Is this a red flag? Seems like a shit test. But she doesn’t actually withhold sex it’s just sometimes I will throw in a joke about “I work out so I can throw you around the bed” and she will laugh but then say all I think about is sex or some variation of it.
Is this the old case of “watch what she does not what she says”?? She is a huge freak and I don’t take her serious at all, but sometimes I’m not sure if it’s a shit test or her being insecure that I’m being too alpha?
I would consider the actual withdraw of sex as a shit test. But This seems a little bit different? Can’t tell if it’s just girl talk or if she needs more comfort or if it’s indeed a shit test.
Not sure if I would consider it a red flag, either. But something to keep an eye on.
My main concern is that she is in the process of betafying me. In the same way that a girl will act like she’s not a slut to her husband.
But the thing is that we do extreme bdsm, so I do all these extreme things on her. So...?
whytehorse2021 2y ago
I treat everything as a shit test unless I can prove otherwise. With LTRs you have to throw in some comfort. "Yeah I only think about sex because of YOU"
Scorpion69_ 2y ago
Throw in some comfort in ltrs. 80% alpha 20% "beta"
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
"All you can think about is sex" is half a step away from "I am not your whore".
It's a major red flag that the end of the fun part of the relationship is coming. She's testing out this line to see if she can make it stick.
Yes, but what she does is make jokes about what she's going to do next.
You should be concerned.
For now..... next time she says "all you think about is sex", tell her "You should be worried when I stop thinking about sex with you".
SheLarror1234 2y ago
This.
SeasonedRP 1 2y ago
OP, mattyanon is right. She's saying that because she is using sex to keep you around. This is very common; not necessarily saying "all you think about is sex," but instead appearing to be enthusiastic about it and doing what you want simply to lock you down. Her comments gave away her endgame and signal that the frequent sex is nearing an end. Once you get serious or marry women under these conditions, they begin withholding sex-at first gradually, then more frequently as you are more committed. If I were you, I wouldn't be exclusive with this girl.
desbryant 2y ago
Ok next time I will pull that card on her. But for now, what? This was over text by the way.
SeasonedRP 1 2y ago
Start talking to other girls and move this relationship away from being exclusive.
elevengames 2y ago
Like others said. She is testing boundaries. Likely you gave too much beta in proportion. to alpha.
You need to loose boundaries. Treat her with no respect in foreplay and sex. Behave like animal.
Couple min after don't forget to give her a peck on a forehead and say She has been real lady today but she couldn't resist to what you wanted to do. Make sure she was no lady in sex at all tho.
HopelessRomantic 2y ago
Yes, of course all you think about is sex, we're wired to. However, try not to have sex be the ONLY thing on your mind. Focus on yourself, read a book, go to the gym (which you have been), take up a hobby. If you're doing things with her and all you're looking forward to is sex - she has you right where she wants you. I've known many couples who were involved in heavy BDSM and not a single one ever lasted. That's not to say that yours will, but be mindful, (I'm not saying BDSM is the reason that it doesn't last but at a certain point it fizzles out - like most intimacy). I don't know how old you guys are, sounds like you're young and she's just wanting to have crazy, raw and ridiculous sex; which is good for both of you - for now.
In conclusion, it's definitely a shit test in my mind. She wants to plant the seed in your head and get to you start thinking "I mean maybe I should sacrifice my sexual tendencies and be a more appropriate lover/bf/friend etc". When that happens, that's where you start sacrificing your ideals and identity to please here - and that's NOT okay.
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