I keep seeing this on all bluepill dating forums and advice. But a lot of Redpill advice is basically opposite. If theres an issue, you soft next, hard next, dont tell them whats bugging you, radio silence, etc.
I have seen myself a lot of issues coming up and i have tried the redpill method of constantly soft-nexting my ltr. I have seen it work to a degree, but also i have seen the same thing being repeated even though i punished her. But in the past i have also addressed something more direct, and it was fixed right then and there and she never did it again.
I find this to be one of the most confusing aspects of redpill advice. Why does everyone recommend being a redpill robot that doesnt talk about issues, everything is just defaulted to some variation "ignore game", which has its place, but from my experience, it doesnt completely fix the issue.
IS this seriously all that relationships are like as a redpiller? Being a robot who has to punish by withdrawing attention instead of direct communication?
WokeDown 2y ago
It's important as in foundational for a real LTR but not the all remedy solution to problematic relationships bluepillers make it out to be.
People fall back on platitudes just to hear themselves talk and feel useful.
Durek_The_Bald 2y ago
Communication is important in an LTR, just not in the way women and men with women brains like to think it is. When you're annoyed, upset, weak or otherwise emotional or rattled somehow, it's better to just STFU, withdraw attention, and go do something else. It's just going to be your hamster arguing with her hamster anyways, and so it's both pointless and unattractive to "communicate".
If you're looking for "support", or otherwise feeling the urge to expose some kind of weakness you haven't yet overcome, then STFU, and go do something else. Talk to your mates in stead, don't share stuff like that with your LTR. Your girlfriend or wife isn't your mate.
But if you're in a mental state where you can be assertive/funny/cocky and attractive, then overt communication is fine. And if you're always like that, then good on you, chat away whenever you like. It's not so much what you say, but how you say it; whether you communicate something attractively or unattractively.
You know it in your gut when you're being attractive, and when you're being unattractive. Anything weak, emotional, butthurt or "woe is me" is unattractive. Try avoiding overt communication when your gut feeling tells you you're going to be unattractive. Better then to just zone her out, and go do something fun or productive for yourself. Overt communication should always come from a place of strength, abundance and peace of mind.
Having said that, if you mess up, open your mouth when you shouldn't have, and end up having a moment of unattractiveness, women's flimsy, unreliable, moment-to-moment feelings work to your advantage. Just like women easily forget good things, they almost as easily forget bad things. Just don't go doubling down by trying to "communicate" some more. Go back to being autonomous and attractive, and she'll soon forget.
STFU, withdraw attention, go do something else isn't a cardinal rule for all times and all situations, but more often than not it's good advice for guys - especially for guys who are on the path of becoming less unattractive. It's like when learning to play hockey, you keep both hands on the stick at all times. Once you become competent, you decide for yourself when to let go with one hand.
Ocean_11 2y ago
Or like 'driving' tesla with 2 oranges instead of your hands on a steering wheel and fucking on the passenger seat meanwhile. You can do it if you have hours of experience of driving this way. Eventually you will crash and burn, with your cock in her mug.
TRP rules are serious when you learn. STFU is v important. I didn't know what I do years ago when I did it instinctively and although it didn't protect me from being BP then it was easier to recover.
By design as a man you first think and then talk, if you do otherwise you fail yourself as a man.
Pop-culture learnt a man much bad behaviours like arguing much, not believing gut, believing that getting close male friendship is crypto-gay etc
Hanscheezburger 2y ago
It isn't. RP advices you to let them know your boundaries clearly. And if she crosses that line, don't be afraid to walk away. You soft next or hard next when your boundaries have been crossed, instead of having needless arguments or begging them to stay
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Oh no, you definitely tell them what's wrong.
But you don't enter into a fucking conversation about it. Girls will argue you to death, change the subject 150 times, then declare themselves the winner. They do this because it works. Girls fucking love the fight because every second you are arguing you are proving to them that you are prepared to fight to keep them.
Instead you say "don't do X" and then you soft next them. They hate this and learn.
No.
Communication is fine, so long as it is genuine communication.
But when it devolves into mud slinging and drama and the other hurtful bullshitty stupid way that women argue: time to bring out the TRP hammer. "Girl, don't do this, the end". Then walk to show you are serious, rather than staying to argue and proving to her that you will suffer to make the relationship work.
There's an art to this.