel ""heartbroken"" or sad, It was expected. However, I feel sick to my stomach because I feel like I did her wrong. She was very good to me; I went "cold" and then things ended very abruptly.
I guess I just want to let her know that I appreciated the time we had. I know that she wouldn't do the same for me and that she will find new dick in a few weeks, that's fine. Nonetheless, I think sending a short text message (I would ask her not to reply) would spare me a lot of headaches atm; putting a lid on the relationship for good.
I know people on here don't advocate giving women closure and I don't know why I'm asking strangers about this, since there is nothing to be saved or lost. However, any advice or experiences on how to part ways when things end in a "civilized" way is appreciated.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
No.
You didn't treat her badly...... she was good to you, you were good to her, then you wanted different things. All good.
"thanks for all the great times, you're awesome"
SeasonedRP 1y ago
Don't do anything. You'll come across like a sap. It's more attractive to her if you don't do anything and it helps maintain your self respect. Stop beating yourself up over this. You didn't do anything wrong. Not all relationships are meant to continue.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Here's your closure: The Talk is negotiating desire. It's no different than a man saying he's not going to pay for dinner unless the woman sleeps with him after. She said she's not going to sleep with you unless you pay for her forever. I don't blame you for rejecting that. It amounts to you being forced into a relationship you don't want to be in.
I don't think there's anything you can say at this point to bring closure. It is what it is and it ain't what it ain't. She thought she could back-door her way into a relationship through sex. It didn't work out for her. Oh well. Maybe she'll go and improve herself in other ways that would make a man want to keep her around and commit.
[deleted] 1y ago
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