Feeling really deflated. We both really like each other and it’s going well but I’m losing patience with her sometimes.
She’s been really tired lately as she has a new intense job which requires long 12 hour shifts 5 days a week. Normally she is in bed by 9-10pm on weekdays.
I booked a weekend away this weekend and I’m currently sat on my own on the sofa on our final night before we check out tomorrow, typing this out whilst she’s upstairs in bed with all her clothes on. She expects me to just lay in bed with her cuddling her whilst she falls asleep and I’m wide awake. She kept mumbling half asleep ‘I’m just having a rest’ which obviously was not true
The time we spend together in the day is fun and she’s her normal self, then it gets to a certain time after eating food or a few drinks and she suddenly turns and becomes a complete zombie and wants to fall asleep.
This doesn’t happen all the time but something similar has happened a few times in the past couple of months and it’s beginning to get on my nerves.
Especially this weekend which was meant to be a romantic getaway and she’s fallen asleep early on consecutive nights.
I’ve lightheartedly joked with her and offered her to come downstairs and have a drink but she said half asleep ‘sorry no, I’m exhausted’. I said ‘come on it’s our last night, it’s a Saturday night, I don’t know what to do with myself I’m wide awake and you’re just here in bed’ (obviously in a normal situation and just get up and do my thing, but we’re away and there’s nothing for me to do except browse my phone) and she just apologized again and basically said something along the lines of ‘what do you want me to do’ and gave me this look as if she was worried an argument was about to happen
I ended it by saying fine I’ll entertain myself then and leave you to it and left her to fall asleep.
What should I say to her in the morning and how should I act? I don’t want to appear butthurt but should I be right to be pissed off?
HardTruth 1y ago
You’re not happy with the relationship. That’s all that matters. Move on mentally and go get some.
She takes you for granted and there’s not enough dread. The whole relationship sounds like it’s in her frame, it’s all about how she’s feeling and what she wants.
Let me ask you a question. And I think we already know the answer because you sound like a good guy. If you were exhausted after 12 hours of work and wanted to sleep, and ur gf really reallyyyy wanted to take you out to ice cream real quick, would you do it? Would you get out of bed to make her happy cuz making her happy makes you happy? I’m guessing you would.
Well she sounds like she doesn’t treat you that way and she takes you for granted.
Now that being said, Under absolutely no circumstances do NOT bitch to her about any of this. Don’t explain it. Don’t bitch about it. Just mentally detach and go get some.
You’re a fucking man. She’s not satisfying you and it’s not really working out how you want, that’s all there is to it.
I’d recommend watching this video
MJ GetRight “This is what happens when you ignore women” https://youtu.be/ZNzIfw-3L2Q
And this video:
MJ GetRight “The #1 thing you never let a woman disrespect”
https://youtu.be/6MtGt0XIYNc
Watch these two videos for a good example on the type of attitude I’m talking about. Not butthurt just matter-of-fact.
She doesn’t appreciate you and takes you for granted and probably needs some subtle or overt dread.
HardTruth 1y ago
Honestly dude after re-reading your last paragraph, I would mentally and emotionally detach and withdraw from her.
When she starts getting hysterical and asking what’s wrong, just say “I didn’t really like the vibes on our trip. I wasn’t feeling the vibes between us.”
Just like that. Not butthurt, not bitching. Don’t bring it up, wait for her to bring it up, and then say that like it’s an afterthought. Be dismissive and avoidant and distant. Go bang another chick. She doesn’t appreciate you and she wasted your time. Don’t rationalize it.
I would completely detach and be super aloof and dismissive and start seeing someone else and when she flips out I’d just say “idk I wasn’t feeling the vibes on the last trip” or the classic Patrice O’Neal line “you were acting like you needed some space.” Go fuck someone else she failed. Don’t give her any more of your time and effort. She friendzoned you that entire trip and if that’s not the dynamic you want then don’t put up with it go find another girl.
HopelessRomantic 1y ago
"The time we spend together in the day is fun and she’s her normal self, then it gets to a certain time after eating food or a few drinks and she suddenly turns and becomes a complete zombie and wants to fall asleep. "
"Especially this weekend which was meant to be a romantic getaway and she’s fallen asleep early on consecutive nights."
"What should I say to her in the morning and how should I act? I don’t want to appear butthurt but should I be right to be pissed off? "
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I used to pull 7 12's for 6 weeks at a time in hard labor(blasting). The human body can only take so much. I'd imagine for a woman 5 12's is about like 7 12's for a man. Just be glad she even had the energy to go on a weekend getaway. Just entertain yourself and let her sleep.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
This is understandable.
You two have different expectations
Just calling it that will not really help manage expectations. All the ideas of "romantic" getaways, hotel nights, holidays, etc. are really just manifestations of blue pill conditioning. It stems from the feeling that you're not getting your needs met so you have to make special plans in order to catch up on lost sexy time.
Relationships dont work that way, because females dont work that way.
She should be keeping your balls drained properly, no matter your schedule. If the schedule is tight it just means you need to plan better.
The fundamental issue is that you are either in her frame, or your frame is a weak one; where your needs are not of the highest importance.
You shouldnt communicate all of this verbally. Start being more selfish. Never be mean or angry, just get rid of the idea that things should be somewhat equal between you.
Take initiative for sex at all sorts of times. If she gets up early for work, make sure you get your piece of her before she spends her energy slaving away for someone else. Get up and fuck her while she's doing her make up, cooking, getting dressed, whatever. Really get frisky with her.
If she is blowing you off even when she is rested you need to apply more Dread. Dont show your frustration.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
She's tired, cut her some slack.
But equally you don't have to lay there bored and cuddling, and you can reasonably expect weekend breaks to be fun.
The girl is exhausted.... jeez
Obviously hot morning sex. If she's well rested and not interested that's a huge red flag.
What's your alternatives here? Girl is tired... but that means you're getting little out of the relationship. Demote her and see other women or stick it out. But this is obviously unacceptable long term.