So I have a few close friends. Somehow I must be a good listener as they always unload on me their most personal problems at work or in their private lives. Sometimes they even feel the need to send me voice messages in the morning where they are already bitching about something. Is this normal with friends? I have made a point to tell them to stop. I never do this to people, I also feel like I have my life in order, though I do have my own fair share of problems like every human being. Of course, this post is a bit of bitching but I would like to ask you how you handle this stuff.
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SgtBuchannon99 4y ago
Male friends? If male, theres a reason we say only vent to your male bros, never girlfriend or wife.
Keep that one in mind. Either theyre a high value man and youre their confidant or your friend just happens to be a beta that complains a lot, but rule #1 still applies, male friends are all we have for venting. Beta or alpha.
Cutting off friends for being occasionally beta is not a good strategy. We all have our moments, and frankly you are not a female trying to fuck them and require stoicness. That being said we dont want to spend time with absolute losers in life either.
TheAurora 4y ago
Yes, male friends. Of course, I have an open ear but I never bitch to them, so I do not value them bitching to me all the time. I also make a point of telling them that they should bitch less.
SgtBuchannon99 4y ago
You have to distinguish between outgrowing old friends (Who are low value and beta) and them holding you back, and high value friends who are using you as a confidant.
Generally you dont want to cut friends off for being beta, but if you have outgrown them, it might be time. You generally shouldnt cut off day 1 best friends however.
TheAurora 4y ago
The thing about old/ day 1 friends is that they have a certain image of you and want you to be something for them. But I am a very loyal person and will not cut these people out over minor stuff.