I'm feeling depressed / have a lot of anxiety at the moment because of several reasons (one being a heart surgery coming up in a few weeks, I'm 20 :-)).
I'm doing what I have to to get through this phase but I don't see myself feeling normal again for at least month.
I've been dating a girl for almost a year but because of my current mental state, spending time with her feels more like a chore than something enjoyable at the moment; it gives me more anxiety. She knows about the surgery and I've not broke frame talking about it.
Is there any way to "put our relationship on hold" or explain my situation or should I just bite the bulllet and see her once a week untill I feel like myself again?
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
there are no save games
Yes, do that. it might not work.,
liftheavystuff 4y ago
Why wouldn't you want her support while you are going through something as serious as heart surgery?
Skevv 4y ago
I understand where OP is coming from. I have this thing where when life becomes difficult I tend to push most things aside. And having a gf at that time def felt like a chore for me. Anyone else? What I did at that time was just let her know “got exams coming up so I’m super focused tyyl” type of thing.
nibbetechn0 4y ago
Yep. Most human interaction just feels mentally draining at the moment, even answering her texts.
The issue is, you can't be "busy" forever either.
goodmansaysfuckyou 4y ago
Either see her once a week to provide maintenance attention or Nuke it and find a new chick once all your stuff is done and you're feeling up to the task of juggling women again.
She may stick around and provide you comfort while you rehab but that is not guaranteed. It depends on how selfish she is. There have been many stories that show women sacrificing to comfort their man when his is sick and/or injured. Conversely, there are many stories where a man has sacrificed for years to provide, support, and care for a woman just to have her bolt the moment that he is sick/injured. Only you can determine what type of woman she is.
If you do nuke it, then don't try to go back to her later. Nothing good ever comes from duct taping a relationship back together after it has ended. Temporary hold is no different from ending it and hoping to piece it together later. Resentment festers--regardless of what she says.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUKdqpBwfB8
Watch the whole thing but the important part is around the 7 minute mark.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Yeah I would just tell her I get anxiety around her and would rather spend my time enjoying myself so that if I die I at least have that.