I am 25 and i am kissless and never been with a girl, paid for sex once because i had given up on getting it any other way. Now i realize that its obviously because i was never a man and was trapped in a very fucked world of porn and video games. I am quitting that.
After getting some Jordan Peterson videos in my recommended i want to stop giving up and try to become a man and follow his advice and get what i want, even tho if i am being honest i think subconsciously i still think i've fucked myself mentally beyond repair and that mindset is probably the worst case scenario but how can you be any other way when you have been failing socially as long as you remember and are clueless about the outside world? Either way i want to try change that.
Now my question is if i am making a grave mistake of staying in my hometown of less than 7000 (with two medium sized cities close tho) in a job which will have me stuck here. And i have to commit a lot of time and effort into keeping this job so later ill probably not want to quit it. And its never going to pay a whole lot, its just very stable and gives me a lot of free time which i value. Am i playing the wrong game here?
Anyway, i'd like to attribute the complete lack of women in my life at least a bit to the fact that i live in a small town, i think in a place like this not having many friends, not getting invited anywhere, no social circle and status is basically a guarantee of not getting anything right? I am not sure cold approach and trying to pick up women same night is going to work at a place where everyone knows everyone else? Or i have the wrong way of looking at things? I will try to change all that tho.
I still don't see any other option than going out and cold approaching people.
So does this sound okay or am i making some mistakes or am i even still in the defeatist beta mindset?
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
Congrats on "waking up". Expect your active self improvement journey to take years, but you have lots of time, and know that it's going to be well worth it.
Everything is harder in a small town. You have to decide for yourself if you want to move, but there's no rush. If i were you i would focus very little on actively gaming women for now. Build confidence and healthy and strong body. Check out Renaissance Periodization on youtube for diet and workout tips.
Look into men's style and make some cheap improvements e.g. better fitting clothes, better and more frequent hair cuts, etc. Look good and smell good. Get valuable work experience or education, and actually research what avenues have a good return on investment so you're not stuck in some dead end profession.
Start reading some sidebar material, read/listen to No More Mr. Nice Guy, and The Book of Pook, to start with.
aweawea_ 3y ago
175cm, 79kg bw and benched 100kg for 7 reps the other day, and i am still gaining strenght at a fast pace, i havent hit any kind of wall yet, if even one exists (i think only age is the only thing that at some point will make it impossible to progress further), and i'd be way above even this but injuries halted my progress numerous times but point is i am doing very well for myself on the fitness front already :). I do need to read stuff like NMMNG because i find that its very easy to forget stuff that hasn't become part of you yet. Cuz i've read lots but i need to put into practice. I need to beat the pussy out of myself with exposure. And it looks to be one of the most painful things i can think of, apart from literal torture. (I know it shouldn't be, but thats how big of a problem my brain has built it up into.)
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
Gaining strength is good. Looks wise, once you have a bit of muscle, having a low bodyfat % is the most important. Aim for 10% BF, outside of bulks/cuts.
Before TRP i had a lot of social and situational anxiety. Now i have none. Exposure is therapy.
Challenging your own anxieties, facing your fears and overcoming them is exhilarating. You're gonna look back and think you were a fool to shy away from them for so long.
aweawea_ 3y ago
Well in terms of fitness, muscle and strength i am not going to put all my effort into maximizing looks, i have certain performance goals and that might require having a bit more fat, so i am not going to go on aggressive cuts just for women, and i am still going to be above 95% of guys in terms of looks (well probably already am > the 90%). Natural small waist, and i have more than a bit of muscle, so a bit higher BF is fine. Yeah, i still have the fears, but gotta do what i gotta do. I have to become the warrior in the garden.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
Good plan. Set some goals that are trackable.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
I've learned all the hot chicks leave shit-holes as soon as they turn 18. That makes the one average chick left think she's god's gift to men. Just follow the competition. Bangkok has so many hotties it's like $20 for raw dog sex and sometimes free.
aweawea_ 3y ago
That makes sense, and again its the pussy in me taking the "easier" way because my lack of life experience and social skills and some practical skills telling me i wont make it in the big city and i will have to work some shitty job that i hate for a long ass time. Me wanting to stay is mostly because of the job i have landed, at least i don't have to suffer while doing the thing that will occupt the most of my life. I'd hate my life even more and actually off myself with a shitty job. I think ill put that off and try to develop those skills here. This job will expand my technical skill and knowledge at a particular field AND gives me ample free time. So if i manage that well, i should have the capability to escape in 5-10 years? At least i hope, doesn't seem like i am guaranteed doomed here.
I think my idea is not bad at all, its just that optimally i'd be at this stage at 18, not 25, but it is what it is, i have to cut my losses and do what i can and try to fix the mess i've put myself in.
I was fucking CLUELESS at 18 tho, like fucking up in the CLOUDS, such a dummy, it sucks, i've wasted a lot of time and i am very far behind in most things because of it.
SheLarror1234 3y ago
Bruh, you should be worried about yourself, not women. Worried about your righteousness, your mental and moral precision, your money, your faith, your body, and your understanding. Don't base your value on women attraction and shit at all. This is the beta mindset. Eating up the social norms, popular culture, and all that corruption, and making it your scale of if you are doing good in life or not. Good job for stopping porn, good job for saving time by limiting games. Your improving yourself, something no women that you could ever desire can say they are doing. Your self improvement itself is valuable. And just because you never kissed a girl does not make you a worst man, and id argue that it makes you a even more valuable man as most dudes only corrupt themselves and their minds doing all that sexual shit with harlot woman.
My word of advice is keep learning, keep understanding, and WATCH what you do and think about it hard before you do it. Your not unlucky your sexual experience with sex is limited, but even perhaps lucky.
We tend to forget important lessons by a longing of women attention and feelings. Whytehorse was pretty much telling you that its not always your fault and just because you dont have any life like how you expect, it does not mean you have no value. It does not mean you were losing, or are losing, or have lost. Living in a shit hole like how he said makes the competition way harder. 10x harder if you are living in the united states where feminism is getting stronger by the day. And with all of these bad experiences on redpill are you sure its what you want to value over yourself anyways?
aweawea_ 3y ago
Its eastern europe, so its not as bad, if it was the states and similar, i can see how getting out is paramount. Anyways, yeah i am on that self improvement grind but i've been isolating myself so hard, that i need to figure out how to create some social cirles and get some experiences, while keeping aligned with RP and outcome independence. But i hear ya, i'll need to be sharp and stand up for myself.