So long history short I was living with my ex for 8 years, we have a daughter (didnt married but almost the same for the law here). She was a virgin, always loving and took care of me until the kid arrived, then shit started to wane with time. A year and half ago I was jobless and depressed, she had the brilliant idea to start flirting with "only girls" online and I discovered it (thats when I swallowed the red pill and found this) the day I discovered it she lied to my face until I got the truth out of her, almost snapped there and went pyshical but I withholded my sanity. After that she kinda "apologized" but it was my fault in her eyes cause I wasnt gaming her enough, took the bullet and we agreed to work again on us, I did improvements, got a new and better job, got more variety to our sex life and to be less of a pussy. But she was being the same as before, so I switched into full dread and improving my smv, then I discovered she had a secret ig (kinda new) and she was posting pictures of her legs and in front of a mirror and chats with only guys, I confronted her and once again it was my fault. look what she said: Me: how its my fault? She: I just need attention and people to say me Im beatiful Me: I always say that to you, that you are beatiful and I show you every time we have sex how much I desire you. She: Not sexual attention, just to be loved Me: So you are seeking love and company with a hot instagram and that kind of pictures? Come on.
We had a big fight, she didnt really apologize, I told our family about what she was doing and only then she apologized. We stayed together, but ny trust in her was broken, reading post here I became bitter about love, marriage and shit (in a good way). I started cheating.. hard with lot of girls and started withdrawing from the relation. Oh boy she switched 180° she started again to be kind with me, sex improved but lots of times i was the one "not in the mood" and she finally told me about wanting to have another kid.
In that moment I knew she was only being like this cause she was afraid of losing me or she was liking the shitty treatment in a twisted female way. I withdrawed more from the relation, got a young cute pussy of 19 that worships me (im 32, shes 27). Then she started to figure out what was happening and discovered I cheated on her, I went for honest with her and told her how many and what things I did with a poker face. She cried and I leaved the house, now fast formar 5 months since the and you have me. Im living with friends (we rented a big flat together) and the flat its a fuckfest, im fucking like I never did, but I feel empty, I need more, wheres love? Why are all woman douchbags that only love tou when youre a cunt? Im still fucking my ex when I go see my daughter but she always make a point about being only physical, cause she cant forgive me, that hurts me cause she wasnt a saint and I still dream with a family I destroyed cause she started being a cunt.
I know onetis, hard next, get more pussy, hit the gym... damn. I know these feelings or male hamstering are like 20 steps back.
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coolsocks00 1 1y ago
Good, nuanced take
whytehorse2021 1y ago
You seem to have red pill confused. You lost frame after the kid was born(typical). She advertised her sexual availability to other men on onlyfans or whatever. You regained frame by increasing your SMV and then using dread. She continued to advertise her sexual availability to other men. You demoted her to a plate. And now you feel empty.
I know why you feel empty. As men, we feel it is our purpose in life to have a family of our own. Women are systematically removing that option from us. I'm actually shocked she went from a virgin housewife to a hoe because the statistics totally don't support that outcome. I wonder if you throwing your cheating in her face broke her. Maybe this is on you. It would behoove you to investigate and look for possible ways for you two to reconcile. You don't sound like you have onitis. You sound like you regret breaking your family apart.
r3z01v 1y ago
This is the "twisted female mind":
Women are not rational. SHE FEELS stuff - before she acts, Then she rationalizes after the fact.
Stop expecting her to have agency. You create the relationship. You play her emotions like a guitar and make her swoon. Women very often want shit, but they can't act upon it because they don't feel it. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? Do you understand how deeply rooted this is in women? This is hard wired and genuinely fucks their life up, more than your fantasy.
The one that you don't know how to create? Or the disney fantasy?
Because only when you are a cunt you actually give her anything to react to. She needs space to manifest her love and relationship intent. THink of action - and reaction cycles. Not words, but energy, who you are. Being and her attuning to your being.
Most nggas say shit, ask respect, ask for pussy, ask for their woman not cheating - all that means a single thing: I am a man that asks... Therefore all their women will always be is: I am the woman that will give, when I feel like you deserve it. Regardless of the topic. The energy is what matters.
You may never have discussed gifts, but if you are the man that asks and she the woman that gives, she will slip in a self bought gift and then give (whatever you asked for - some women even justify not cheating after they get a gift because of this), because that is the energy exchange you set up.
When men check out - who they are changes. They become - Man that is ready to leave. There's huge voids in the communication. You don't have to say anything! Women read moods, that void speaks a different language than you sayin: I am unhappy. They are made to be able to adapt and mold to criminals and warlords to survive. If you talk, it means she still has negotiating opportunities. When you just let the distance grow - she then feels like she needs to become: woman that doesn't want to be out in the cold. She may consciously want to leave - but this shit is instinctual.
STOP LISTENING TO WOMEN!!!
Feeling > Action > Bullshit rationalization
Let's go backward from action and forget the fucking words out of her mouth. They only matter as much as the intent behind them matters.
Action: She fucks > therefore she wants you physically, she feels safe with you and needs your maleness from you. She might need the same from the mailman, we don't know - yet. This is the definition of a slut - easy trust and high indiscriminate need of masculine desire.
Action: She tells you "she doesn't trust you" > she is scared she lacks power over you, bad baby-mommy dead-grip power, but still if she didn't have a father - that's the only form of power she thinks she can have in a relationship.
I won't give you life advice. I don't know your financials or this woman. The right choice might not be the best choice, it rarely is. But I fear the biggest issue is your mind. You expect the Disney fairytale. Things to just work and you feel good forever after. Disney love stories are predicated on teenage crushes. It's not even love it's crushes that the writers let escalate to marriages.
A real relationship is a collective effort. It's ownership and continuous sacrifice. It's work, daily.... it's like forging a 20 year old Katana. It's about giving, not being loved and validated. When you and your baby mommy understand that. Understand that happiness, validation and youth is in your rear window - then you can start actually building something else and be adults. (a regular hoe will never want this shit, a potential single mother - might - the issue is you, do you want to start a different life?)
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
There is no such thing as love.
You're missing the closeness and I get that, but male-female love does not exist in the way you would like it to.
Power, drama, feels. It's how they're wired, and it's why they are so bad at relationships.
You didn't destroy the family: she did. She is the one who needs the drama and being treated like shit and cheating in order to properly feel. That's not a family and a loving relationship with someone like that is impossible because they make it impossible.
Sure, and try to find women to have a longer term thing with.