I’ve noticed I’m doing far better now being almost “soft”. Almost conflict avoiding.
Previously if a girl was kinda stinky I’d say hey go take a quick shower then lets fuck and always they’d get pretty pissy and kill the mood. Now I just say lets go shower together.
Or just with dates beforehand I’d say lets split it because a lot of girls just use guys for money now a days and they’d unmatch. Now I just pay, and still end up getting laid.
Or previously time a girl asked after fucking some shit like so how do you like me how was the sex I’d be aloofish and they’d ghost or go cold. Last nights new girl did the same shit and I beta’d it and said amazing and I really like you you’re fun and today she is blowing the shit out of my phone to see me again.
Why does it seem like being betaish is working better.
Harris 4y ago
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graphemecluster 4y ago
Female attraction is more multidimensional. Alpha type behaviors are good for getting initial interest, and for getting casual one-off hookups. Beta type behaviors are good for keeping her around.
In the long term you’ll do best mixing both as appropriate. You’ll learn through trial and error. Do the Alpha thing to get her attention, do the Beta thing to keep her around. Do the Beta thing long enough and eventually she’ll get bored and unhaaaaaapy, then do the Alpha thing to get her primal attraction going again.
It’s common for newly redpilled newbies to overcorrect and do the Alpha thing too bluntly. It works so well for initial interactions, and it’s a thrill to finally be getting real attention from women, so newbies dive in a little too hard.
Think of it from an evolutionary perspective. Humans are a pair bonding species. Her first priority is to make sure you’re a badass, so you have to lead with the Alpha thing. But once you have her she’ll be wanting to make sure you stick around to protect her and provide for the baby, so if you push the Alpha thing too hard during that comfort phase she’ll bounce.
You’ll figure it out, trial and error.
A good rule of thumb is to always keep the Alpha thing in your back pocket for when genuine disagreements happen in an LTR. “Can you clean the coffee table when you’re done studying, you’re always leaving your papers and books around.” “No, don’t be a nag please.” “But it’s clutter.” “Stop complaining or I’m going to fuck you.” Give her a spank, and if she keeps it up fuck her. The rest of the time you can be Beta. They’re not mutually exclusive.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
fair
that's not just splitting the bill, that's accusing her of using you as well as telling her that other girls use you.
This isn't alpha vs beta....... this is you being charming vs being a dick.
Because you're no longer being a rude abrasive charmless dick.
Moonraven 4y ago
Can you elaborate or recommend something else to read?
What is the difference between being charming or a nice guy beta, it seems kind of the same to me.
Where is the line, I mean lets say a girl says some racist joke do I bite my tongue and go along the flow to keep the “fun vibe”, or be abrasive and tell her not to be a cunt. Or tell her nicely to tone it down and if she escalates THEN tell her not to be a cunt.
Its the “this isn’t alpha vs beta…… this is you being charming vs being a dick.” I don’t really see the difference. I’m not connecting what you’re putting down. I’m on to something but I don’t see the full view.
How do I get the bill split on a first date charmingly without making her feel like I’m accusing her. But also giving a decent explanation so she doesn’t feel like I’m a stingy prick who won’t drop $10 on her in the future if she earns my favours.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
massive difference
neither
right, there you go
You can be assertive and strong without making the other person feel bad.
It's a problem that you need to explain, this is low confidence on your part.
You manouvre around this. It's no-win for men: you pay you're a beta, you complain you're a whiner or tight or poor.
First few dates are the hardest.
Avoid meals. Expensive and can't talk.
Go out for drinks. Buy the first round. Then tell her "your round". If she's attracted she'll happily pay. If she's planning on exploiting you she'll complain.
If it's a bar where you pay at the end: change bars.
Never accuse her of exploiting men, never complain about female privilege, never whine. None of these things benefit you.
Moonraven 4y ago
An add on;
Or conversation. Instead of saying we’re going here to eat, they seem to be much happier and hornier when I say I want to go here how do you feel about it, and treating it as a negotiation.
quietus 4y ago
cuz trp is bullshit tbh ive had way more success just being soft and connecting with girls in their level just not be a simp
Dante 4y ago
I don't think being an alpha and a rock means being unemotional and cold. You are probably confusing betaness with emotional availability and connection. Also keep in mind that in some more traditional cultures girls are not as slutty.
Hanscheezburger 4y ago
leading helps me set up dates easier and get what I want quicker so I will keep doing it. Not all men are born to lead though so do whatever works for you buddy