Hi guys im 19 years old, I've known about the red pill about 3 or 4 years now but because back then I was a dumb looking kid that had an incel mentality I didn't really go anywhere. Last year I got ripped got a haircut and and started to look good. Unfortunately even with all the sidebar reading and articles without the actual experience, I ended up with what I believe to be a toxic relationship and I need your help. The girl was perfect at the start even a virgin and I took her virginity. She was sweet caring and understanding. But now as time passes, I don't know if she is being toxic or has been toxic all along. I find myself wishing to get that person back. She used to do allot of sports, hanged out and went out. After landing me (I am way better looking) she stopped going out and quit the sport, put on a couple of pounds and became this negative person. I do feel bad for her because her father is abusive at times but she has really changed. She doesn't go out with her friends at all. She doesn't go out except school.
She has also become more and more demanding. She has completely lost her sense of understanding. If she feels like I wronged her there is absolutely zero case of proving her wrong. She will hold frame until I apologise or say some shit to make her feel like it won't happen again.
I'm very aware that this is a tactic but this is the hard part about toxic relationships, when it's bad it's evil but when it's going good it's heaven. I noticed people said these people build you up and then put you down.Yes I do feel like I can't find another girl like her with her positive traits although even her positive traits have become numbed at this point. But I feel like being alone would be more horrible because I was an incel and alone most of my life.
It also doesn't help about 30 days ago I had a traumatic experience with her after a bad 3 day drug binge which has given me mental illness ( good news is this is one of the few ones that are not just treatable but curable) the bad news is its gonna take some time and I feel like I néed her for the bad days. I can't recognise her in allot of aspects, she just wants to be treated absolutely perfect in her image. She leaves such little margin of error in the shit you can say to her or talk to her and is horrible. I need some fucking sense put into me.
[deleted] 4y ago
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Howdoiverify 4y ago
Great idea bro, having bad days after binging on drugs, 30 days ago and having here there for the bad days, yeah great way to make you even more dependant on her. Your hamster brain will be ah shit she helped me pass my shitty days, who cares that she is toxic 90% of the time and I'm walking on eggshells.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
Time to put on the big boy pants. Break up with the young hag and stop with the drugs. Your life is barely starting and you're just self sabotaging right now.
Then sit down and figure out what you want from life 10, 20, 30 years from now. Reverse engineer that into a plan of action, and get started.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 4y ago
stop the drugs.
You already have shown the issue with relationship ( she holds frame until I apologize). You are in her frame.
hannulv 4y ago
This is ALL you. ALL of this toxic relationship is your fault, and none of it is her fault. Girls will always treat you as badly as they let them. The reason she is doing this is because you have no self-respect or abundance. Stop being a needy bitch. When she mistreats you, withdraw time and attention. If she crosses a red line, then walk. Enforce the boundaries and behaviors that you're comfortable with. There are plenty of other girls.
Girls give you their best, when they are afraid that other girls might steal you away. You have no abundance and so she feels comfortable walking all over you like a doormat, and you take it like the groveling simp that you are, because you're afraid of being alone. Once you're so far under her thumb that she can't even look at you, she'll happily dump you for an uglier guy with self-respect. Now is your time to grow yourself a pair of balls and start building yourself an amazing life that doesn't include giving yourself unnecessary mental illness.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Is she on hormonal birth control? I'd start with that. Also time for a reframe. Assert dominance. Stop letting her lead and lead yourself. If she's down with what you're on about then cool, if not, do it anyway without her.
p3n1x 4y ago
You have some serious character flaws, and she is still with you? Maybe she just wants you to get your shit together. She isn't your mom, don't put her in that role. I'm not seeing much that makes her "toxic". Start leading and she might chill the fuck out.
You are making your fuck up her responsibility and being bitchy about it. She wants to be treated like she isn't hanging out with a loser.