Hello,
I've known this girl from high-school, and she knew me too, but we never spoke and the only connection we have is that we both know each others names. I did catch her staring at me many times during school, but she was the year above and I was a full on beta back then.
It's been nearly 6 years since I saw her in person, and she is in town for some time; I think it's a holiday so I don't expect her to stay longer than a week.
Basically, how do I contact her and ask to meet? I feel it would be quite awkward since it has been ages since we saw each other, and I am not 100% sure if she is attracted to me.
Any guides on how to build attraction and texting? Would be great, thank you.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
ONEITIS.
Find more girls, never focus on just one.
dyl4356 4y ago
I understand what you mean, but if she's not interested i'll next her. Do you mean that I should game multiple girls at the same time? I had another girl in mind if this one is not interested.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
chase the other girl regardless of this one
dyl4356 4y ago
Do you have any guides on texting? My texting game sucks and some girls I am interested in gaming don't see me often, I want to know how this can be done from scratch if possible.
grilledcheesaroo 4y ago
Go to a hospital, ask for a bandaid for your scratch, then hit on the cute (hopefully not obese) nurse.
Serious answer: You're probably not gonna hit it. She knew you for years and hasn't shown any signs she likes you. Let it go.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
Why would he let it go
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
Assume it's not happening. You cant really build attraction over text but there are very legit do's and dont's, though you wont learn in a week. Essentially, dont be needy and dont be boring.
Just shoot her a text saying hey and that if she's in town you should meet up one day. If she is positive you can ask if she likes wine (or whatever date you want). If she says yes give her two evenings to choose from and just follow through. Be short and succinct.
You can also spill the date idea in one message but it wont have the same success rate.
aweawea_ 4y ago
What does "dont be boring" mean?
I reject myself before others can reject me bacause i keep thinking i would come across as boring and i just cant get over it. I am just so socially inept and have so little social experience that i KNOW that i have to go through probably months or years of humliating experiences before i can get even close to a normal social person. Thats just what happens when you go 10-15 years basically alone and just doing school/work->workout->play video games->sleep -> repeat
So i just avoid people. I just got a cute match but i am too tired of even trying at this point, i will probably fuck it up before i can even arrange a date, not that i know what to do if i even get it.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
I was also quite socially inept by my early 20s. But i had the will to change, so i read helpful books and did the work. There isnt really any other way.
I think first of all, for you, is that you have to stop thinking of yourself like a victim and a loser. You're a man. You've had challenges and are not where you want to be yet, but have respect for yourself and your goal.
aweawea_ 4y ago
I compare it with how some people who were fat all their life since their teens up to their 30s and how many of them get in actually good shape after that?
Many of them actually try, they try to workout, try to diet but it just never amounts to a significant improvement. Ive always been athletc and it all came relatively easy and since i got into working out ive just been further improving and improving but i feel like the fat guy who doesnt get it in terms of socializing, ive read and watched stuff and it has helped nothing, i could def take more action, but its harder when i have a hard time even imagining the path i have to take and the things i have to do. Anxiety is controlling me.
dyl4356 4y ago
I'd say I am more or less the same; I have a good genetic baseline for bodybuilding but in my teens I was underweight and smoked alot of weed, that led me to make friends with some betas and some alphas, and I would constantly sperg out when trying to socialise with the more popular kids. I am definitely not perfect now, but working out and strict dieting has improved my confidence immensely. I still feel that I can fuck up by being myself though, it's hard as hell to shake off the way you were brought up especially social skills. I'd definitely say it's way harder to be really extroverted than to maintain a healthy attractive physique. I don't advocate taking prescription drugs, but maybe asking a doctor for a short trial of antidepressants could help if you are having trouble socialising, but don't take any benzo's since they are highly addictive.